Eliminating the Mental Health Stigma

Eliminating the Mental Health Stigma

For many years many people have avoided seeking mental health care due to the negative stigma associated with it. However, this stigma has cost many teenage lives and the lives of veterans. Suicide for teens has recently moved from the third leading cause of death for children 10 to 18 years old to the second leading cause of death (CDC). Veterans from Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan to name a few of our recent wars, are more likely to develop PTSD and have significantly higher rates of suicide compared to the general population.

Now for many years many of us have accepted that there is no way to remove the stigma associated with mental health. However the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and the Duke of Sussex started the non-profit HeadsTogether. One of their many goals is removing the negative stigma associated with mental health. Their efforts are paying off and they are changing how people view mental health in England.

Now Seth Moulton, a democratic candidate for President, has proposed a plan to expand mental health care for military and vets. His plan also includes providing mental health checkups for all teenagers and establishing a mental health emergency number similar to the 911 emergency system. You may not like what he stands for but take the time to read the mental health plan he proposed. It could save many teenagers from committing suicide. It could also identify possible teenagers who may be the perpetrators of a mass school shooting before it happens. It also would provide active military and veterans with the mental health support they need https://politi.co/2Kb3Chr via @politico.

It has the possibility of doing all of this and removing the stigma associated with mental health. This plan makes physical health and mental health equal. Research shows they are equal. Physical and mental health issues are tied together so why shouldn’t we treat them the same?

Dr. Michael Rubino is an adolescent psychotherapist with over 20 years experience working with teens and children. For more information about his work visit his website http://www.RubinoCounseling.com.

Memorial Day A Day We Need to Look at Our Actions

Memorial Day A Day We Need to Look at Our Actions

It’s Memorial Day weekend and it’s also the beginning of graduations too. For many teenagers this means parties, hanging out with friends and staying out late. It’s a popular weekend to celebrate by drinking and some head for the beaches or swimming pools depending on the area you live in. Most people assume these are every day activities and everyone will have a good time.

However, this is not reality. Every year 5,000 teenagers are killed in motor vehicle accidents and 400,000 are injured (CDC statistics). These injures may range from cuts and bruises to someone being paralyzed by breaking their back. Concussions are very common and can have life long effects on someone.

Also regarding swimming, there are 3,500 accidental drowning every year. And out of these drownings 1 out of 5 are teenagers (CDC statistics). This is the number who die. It doesn’t include brain injuries due to lack of oxygen to the brain or breaking a neck by diving. A broken neck can result in death, paralysis or being in a Halo Brace for 6 months. Again this is an activity we assume is safe and nothing would happen swimming in a friend’s pool. These injuries can occur in car accidents too.

With it being the Memorial Day weekend and the beginning of graduations and graduation parties, there are going to be a lot of parties and drinking. There are also going to be a lot of drunk driving accidents, drownings and accidental overdosing. You have no way to know if your teenager or your family might be one of the unlucky families this weekend. It could be your teen who is killed or it could be you.

You never know what is going to happen in life. Especially given everything that is happening all over the world. And if you look at the above statistics, you never know when or if something is going to happen.

A mother experienced this fact when her son committed suicide. Suicide is now the second leading cause of death for teenagers (CDC). After that she wrote the following poem to her son. She also encouraged all parents of teenagers to remember to say “I love you,” to your teenager. You may not get another chance.

I Love You

How could you?

They asked you,

How could you?

But you could not answer

As you were not here.

Why would you?

They asked you,

Why would you?

But their questions fell onto

The world’s deafest ears.

I loved you!

They told you,

I loved you.

But they told you too late,

Through their tears.

I’ll miss you,

They told you,

I’ll miss you.

And in death now

They hold you more dear.

The point is don’t take the risk. Since you never know what may happen and many teens feel that their parents don’t care, take the opportunity while you have it to express your feelings. Don’t spend the rest of your life regretting I never told him I loved him or wondering if that would have made the difference.

Also the ironic part to this weekend is it really a time to honor the men and women who have served in the military. To remember all those soldiers who have been killed, injured for life or coping with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or a Traumatic Brain Injury, so we can benefit from a democracy that allows us the freedom to live our lives how we want to live life. So we can go to church if we want and express our opinions without having to fear for our lives.

However, over time we have forgotten the meaning of today. Therefore, we do not value what we have and take chances with our lives we do not need to take. We also forget the veterans who are paralyzed or trying to cope with PTSD and reliving the war they were in daily. This also has a major impact on veteran’s families too. Another fact we forget.

May be if we take a few minutes to remember the true meaning of this weekend, we will value life more and be less likely to take senseless chances such as driving drunk. We may also remember the veterans who are still struggling with their injuries today and ensure they get the help they need and deserve. Many do not and as a result the suicide rate for veterans is very high compared to the general population. There are few treatment option for them too. A very sad fact when they provided us with the freedom we enjoy daily.

Dr. Rubino is a psychotherapist is Pleasant Hill who specializes in treating children and teenagers. He has over 20 years of working with teens. To find out more about his work, his private practice or to contact him visit his website at http://www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page http://www.Facebook.com/drrubino3.

IEP Categories Parents May not know

IEP Categories Parents May not know

Many parents are mislead and believe their child must be 2 grade levels behind before they qualify for an IEP. Here are the 14 ways a child qualifies for an IEP. The 2 grade level behind is not the only way., Therefore watch this video and learn about all 14 categories. This will help you when the school tries to not provide an IEP or remove one because your child is not 2 grade levels below in a subject. You will know all the categories that apply to your child and entitles your child to an IEP. Special Education Categories https://youtu.be/cFtg2xub10E via @YouTube

Respect is A Two Way Street

Respect is A Two Way Street

As an adolescent psychotherapist one of the major issues I deal with is respect. Teenagers feel disrespected by their parents and parents feel dissected by their teenagers. At this time of year with high school graduations and teenagers graduating from middle school, this issue becomes more intense especially regarding boundaries and plans for summer activities since there is no school.

Yes it is true that as teenagers you are becoming young adults and that you should be able to handle more responsibility. The big word in that last sentence is SHOULD. Just because you have graduated from middle school or high school doesn’t mean you are in charge of or that you are ready to handle all aspects of your life. You are a YOUNG adult. Noticed I capitalized the word young. There are still a number of life experiences for you to learn from and until you do, your parents are responsible for and probably need to help you.

A number of you have heard your parents say when you are 18 years old you can do as you like. This is the case if you are in a situation where you can financially support yourself and provide for all your needs. If you are still financially dependent on your parents, even though you are 18, your parents do have a right to set certain rules that you need to follow.

Prior to you turning 18, any trouble you get into, your parents are legally responsible for the damage. If you damage property, your parents are legally responsible. If you get arrested and put in Juvenile Hall, your parents receive a bill from County for the length a time you were in Juvenile Hall. These are just a few examples that your parents have being your parent.

You may think that you do not need your parents, but you need their permission to drive and basically for anything you want to do in life. Even if they give you permission to drive and you get your license, they have the ability to have your driver’s license suspended at any time they want while you are under the age of 18.

As I started off as a teenager you SHOULD be able to handle more responsibility. This responsibility is not an automatic gift you receive when you turn 13. This respect you so desperately want is something you have to earn. How do you earn it? You earn it by respecting the rules that your parents have set and by taking care of your responsibilities – for a teen, your primary responsibility is school. This means going to school on a regular basis, doing your homework, earning decent grades and not making poor choices such as drinking alcohol or drugs. For teenagers who have graduated high school you may feel the above guidelines do not apply to you. However, if you parents are assisting to pay for college, your living expenses and such things as your health insurance, the guidelines apply to you too. You may say this is unfair, well welcome to the adult world.

Ask your parents how many times they have to do something at work they feel is unfair, but if they want their job they have to do it. Ask your parents how many days they get up tired or not feeling well and they would prefer to stay home from work, but they still go to work. They go to work because the have a family to support and bills to pay. Your parents want you to succeed in life. If you feel they really are not giving you enough freedom, then ask your parents if you can discuss this issue with them. However, ask in a mature, respectful manner do not demand a conversation. When you discuss the issue with your parents have some things you have been doing, e.g., your homework, respecting curfew, that demonstrate you can handle more responsibility. Do not just demand it because your friends have it.

Remember the respect and maturity that you want, you must earn. You earn it by respecting your parents, other adults and recognizing that you have responsibilities. You do not get it because you turned 13 or because you graduated high school. This can be a difficult time of life, but it can be a time when you learn a lot about the world and yourself. If you remember you need to earn your parents trust and you actively try to do so, your parents will work with you and start to trust you. The choice is yours, you can make your teen years difficult or make them easier by working with your parents – you decide.

Parents while your teenagers have a lot to learn and do need to demonstrate they can handle responsibility, you need to give them opportunities to earn your respect. You have to have faith in your teenager and say yes sometimes even when you have doubts. Obviously you start by saying yes to the little request and allow them to earn your respect. Also if you have doubts or concerns talk to your teenager about high school or college. If you have open minded conversations with your teenager, they will respect and trust you. This provides a situation where you and your teen can have open, honest conversations in the good and bad times. It can help you develop a closer relationship with your teen and you can assist your teenager in becoming a responsible young adult you can be proud of.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating adolescents and children. To learn more about his work or private practice visit his website http://www.RubinoCounseling.com or http://www.rcs-ca.com or his Facebook page http://www.Facebook.com/drrubino3.

Taking Control of Your Child’s IEP

Taking Control of Your Child’s IEP

Many parents do not know what to expect at an IEP meeting. In fact many parents don’t know the difference between a 504 plan and an IEP. As a result many parents settle for a 504 when they need an IEP.

I have included a link to an article that will help you take control of your child’s IEP. If you take the lead your child will get what they need to achieve at school. If your child is having difficulties at school and may need an IEP not a 504 schools push. Read this article so you are the leader of your child’s IEP meeting & you get your child what they need to make the most of their education https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/coach-your-iep-team-valerie-aprahamian/

Save Our Children’s Lives

Save Our Children’s Lives

This week we have experienced two more school shootings. The students who attend these schools lives have been changed for ever so have their parents. However, these shootings have resulted in an increase in teenagers who are complaining of anxiety and depression. Many of these teenagers are also afraid to go to school too. I have also been seeing more teenagers being placed on home/hospital for school. This means a teacher comes to the house once a week instead of the teenager going to school. This is an alarming trend.

I have also been hearing more teenagers talking about needing to carry a knife with them for their own safety. They tell me you never know when someone might try to attack you. These are not juvenile delinquents or gang members, these are average teenagers. They come from healthy families and are doing well in school and not involved in drugs. This need they feel to protect themselves is an alarming trend.

However, if you take a step back and look at what these children have seen over their lives it makes sense. Most of these teenagers were very young on 9/11 when the United States was attacked. Since 9/11 they have also seen two wars and heard on the nightly news about terrorist alerts or attacks around the world.

In addition to terrorism, this is the first generation growing up with mass shootings. According to ABC News from 2000 to 2015 there have been 140 mass shootings and since January 1, 2016, there have been more mass shootings than the previous 15 years. According to the CDC statistics on mass shootings every day 36 people are killed in the United States by a gun. This does not include suicides. For teenagers, suicide has risen to the second from the third leading cause of death for children between 10 and 18 years old and using a gun is one of the most popular methods of suicide.

Going back to the mass school shootings, ABC News statistics reported there were more school shootings in 2016 than all the school shootings combined from 2000 to 2015. This is a terrifying fact. CNN News has estimated that since the Parkland shooting in 2018, there has been a school shooting every 11.8 days. Also since January 1, 2019 there have been over 28 school shootings (CDC, NBC News, CNN).

In addition to these facts, children now have to undergo shooter drills at school. When we grew up we had fire drills to practice what to do if there was a fire at school. Now elementary children have active shooter drills. A code is sent to the teachers and students are told to shelter in place and be very quiet. They do not know if it is real or a drill. During one shooter drill a second grader was so afraid she wrote on her arms “I love you mommy and daddy,” in case it was real and she was killed.

No wonder we are seeing a significant increase in anxiety and depression in elementary school students. Imagine the stress kids live with going to school not knowing if they might be killed that day. How is a child supposed to learn under those conditions?

After the Parkland shootings, students and parents were saying never again. These very brave, mature high school students have been speaking out regarding the need for safe and sane gun laws. They were able to get laws changed in Florida, but they have not been able to get the United States Congress to act. I think these brave students may need some help. Parents you are in a position to help. You can also help save future lives maybe even the life of your own child.

Many school districts are provided State and Federal funds based on how many students attend school on a daily basis. This may sound extreme, but look at the statistics. Every year more children are dying due to school shootings and guns. Our government has done nothing to protect our children. Therefore, we may need to use extreme means to get the President’s attention.

I suggest on the Tuesday after Memorial Day that every parent keep their child and Teenager home in memory of all the students and school staff members that have been killed. Also call the office of your US Senator and demand they enact safe and sane gun reform. Also leave a message at the office of the Governor for your state. If they fail to pay attention over the summer, on the first day of school again keep your children home and make the same calls. If the school districts start to show a reduction in attendance they will be in danger of losing State and Federal funding. Therefore, they will place pressure on the U.S Congress too. Unfortunately, it seems like the U.S. Government only acts when money is involved. Therefore, if we want to protect our children we need to play by their rules.

Dr. Michael Rubino has over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers and dealing with victims of trauma. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website at http://www.RubinoCounseling.com, Facebook http://www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or on Twitter @RubinoTherapy