Many people complain about how teenagers act and their disrespect for adults and rules. However, what do we expect? We are teaching teenagers to be selfish, not to comply with the rules and not to be respectful to other people. How are we teaching teenagers to act this way? We are teaching them to act this way because we have a President who acts this way and no one is stopping him. People just say, “well that is how Trump acts.” We would not say that if it was a teenager calling his teacher a whore.
A perfect example is the rally he is planning on holding in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Tulsa just recorded the highest number of hospitalizations today for the Coronavirus (CDC). In fact, the United States also recorded the highest number of new Coronavirus infections today (CDC) and the World Health Organization reported today the world reported the highest number of new cases of the Coronavirus since the beginning of the pandemic. These numbers are not due to increased testing either. We know this by the number of people being hospitalized. The mayor of Tucson, Arizona stated yesterday that her city was running out of ICU beds for Coronavirus patients. Dr. Fauci, the expert regarding viruses, stated inside events, such as Trump’s rally, are dangerous at this time. Every other leading public health expert agrees with Dr. Fauci.
However, President Trump is having a rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma with over 20,000 people in an enclosed space and people are not required to wear face masks anyway. If it is so safe as Trump claims, why is the Trump campaign requiring people who attend the rally to sign a statement that they will not hold the Trump campaign legally liable if they catch the Coronavirus? Trump doesn’t care if he is exposing 20,000 people to a deadly virus, which we have no cure for, all he cares about is getting his way and having his rally. Never mind that Major League Baseball cannot have games due to the risk of the Coronavirus nor can the National Basketball League have games with fans due to the risk the Coronavirus poses, but Trump can hold his campaign rally. We are telling children and teenagers they cannot go to Disneyland, water parks or play with friends, but Trump is holding a rally because he wants to. If you were a child or teenager, would this make sense to you?
I ask you, what are we teaching children and teenagers? Why should they follow the rules? What they are seeing if you scream enough and insult enough people, you get your way. We need to remember that developmentally teenagers frontal lobes are not fully developed so they do not reason like adults. Therefore, yelling and insulting people in authority is how they tend to react when they want their way. What motivation do they have to change when they see Trump using the same tactics and getting his way.
We are urging teenagers not to bully and to be sensitive to what they post on social media because it can negatively impact other people. In fact, teenagers have had their acceptance to colleges revoked and teenagers have been charged with harassment because of what they posted about other kids or races on social media. This seems unfair when the President insults people daily on Twitter. He never thinks about how his tweets may impact people. In fact, the tweet he posted today about his rally threaten people with physical violence if they protested against his rally. Additionally, this threat may stop people from exercising their right to freedom of speech. Trump feels because we have freedom of speech in our Country he is entitled to hold his rally. However, if we want to protest the rally, he wants to deny us the same access to the rights he has as a citizen. How do we tell teens not to bully or intimidate other people, when the President is allowed to do it daily without any consequences?
Another example of the President’s disregard for the law and disrespect for people came this week when the Supreme Court decided he could not deny transexual employees their legal rights as employees. Regardless of their sexual orientation, they were protected by the same laws as everyone else. Also the Supreme Court decided he did not follow the law appropriately when he tried to end the DACA program. Again the Supreme Court states our Country has laws and the President must obey the laws. However, by what and how he treated these two groups of people, he demonstrated to teenagers you don’t have to follow the laws, if you are the boss. Thankfully, the Supreme Court sent a message that everyone must follow the laws including the President.
Some people may say I’m making a big deal over nothing and teenagers don’t care about anything Trump may do. As a psychotherapist who specializes in treating teenagers, I can tell you that you are wrong. I have many teenagers ask me why is the President allowed to be insulting on Twitter or use sexual or racial slurs or make fun of people with disabilities. They say it makes no sense because if they did anything like Trump does on Twitter, they could be asked to leave their school for inappropriate conduct. They feel the double standard is unfair.
I also have teens who are using racial slurs or insulting people daily and when I point out that their behavior is inappropriate, they tell me it’s not because the President does the same things and worse. They are right about Trump’s behavior. Therefore, how do I dispute their point?Explain there are two set of laws in our Country. One set for every day citizens and another set for white billionaires. No teenagers will accept that excuse nor could I bring myself to say that to them.
Finally, Trump has forgotten how are Country was formed. The United States has always been referred to as the great America melting pot. Meaning we accept people of all colors, creeds and sexual orientations and by all of us working together and respecting what we bring to the United States that we were building a Country for everyone. However, the last couple of weeks show that Trump does not appear to believe in this concept. His campaign adds use racist symbols and statements. His White House will not acknowledge there is institutional racism in the United States. In fact, when asked they deny it and state it does not exist. How can we expect teenagers not to think sexist and racist behavior is okay when the White House supports sexist and racist attitudes in their statements and actions?
Finally, when will the adults in our Country stand up and say enough is enough? Our children deserve better, but if we allow Trump to continue to be an egotistical, sexist, bigot with no empathy for other people, what are we doing to our children? What are we telling girls or children with disabilities about their worth as people? What are we teaching are children about how to treat some one who is black, hispanic or has different religious beliefs than their’s? We are basically telling children the values used to create the United States are no longer relevant. You only are important and have rights if you are white and your family has a great deal of money. Basically the Constitution is dead if we allow Trump to continue as he is acting now.
Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers from all ethnic, religious and financial backgrounds. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website at http://www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at http://www.Facebook.com/drrubino3.