This year has taught us many lessons. It has taught us that people we love may die unexpectedly and without us having a chance to say goodbye. We have had over 225,000 moms, fathers, sons, daughters, spouses, grandparents and friends die from the Coronavirus this year (CDC). The public health experts are estimating this number may significantly increase before the end of the year. Most of these people died without family present and without their family having a chance to say goodbye.

This is not where it ends. Every year 5,000 teenagers are killed in motor vehicle accidents and 400,000 are injured (CDC statistics). These injures may range from cuts and bruises to someone being paralyzed. Also this year there has been a significant increase in the number of teenagers dying due to suicide (the second leading cause of death) and accidental drug overdoses. Again many of these teens died without being able to say goodbye to their families and their families never had a chance to say goodbye.

The Holiday Season is here and one of the main points of the Holidays is family. It is a time to express to each other how much that we love and care about each other. However, as this year has taught us, we don’t always get the chance to really express how much we care because we are caught up in our everyday lives. As a psychotherapist who specializes in treating teenagers, I have seen this happen to parents and teenagers. I have seen unexpected deaths and the grieving person very upset because they never had a chance to say how much they loved the person.

A mother experienced this fact when her son committed suicide. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for teenagers. After that she wrote the following poem to her son. She also encouraged all parents of teenagers to remember to say “I love you,” to your teenager. You may not get another chance. Given the fact that we are dealing with a deadly virus which is out of control and many teenagers have car accidents during this time of year, I thought it was appropriate to run her poem.

I Love You

How could you?

They asked you,

How could you?

But you could not answer

As you were not here.

Why would you?

They asked you,

Why would you?

But their questions fell onto

The world’s deafest ears.

I loved you!

They told you,

I loved you.

But they told you too late,

Through their tears.

I’ll miss you,

They told you,

I’ll miss you.

And in death now

They hold you more dear.

The point is don’t take the risk. Since you never know what may happen and many teens feel that their parents don’t care, take the opportunity while you have it to express your feelings. Don’t spend the rest of your life regretting I never told him I loved him or wondering if that would have made the difference.

Dr. Rubino is a psychotherapist is Pleasant Hill who specializes in treating children and teenagers. He has over 20 years of working with teens. To find out more about his work or to contact him visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple or Audible.

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