Having A Safe Halloween

Having A Safe Halloween

Halloween is a holiday most children look forward to every year. However this year Halloween is not something many children are expecting to celebrate because of the pandemic. However, given the fact they have lived through quarantine and having to go to school remotely and many have lost loved ones to the Coronavirus, we should try to help make the holidays fun for them.

This person has ideas so children can celebrate Halloween safety. Parents may want to read the article and try these ideas regarding Halloween. How can we do Halloween safely during Covid-19?
https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/26/health/halloween-safety-covid-19-wellness/index.html

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information regarding Dr. Rubino’s work visit his website at http://www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at http://www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple

Teenagers Texting during the Pandemic

Teenagers Texting during the Pandemic

In today’s world texting has become a very common way for people to communicate with each other, especially for teenagers. Before the Coronavirus, when I would go to a baseball game or the theater, I would see adults texting the entire time. I have even seen people fired via text. We also have a President who makes major announcements via Twitter. His actions make teenagers feel Texting is normal. Additionally, it’s no surprise teenagers today feel texting is the normal way to communicate because they grew up with it. Any teenager today is part of what I refer to as the IPhone generation. Since these kids were born there have been Smartphones that they have been using. Therefore, texting or having instant access to information via the internet is normal to them. They never have seen an encyclopedia or a card catalog at a library. The teenagers I currently see for psychotherapy, use texting as their primary way of communicating with each other. Besides texting by Smartphones, teenagers also now text each other as they play video games oline. Try removing a teenager’s Smartphone or gaming console so they cannot text, many teens become very upset and some even become violent. Additionally many parents don’t feel texting is really communicating, however adults need to pay attention to how often they text people.

While technology is advancing at a fast pace, our laws and ethics are having a difficult time keeping up with the latest advances. However, when laws are passed or ethical standards set, many teenagers and adults are not aware of the new laws. This is creating a tremendous problem for teenagers and their families. I have worked with many teenagers who are struggling with an issue, such as being accused of threatening someone via text, but they had no idea they were doing anything inappropriate.

Additionally now we have the Coronavirus pandemic and teenagers are having to attend school remotely and are not able to hang out with friends like they did before the pandemic. Therefore, for many teenagers texting has become their lifeline helping them stay in touch with their friends. Again these teenagers have grown up with texting so it’s normal to communicate via text. Many parents don’t understand how texting is the same as talking to another person. However, remember when you were in High School most teenagers spent hours on the telephone because we couldn’t text.

Something that it is important for teenagers to remember is that any time you post something online, tweet or text, it is on the internet forever. Some teens will say when they text it’s just from phone to phone. However, it remains on the phone forever and also on the server that provides your cellphone service. In other words, someone can get your text history from Verizon. This is why many celebrities have won very large monetary judgements against people who have posted false or embarrassing material on the internet. You can remove it from the site it was posted to, but it still can found on other sites. Therefore, if a teenager post something, they need to think about the fact that it will be out there forever and anyone can see it. This may lead to embarrassing situations.

Most teens worry about their grades and after school activities because they do not want to wreck their chance of getting into the University of their choice. However, many teenagers are not aware that many colleges check social media sites and the internet when they apply. The schools search for the applicant’s sites but also search to see if the applicant is on friend’s sites. They look at your pictures and opinions and decide do they feel they want you representing their school to the world. They can get your text history depending on how closely they choose to examine your background.

Let’s consider the most common problems that teenagers encounter with texting. The first one is texting sexually explicit photographs to their boyfriend/girlfriend. At the time they think it is no big deal. However, high school romances typically do not last. If one of the individuals feels hurt, they can post that sexually explicit picture all over the Internet. It can be sent to their families and friends. In fact, their entire school could see it. This would be extremely embarrassing. Even if the person who posted the picture is punished, the picture is still out there and the damage is done.

Additionally, teenagers fail to think about the fact that they are under 18 years old. Therefore, they are violating child pornography laws by texting the picture or by receiving it and having a copy on their cellphone. In fact, Congress is trying to pass stricter laws regarding teenagers texting sexually explicit picture. Therefore, besides being very embarrassed, the teenagers involved might find themselves facing legal charges for violating child pornography laws.

The second major issue is harassment. Friends get mad at each other or often one teenager is singled out and they become the object of numerous texts telling them they are ugly, no one likes them etc. These texts can be sent so often and by some many other teenagers that the teen who is the target commits suicide. There are numerous examples of this and a common one is accusing a teenager of being gay. This is not harmless teenage game playing. This harassment can be vicious. They are also cases where the teenagers sending these texts have been charged with stalking or more serious charges if the teenager committed suicide.

When this occurs, the teenagers are shocked. They think they were just teasing another kid and it was harmless. They have no idea what this teenager is already dealing with in their life or what it can be like to have numerous classmates texting you every day all day long. It is not harmless teasing, but because technology has increased so quickly it is not the same teasing that use to occur at school. We have not had enough time to think about this point.

Another major issue is that texting is an excellent way for schools or police to arrest teenagers for dealing drugs, buying or using drugs. I have worked with many teenagers from numerous schools where the school catches someone using or selling marijuana on school grounds. The school then checks the student’s cellphone and looks at the text history. The school then starts calling in the student’s on the text history and asking about drug use or selling. One teenager getting caught at school can result in ten teenagers being expelled. The teenagers are usually in shock. First, they never thought they were doing anything wrong and they never thought a text could get them in trouble. However, it can and it does. I have seen many teenagers for psychotherapy because of a text found by the school.

Finally, new research is showing that texting is increasing the rate of depression in teenagers. Texting creates more access in some ways, however, it is isolating too. When you text you lose the personal interaction which is very important. People do need personal interaction for their mental health. When teenagers text they miss out on the personal interaction. This can and does at times lead to a lonely feeling. If a teenager is already having a hard time and then they experience of feeling isolated too, this can lead to depression. Research is showing an increase in teenage depression and I am seeing an increase in the number of teenagers I am seeing for depression. Therefore, we need to take a closer look at teenagers and texting.

So we are facing a difficult situation. Teenagers today tend to use texting as their primary way of communication. Given the pandemic we are dealing with at this time it makes sense for them to text each other. However, our ethics have not kept up with technology and there are a number of ways teenagers can get into trouble texting. Additionally, research indicates that texting can increase the feelings of isolation and depression in teenagers. Feeling many teenagers and trying to avoid during the Coronavirus pandemic. One way they feel that helps them is texting friends. However, this maybe incorrect according to the research. Therefore, parents are facing a difficult situation when it comes to their teenagers texting each other.

At this point, my professional opinion is that parents sit down with their teenagers and discuss the pros and cons about texting and that parents limit texting to an hour everyday. Additionally, you may want to set up an agreement where your teenager allows you to monitor their texting in away that is comfortable for you and your teenager. Remember to be patient during this conversation because everyone is dealing with stress due to the pandemic.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with 20 years of experience working with children and teenagers. He also treats Internet addiction. For more information on Dr. Rubino’s work or his private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

Dealing with Pandemic Fatigue

Dealing with Pandemic Fatigue

I am hearing more and more children are teenagers complain about they are tired of the pandemic and they want their lives to return to normal. They don’t want to wear a mask anymore and they want to play with their friends. I am also hearing parents also comment about being tired of the Coronavirus pandemic and wondering when our lives will return to normal. We have been dealing with quarantine issues since March so it is understandable that people are getting tired of the pandemic. However, when you look at our current numbers and we are entering the flu season in addition, this is not a time to get tired and give up.

Currently over 215,000 Americans have died from the Coronavirus. Additionally a majority of the states are reporting an increase in the number of Coronavirus cases. The United States is currently reporting 50,000 new cases daily (CDC). This is an increase since August when the number was 40,000 new cases daily still to high. Dr. Fauci and the University of Washington both predict if we continue on our current course another 20,000 Americans will die over the next two weeks and by the end of the year over 400,000 Americans will have died from the Coronavirus pandemic. If you look at these numbers that is a lot of people who are expected to die by December 31, 2020. The Coronavirus will become the second leading cause of death in the United States for the year 2020 (CDC)

If we take a moment and think about that 400,000 number, we can think about who it really represents. If we look at it just as a number it does not mean a lot to most people. However, when we examine the number and who it represents, people start to change their attitudes. This 400,000 represents your parents, your grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, best friends, spouses, coworkers and maybe even your grandchildren, your children and maybe even you. Looking at the number this way, are you prepared to lose multiple members of your family over the next 3 months? You would be losing them during the Holiday Season and since the virus is highly contagious you would not be with them as they die in the hospital. In other words, your loved one will die alone in ICU and you will not be able to have traditional funeral services due to the limitations on how many people can be together at one time. You may even lose multiple family members in one day or the same week. Many people have lost both parents and a spouse within one week (CDC). This is not uncommon and how does a person cope with all that grief at one time?

Part of what is contributing to the Coronavirus fatigue are the conflicting messages we are getting from the White House. The President’s statement that we are rounding the corner is false. When we are reporting 50,000 new cases daily we are in the middle of a pandemic. The vaccine will not be ready until at least April, 2021 and then we don’t know how effective the vaccine will be (CDC, John Hopkins University). The other confusing statement the President continues to promote is that masks and social distancing are not necessary. However at his campaign event is Tulsa without masks and distancing a number of the President’s staff developed the virus and his friend, who started Godfather pizza, developed the virus and died. When the President announced his nomination to the Supreme Court in the Rose Garden, 10 people contracted the virus in addition to the President and the First Lady. Dr. Fauci and other public health experts called the Rose Garden ceremony a super spreader event. The former governor of New Jersey issued a statement saying he was wrong not wearing a mask at the Rose Garden ceremony and he was wrong not to wear a mask while he prepared the President for the debate. The former governor finally stated masks are necessary.

As a way to avoid the Pandemic fatigue we need to ignore what the White House and the President are stating about the Coronavirus. His statements have no basis in fact or reality. As a result, they are confusing and add to our fatigue. We need to listen to Dr. Fauci and the other public health experts. They are not running for political office and have no reason to lie to the public. After all, they are public health experts and have studied their entire lives to help people in situations like a pandemic. Their recommendations are if we continue to wear masks and continue to social distance, we can reduce the amount of people who will die and we can get the virus under control. The more we get the virus under control the sooner we can start to resume some normal activities. However, it is going to take time and we must keep this in mind as we go through each day.

Parents I understand it’s hard when your teenagers are demanding more freedom and you must keep saying no. The best and only option is to be honest with your children and teenagers. Acknowledge their frustration and desire to return to normal. However, you must explain like it or not that masks and social distancing will help all of you get closer to normal again. Since we are still having people come down with the Coronavirus at a significant rate, it’s essential that we abide by the guidelines specified by the public health experts. If we give up now, we will make the quarantine situations last longer. We need to try and look at the situation that the more we comply with the guidelines the closer we get back to normal. In the meantime, every once in a while plan something special for your child keeping in mind the guidelines so you can keep them safe. For example, allow teenagers to hang out with a friend as long as they wear their masks and keep appropriate social distance. This can help your children and teenagers deal with the fatigue. Since we do not know how long this will last, we need to be honest about that fact. This again will help you and your family survive the Coronavirus fatigue. We must remember to take it a day at a time and find ways to destress when possible. If we all work together and respect each other, we can survive the Coronavirus pandemic.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information regarding Dr. Rubino’s work or his private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or on Apple.

Coronavirus grief and the Holidays

Coronavirus grief and the Holidays

With over 214,000 people dying from the Coronavirus we will have over 800,000 grieving during the Holidays. Also it will be a very difficult Holiday season due to massive grief. This podcast explores the crisis kids will be facing during the Holidays. It also looks at how do we provide support for all these people https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/understanding-todays-teenagers/id1524401800?i=1000494569381

Teenage Cutting Increases due to the Pandemic

Teenage Cutting Increases due to the Pandemic

Last year when I was guest co-hosting the Street Soldier radio show on 106.1 KMEL, the topic was how teenagers are impacted by social media. The topic of depression and cutting came up during the conversation. The adults were shocked to hear about cutting and the teens tended to feel the cutting was more of an issue for the girls. However, as a psychotherapist who works with teenagers, I have observed the increase in teenage cutting over the years. I have also observed that a behavior that once was believed to occur mainly in girls is also occurring in teenage boys too. From what I have seen it appears that just as many boys are cutting as girls. I mentioned when I was co-hosting last year before the Coronavirus. Since the Coronavirus pandemic and quarantine the number of teenagers cutting has significantly increased (CDC).

The first question I often receive when I mention cutting is, what is it? Cutting is any behavior that a person engages in with the goal of self-mutilating. Teenagers cut with razors, knifes, paper clips, staples, using erasers or even scratching themselves. These are just a few ways teenagers have found to self-mutilate themselves. Since this is an activity associated with a great deal of guilt and shame, I am sure there are more ways that we have not learned about yet.

Also because cutting is associated with a great deal of guilt and shame our statistics on how many teenagers cut are not entirely accurate. Most recent studies indicate that approximately a third of all teenagers have tried cutting or actively cutting (CDC). If you noticed the research shows a third of all teenagers, which means boys too. I am seeing cutting become more popular with teenagers especially with boys who say they are cutting, have cut or are thinking about it. Therefore, cutting not only occurs in girls but it is occurring in boys too. We need to be aware of the fact that cutting is becoming more popular with teenagers. It is important because cutting can lead to accidental suicide attempts if an artery is cut or permanent damage if nerves in the arm or legs are severely cut. These are things that teenagers and parents don’t think about.

Why do teenagers cut? The reasons I commonly hear is it is easier to deal with the physical pain than the emotional pain they are feeling. Teens who are severally depressed state that cutting reminds them they are alive. They are so depressed that they feel nothing, but when they cut they feel. Also teenagers cut as a way to punish themselves because they are ashamed about something they did or they feel they have let their parents down. Cutting is a way for teenagers to deal with the guilt and shame they are experiencing. It is also a way that they can feel in control of life when their life feels or the world feels out of control or overwhelming.

Since the Coronavirus pandemic many teenagers are feeling overwhelmed and powerless. They also see very little hope for things to improve. As a result, many more teenagers have started cutting since the beginning of the pandemic. It is a way teenagers can try to cope with feeling overwhelmed and powerless due to the pandemic. I have had more teenagers reporting incidents of cutting and more friends who are cutting since the beginning of the pandemic and as the pandemic continues.

If we look at how boys are raised, cutting is a good fit for boys. Most boys grow up learning that boys can’t cry and if you express feelings of sadness or disappointment you are weak. Teenage boys are always supposed to look like life is perfect and they can handle anything without help. Cutting allows them to express sadness, fear or embarrassment in private. No one knows they are cutting or how they are feeling. Unfortunately, this leads to a vicious circle where emotions can get out of control and a boy may end up doing something he never indented to do. The number of boys cutting has increased due to the pandemic because they feel overwhelmed and out of control. There is nothing they can do about the Coronavirus and how their lives have changed due to the Coronavirus.

At this point, most people working with teenagers consider cutting an epidemic. In fact, the CDC does consider teenage cutting to be an epidemic. Additionally, the little research we have about this behavior supports this idea, but we are unable to determine how severe the epidemic is in teenagers. When I mention cutting to a teenager now, they don’t look shocked. Instead they talk about it like we are talking about the weather. They often tell me about friends who are cutting too. Most teens who cut have friends that cut. Most teenage boys who have girlfriends tend to have girlfriends who cut too. As I stated above, the number of teenagers cutting has increased significantly since the Coronavirus pandemic because many teenagers are feeling helpless and overwhelmed by life. No one alive has ever dealt with a pandemic so teenagers feel helpless and hopeless about life. This has been my experience.

Cutting can be a very dangerous behavior and does need to be treated with psychotherapy. If you feel your teen may be cutting, talk to them in an understanding manner. Do not give them any reason to feel guilty or ashamed if they say yes. As I stated above, the teen already feels a great deal of shame and if they feel they will be looked at in a shameful manner or that you will be shocked they will never open up to you. You need to reassure them you love them and you only care about their safety.

I said it needs to be treated with psychotherapy. Find a psychotherapist who specializes in treating teenagers and in treating self-mutilating behavior. If you have to go to someone who is doing teletherapy due to the pandemic that is fine. This is very important because if the therapist acts negatively or shocked, the teenager will shut down and therapy may not work with any other therapist because the teenager now assumes everyone is judging them. I have had teens test me in various ways because of what a previous therapist said about their behavior or what the therapist said to their parents. They need to feel safe and accepted by their therapist if therapy is going to work.

I have included some risk factors and warning signs for you to be aware of in case you think your teen might be cutting:

Risk Factors

Knowledge that friends or acquaintances are cutting

Difficulty expressing feelings

Extreme emotional reactions to minor occurrences (anger or sorrow)

Stressful family events (divorce, death, conflict)

Loss of a friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, or social status

Negative body image

Lack of coping skills

Depression

Warning Signs

Wearing long sleeves during warm weather

Wearing thick wristbands that are never removed

Unexplained marks on body

Secretive or elusive behavior

Spending lengthy periods of time alone

Items that could be used for cutting (knives, scissors, safety pins, razors) are missing.

While this is a scary subject, I have worked with many teens who have overcome this issue. The important thing is as parents you are accepting and non judgmental. Also you need to be aware that this issue does exist. My last point is that boys cut too. Girls are not the only teenagers engaging in this behavior.

Dr. Michael Rubino has over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. He has treated many teenagers who cut and is considered an expert in this area. For more information regarding Dr. Rubino visit his websites www.rcs-ca.com , www.RubinoCounseling.com , or his Facebook page, http://www.Facebook.com/Drrubino3

Teenagers want Parents to Listen

Teenagers want Parents to Listen

Many teenagers report being frustrated with their parents because they feel that their parents do not listen to them. Honestly, they are probably right at times. Most people have poor listening skills. These are not skills we are taught in school or at home. Most people tend to be focusing on how they are going to respond to the person talking rather than completely listening to the other person.

Since this is a common issue, what happens when children and teenagers feel that their parents are not really listening to them? What teenagers have told me is that they feel angry and that their parent does not care about their feelings. When teenagers have these feelings they tend to stop talking to their parents and to act out. When they feel that their parents don’t care, they feel like they have permission to do whatever they want and at times they act out using drugs or not going to school as a way to get their parents attention.

Teenagers may act like they know everything and that they are not afraid of anything or confused about what to do, but this is only an act. They do not know how to handle everything and often feel overwhelmed by life choices. As a result they turn to their parents. However, if their parents are not fully listening they feel hurt and rejected. As teenagers their communication skills and reasoning skills are not fully developed. Therefore, they don’t know how to let their parents know they feel hurt and rejected. They also do not know how to let you know that they feel you are not listening and they need your help. Most teenagers feel saying they need their parents as a sign of weakness. This is because they are not fully mature and they are still children and they need their parents.

For many parents this may come as a shock. It comes as a shock because of how teenagers tend to react to their parents. Again, because teenagers are not fully mature they tend to act like they know everything and don’t need their parents. However, as I stated above teenagers do need and want their parents support. However, due to their immaturity, teenagers act like they don’t need their parents. However, parents need to understand that teenagers are not fully mature yet and their actions do not always match how they are feeling.

With this being said, it is very important that parents listen to their teenagers. However, since communication skills are a problem for most people especially listening skills, I have provided a list of listening skills that parents may want to try. Remember these skills don’t come naturally to most people so it will take a while for you to improve your skills. Also since teenagers can be confusing at times it makes listening even harder at times. In addition to these skills, if you are listening to your teenager, but you are still confused try asking a clarification question. Repeat back what you thought you heard and ask your teenager if you heard them correctly. This shows you are listening, you care and you want to focus on their concerns. This is exactly what teenagers are wanting from you. Here are the skills you may want to try:

1)  Purposefully strive to focus on listening with an open mind, refrain from jumping to conclusions or forming an opinion while your child is talking.

2)  Do not hurry them, listening requires patience.  Wait for your child’s thoughts to take shape  and give time for the words to form and find expression.

3)  Always show respect and courtesy in listening to what your child has to say, no matter how much you may disagree with them.

4)  Your own body language is important, make eye contact and always provide your attentive and undivided attention.

5)  Don’t be thinking about how you will respond as this will take your concentration away from what they are really saying.

6)  Exercise awareness of your child’s nonverbal cues, facial expression, tone of voice, body stance, general mood and attitude.

7)  Don’t interrupt, hear them out and wait for the appropriate opportunity to ask questions.

8)  Always remain calm when listening and never show your personal feelings of anger or disappointment.

9)  Think of listening as personal growth as your children will always have something to say which will help you to grow.

10) Practice active listening with your heart to genuinely empathize with your child. Put yourself in their shoes to genuinely understand their feelings and emotions.

Remember this will take time and effort. However, by trying you are improving your relationship with your teenager and this is a tremendous benefit to you and your teenager if you can improve your relationship. Teenagers are facing a great deal of confusing and dangerous situations in today’s world and they need their parents now more than ever.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information about Dr. Rubino’s work or private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

Celebrating Halloween during the Pandemic

Celebrating Halloween during the Pandemic

In about a month it will be Halloween. This is a holiday that many children look forward to every year. However, this year most children will be missing Halloween due to the Coronavirus pandemic. Many states are reporting an increase in Coronavirus cases and the flu season is beginning too. Therefore, it is not medically safe for children to be trick or treating this year. The major problem is most of these children have missed their birthdays, playing with their friends, summer vacation and now they are having to go to school remotely. As a result, main children are feeling depressed and do not want to participate in school.

With everything these children have been through, hopefully we can find some safe, fun ways for them to celebrate Halloween. One possible option is, as a family, you can let your children pick out their costumes and since Halloween is on a Saturday this year, let them wear these costumes all day. Additionally as a family you can pick out scary movies to watch all day and night and treats they can have for the day. You can also carve pumpkins and prepare a special Halloween dinner. If you google Halloween recipes, you will find a number of dishes that have a Halloween theme. This may not be the same as trick or treating but it can be a fun time for the entire family.

Another possibility is to arrange trick or treating with your family and family friends. You can arrange that with family members and friends that are taking appropriate precautions such as wearing masks and social distancing so they are not likely to have the Coronavirus that you can stop by their homes and trick or treat. This way your children do get to trick or treat but at least you are trying to do it in the safest manner possible. Obviously, your children would need to wear masks and being feeling well. If they had a runny nose or a slight fever, you would need to keep them home. However, this occurs every year, if at the last minute a child is looking or acting ill, you need to keep them home. Obviously, your family and friends would be wearing masks when you went to their houses and if they were feeling sick they would let you know before you left your house so you would know to skip their house.

Another option would be if your city or church has a community center. You can have people who volunteer to pass out candy on Halloween at the hall. All the volunteers would wear masks and their temperatures would have been taken to keep it as safe as possible. You could schedule 10 children at a time to go through the hall and trick or treat. Again, the children will need to be wearing masks and have had their temperatures taken. This way you are making it safe for the children and volunteers. You would need a schedule so you would not have too many children in the same space at the same time. Yes this will take a fair amount of work. However, it will allow children to celebrate a holiday specifically for children and they have a chance to act like children and forget the pandemic for a night. This would be a tremendous gift to children who have missed a lot of their childhood due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Some people may be tempted to say just forget the pandemic and let the children celebrate Halloween like they usually do. However, the research does document that children can and do contract the Coronavirus. The research also shows that children do need to be hospitalized due to the Coronavirus. The research shows that 1out of 3 children who are hospitalized will end up in the ICU. Finally the research numbers show children will and have died due to the Coronavirus. However, an additional complication during this time of the year is it is flu season too. It is possible for a child to have the flu and Coronavirus at the same time. Therefore, we cannot treat this like any other year and we need to brainstorm how children can celebrate Halloween safety.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information about Dr. Rubino’s work or his private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

Children’s Right to Psychotherapy is at Serious Risk

Children’s Right to Psychotherapy is at Serious Risk

Parents our elections are coming up and it is very important that you vote and call your Senators regarding health care. Currently President Trump has several suits in the Courts to eliminate the Affordable Care Act and pre-existing conditions. Yes he signed an Executive Order, but insurance companies do not have to comply with the Order. The Executive Order are only recommendations so insurance companies can and will ignore it. I have been a psychotherapist for over 20 years and I have seen how the Affordable Care Act has benefited thousands of people. Before we had it, many people were denied or could not afford psychotherapy.

Before the ACA, if you had ever taken antidepressants, your insurance could deny to cover psychotherapy for you or require you to pay a very high copayment. I saw this happen many times to patients I was treating prior to the ACA. Depression and anxiety are considered pre-existing conditions. Also in your insurance contact there is a standard clause that if the insurance company wants to see all your medical records you cannot stop them. I had insurance companies make these requests and I checked with numerous attorneys and the answer always was the same. The way the insurance writes their contract, you cannot stop them from getting all your records from the day you were born. If you refuse, they can terminate your insurance coverage. Insurance companies typically will ask for all your records because if you had psychotherapy as a teenager that is a pre-existing condition. Therefore, they can deny to cover your psychotherapy. They could even terminate your health insurance all together.

What if you have children? If you have a child with Autism, ADHD or if they were ever suicidal, your child will not be able to get insurance coverage or the psychotherapy they desperately need. Before the ACA I had many families in this exact situation. Many would automatically terminate therapy. Research now shows if children with these issues receive therapy when they are very young we can improve the outcome for them as adults. However, without the ACA, insurance companies specify these issues as pre-existing conditions and therefore the child is not entitled to psychotherapy. I often provided psychotherapy to these families at a fee they could afford. However, not every therapist can afford to lower their fees and I can only do it for a certain number of families because it cost money to run a business.

This election and these cases before the Courts could have disastrous effects on you and your children if the pre-existing clause is eliminated. The President has stated he will protect the clause, but his actions indicate he will eliminate it if he can. If this clause is eliminated anyone who has dealt with depression or ADHD will not be able to get insurance or if they can the rate will be very high. Remember if the clause is eliminated it will not just stop you or your child from receiving therapy it will also stop you from receiving medical care. So if you develop long haul syndrome after having the Coronavirus, you will not be able to get insurance coverage. The Coronavirus is a pre-existing condition. Another fact is that 1 out of 5 children meet the criteria for a diagnosable mental health issue (CDC). This means 1 out of 5 children have a pre-existing condition. So parents please vote and call Senators and save the pre-existing condition clause. Please do not trust President Trump to do it.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers for more information about Dr. Rubino visit his website at http://www.RubinoCounseling.com

Mental Health Crisis Created by the Coronavirus

Mental Health Crisis Created by the Coronavirus

We have a major mental health crisis coming our way and we are not prepared. Before the Coronavirus pandemic one out of five teenagers met the criteria for a mental health diagnosis and needed psychotherapy (CDC). In addition depression, anxiety and cutting were at epidemic rates for teenagers (CDC). To make matters worse, suicide had been the third leading cause of death for teenagers prior to the pandemic and has been moved from the third to the second leading cause of death for teenagers (CDC). Additionally, African-American teenagers were committing suicide at five times the rate of Caucasian teenagers (CDC). This means prior to the pandemic, we had many teenagers dying due to suicide and the rate has been increasing every year for the past ten years (CDC). In 2018 over 6200 teenagers between 10-18 committed suicide (CDC). If the number of teenagers committing suicide is increasing every year significantly, then how many teenagers committed suicide last year? How many teenagers will attempt or commit suicide this year?

Here are the statistics for teenage mental health prior to the pandemic. We know since the pandemic the number of teenagers reporting depression and anxiety have significantly increased and so have the number of teenage suicides and death due to drug overdoses have increased since the pandemic. I have seen a significant increase in patients calling my office for psychotherapy for their teenagers and children. How are we going to provide all these children and teenagers with psychotherapy? Additionally, many parents are having to stop their child’s psychotherapy because they can no longer afford the copayments. Many parents have lost their jobs or have had their hours cut which reduces their monthly income. Therefore, many parents are having to choose between paying rent and buying food or their child’s therapy. I am willing to make accommodations so the children and teenagers I treat can stay in therapy, however many therapists will not make accommodations. So what happens to all these children who need therapy because the pandemic has exacerbated their mental health issues? Why should parents have to decide between food on the table or therapy for their depressed teenager?

Another fact we cannot overlook is that this week we reached the point where 200,000 Americans have died due to the Coronavirus. This means there are 200,000 families who are grieving. Many children have lost parents and grandparents. Many parents have lost their parents and have lost their child too. The Coronavirus does and has killed children. How do we provide grief counseling to all of the grieving families and friends? With a record number of people out of work order besides finding therapists to help all these family members, how do you provide therapy at an affordable price? If you have a family of four that needs therapy, the monthly cost for therapy will be very expensive. Again people are having to choose between food for the family or therapy for the family.

Another factor impacting the mental health of children and parents is school. Because the President refuses to issue a national mandate regarding masks, children and teenagers are having to attend school remotely. Fourth percent of the parents in our Country have had to adjust their work schedules so there is someone at home to help the children. This has resulted in many parents having to reduce their pay. Again making it difficult to pay the rent and afford food. Additionally, many children and teenagers are becoming very frustrated because the remote learning is not well coordinated and they want to give up on school. This is adding more stress to families who are already over stressed. They are needing psychotherapy to help them, but they cannot afford therapy. Again what are we going to do to help these families?

One final point for this article, we hear that people have and do recover after being diagnosed with the Coronavirus. This is true, however, we have now learned something new about this new virus. A number of people who recover go on to develop what is being to referred to as “long haul syndrome.” People who develop this syndrome have heart palpitations, neurological problems, losing their hair and a condition referred to a brain fog. At this point no one knows how long it will last and who will develop it. It also is creating mental health issues such as depression. These people and their families will require therapy too. Again, how do we provide affordable therapy to these people? Since there is a negative stigma about mental health, we do not have enough therapists in the United States to treat all these people. Right now of course we are looking for a cure to the virus but we have not been paying attention to the collateral damage this virus has caused and how are we going to cope with it. Mental health is a major area, but we have not been paying attention to the mental health issues created by this virus and how are we going to address the mental health needs of the United States.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

An Important Role Model for All Teenagers

An Important Role Model for All Teenagers

On Friday, September 18, 2020, we lost an American legend and a person who taught all of us some very important lessons. The person we lost was Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg at the age of 87. While the politicians are arguing about who and how her place on the Supreme Court will be filled, let us take sometime to look at her legacy and honor what she has done for the United States. She fought for the rights for many people and groups who were discriminated against due to the law. She truly worked and devoted her life to make our Country “a more perfect Union.” Additionally, she is and excellent role model for teenagers. Yes she is a role model for teenage girls, but she is also an excellent role model for teenage boys too. Let’s take a moment to look at the lessons she taught teenagers and how teenagers can use the lessons she provided.

Justice Bader Ginsberg personally faced discrimination and negative stereotypes and she learned first hand how they were unfair to the person but also how the stereotypes and discrimination hurt our nation too. Justice Bader Ginsberg had three strikes against her. She was a woman, she was Jewish and she was a mother. Here are two examples of the discrimination and negative stereotypes she faced during her life. She lived in Nebraska with her husband and she was working for the United States Social Security office in Nebraska. When she had her first child she was demoted and received a pay cut because women with children should not be working. Another example is after she was accepted to Harvard University. A professor called her aside and asked her to justify why she should be at Harvard and deny a man from attending Harvard. She did not allow these acts of discrimination to stop her. She understood why she was facing the discrimination and she would not let the discrimination stop her from moving forward with her life and the discrimination did not stop her from fighting against it and other inequalities many people faced.

After Justice Bader Ginsberg finished her law education and she graduated tied for first place at Cornell University, she was unable to get a job at a law firm because she was a woman, Jewish and a mother. Married Jewish women were not supposed to be attorneys. They were suppose to stay at home and raise a family. Again the discrimination would not stop her from fulfilling her life’s dream and her potential. She became an attorney for the ACLU and started to challenge discrimination and prejudice legally. She also had a husband, Marty Ginsberg, who supported her. He was an attorney too, but he believed that his wife had the right to be an attorney too and encouraged her to continue.

She did continue and people started to notice her talent and she started to change barriers. She took on discrimination against women, discrimination against voting rights for minorities and discrimination against people with disabilities. Her talent was recognized by President Carter who appointed her to be a Federal Judge and then President Obama appointed her to the Supreme Court. She over came the fact that she was a woman, Jewish and a mother. She made the world better for herself and for thousands of American citizens.

In addition to all the discrimination she faced, she also faced numerous bouts of being diagnosed with cancer. Many people may have retired after their first diagnosis, but not Justice Bader Ginsberg. She continued to work through chemotherapy, radiation and surgeries. She did not allow cancer to stop her from fighting for people’s rights. If she was not able to make it to the Court, she participated via conference calls from her home and even from her hospital bed. This is a person with a strong drive and who was not going to let anything get in her way of making our Country “a more perfect Union” for everyone regardless of their gender, race, religion or sexual orientation.

Now that we of an understanding of what she faced and her work, let’s look at the important lessons she taught teenagers. First, she showed that one person can make significant changes in our world. Also her friendship with Justice Scalia (a strong republican) taught us that you can respect and be kind to people with different opinions from you. In fact, you can even be friends with someone who has different opinions or different background from you. This is very important for teenagers to remember that you can be kind and respect people who are different from you or has different beliefs.

Another very important lesson she taught teenagers is not to let someone else’s prejudice or negative stereotype about you to stop you from fulfilling your dreams or to cause you to doubt yourself. If I had listened to people when I graduated from U.C. Berkely, I would have never earned my doctorate degree. I was told when I graduated from U.C. Berkeley that people with physical and neurological disabilities don’t go on to get advanced degrees. I should just be happy getting a job. I ignored the comments and discrimination I faced a long the way and I earned a Master’s degree and my Doctorate degree. I followed Justice Bander Ginsberg example and followed the faith I had in myself and ignored the stereotypes and discrimination. Girls and other teenagers who are belong to a minority, also need to believe in themselves and follow their dreams. Do not let someone else tell you what you can achieve in your life based on their prejudices or stereotypes they hold. Follow the belief you have in yourself and pursue your dreams.

Another lesson Justice Bader Ginsberg taught teenagers is you have an obligation to speak out against injustices and to help other people by helping to eliminate discrimination and negative stereotypes. As our Constitution states, “all men are created equally.” If that statement is going to mean anything then everyone regardless of ethnicity, financial class, gender or religious beliefs need to have the same opportunities as white Americans. Therefore, supporting groups such as Black Lives Matter and other groups addressing the systemic discrimination in our Country is our responsibility. Justice Bader Ginsberg’s life was dedicated to eliminating systemic discrimination and racism. This is why her last request was her successor be named by the winner of the Presidential Election on November 3rd. We can help ensure that the intent of her last wish will be carried out if teenagers speak up and demand that any systemic discrimination or racism they observe is changed.

Justice Bader Ginsberg lived her life showing us that no one has the right to define us as a person and in the United States we are all equal and deserve to be treated equally with kindness and respect. I hear many teenagers telling me they feel the same way when I see them for therapy. Therefore, we can honor this amazing lady by encouraging our teenagers not to allow stereotypes and racism to define them as people. Furthermore, we can honor this amazing lady by encouraging our teenagers to speak up and fight against racism and discrimination they see in our society. Remember Justice Bader Ginsberg’s belief that everyone in the United States deserves to be treated with dignity, respect and kindness regardless of ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, financial class or disability status.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.