Teenagers No Longer Feel they have A Future

Teenagers No Longer Feel they have A Future

Many people may think I am crazy making this statement, but do people realize we are in the middle of a deadly pandemic. Furthermore, the Coronavirus, which is creating the pandemic, has muted and created a new strain. The Delta form of the Coronavirus is even more contagious and far more deadly than the original strain of the Coronavirus. If we have a doubt, look at how the Delta strain in ravaging India. In India they have run out of space for the dead and people are dying in the streets because the hospitals are full. However, for some reason people in the United States are ignoring what is happening in other countries and ignoring the warnings our public health doctors are giving us.

The Fourth of July was supposed to be the reopening of the United States. However, our Country was not sufficiently vaccinated. The public health physicians warned us if more people were not vaccinated, the Delta strain would take over and we would be facing a desperate situation again. The public health physicians and Biden’s administration were not wrong when they were urging everyone to get vaccinated.

Prior to the Fourth the number of infections were decreasing significantly. Now after the Fourth, we have seen a significant increase in the number of people being diagnosed with the Coronavirus and needing to be hospitalized. We are now in a situation again where it is recommended to wear a mask again in public. This is very discouraging especially when we have vaccinations which have proven they can help control the Coronavirus.

Over the last month, 98% of people who have been hospitalized or died from the Coronavirus were not vaccinated. Additionally, the people being infected the most are between 20 to 50 (CDC). People in their 60’s and 70’s are vaccinated and are basically immune to the Coronavirus. However, the former President who has been pushing lies that the vaccines are not safe and healthy people in their 20s and 40s do not need to worry about getting the virus is wrong. The vaccines are safe and anyone can become infected with the Coronavirus virus and die at any age.

This brings me to a very scary situation which has now been created. Children under 12 years old cannot be vaccinated yet. We are having significant outbreaks again in every state and we want children to return to school onsite. Many states such as Texas, Florida and Tennessee are saying children do not need to wear masks and schools do not have to practice social distancing. Viruses mute all the time to find new hosts. This leaves children under 12 years old as prime targets for the Coronavirus.

Do not believe the lies from Trump and Fox News that children rarely get the Coronavirus. The truth is children do get infected with the Coronavirus. Children are also at risk for a very rare side effect from the Coronavirus. Children can develop a condition where their immune system attacks their own body and their internal organs and blood vessels swell. This is a deadly side effect. Since this new spike with the Delta strain has started, children make up 21% of people being diagnosed with the Coronavirus. In one week, 88,500 children and teenagers were diagnosed with the Coronavirus. Additionally, since the pandemic started in the United States, children and teenagers make up 13.6% of those diagnosed with the Coronavirus (AAP, Childrens Hospital Association). Therefore, do not believe the lie that children cannot contract and die from the Coronavirus.

Many people say they are exercising their First amendment right by not getting vaccinated. However, you cannot affect me in the course of exercising your rights. This is why you cannot scream “fire” in a movie theater. We are in the middle of a health crisis. A crisis which has taken over 600,000 American lives. If you want to refuse the vaccines which have proven to work and to be safe, then you need to accept the consequences. If employers require proof of vaccination or your health insurance increases your premium, do not complain. Why should employers suffer if you spread the Coronavirus and why should the rest of us who were responsible and were vaccinated pay for your health bills when you get sick. It’s not fair.

Also what are we doing to teenagers and children. UCLA released a study earlier this year showing people between 40 and 18 had a unhappy outlook on life due to the Coronavirus. Since the pandemic started we have seen a significant increase in depression, anxiety, drug abuse and suicide in teenagers and children as young as 10 years old. They don’t think their lives will ever return to normal again.

When the Country started to open up on the Fourth of July, they had some hope. Now that they are hearing the news regarding the new spike, States such as California requiring masks again and hearing that states such as Texas, Tennessee and Louisiana not following through with the vaccines, they are losing hope.

The teenagers in this generation are intelligent and can access all kind of information via their cellphones. They know if people are going to continue to lie about the vaccines and refuse the vaccines that our Country will never recover. They are also very angry. If teenagers were causing these problems, adults would say they have no rights and tell them what they were going to do. However, when adults, such as Trump and Ted Cruz, want to play political games with the lives of teenagers, people act like their is nothing they can do.

There is something parents can do. Contact your children’s school and demand that they take all necessary precautions needed so your child is not exposed to the Coronavirus. You can contact your employer and demand safety precautions. Listen to the public health physicians and follow their recommendations. Finally, call your State and Federal representatives and Senators and demand they enact laws to keep you and your family safe. Remember children under 12 cannot be vaccinated so they are at the highest risk. Do you want to have to plan their funeral? Are we going to prove them right that there is no hope left. Think about being 11 years old and feeling like your life is over. I am hearing this from many intelligent children.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children, teenagers and trauma victims including first responders. For more information regarding his work visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/Drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify and Apple

Texting the New Way Teenagers Communicate

Texting the New Way Teenagers Communicate

In today’s world texting has become a very common way for people to communicate with each other, especially for teenagers. Before the Coronavirus, when I would go to a baseball game or the theater, I would see adults texting the entire time. I have even seen people fired via text. We also had a President who made major announcements via Twitter. His actions made teenagers feel that Texting is normal. Additionally, it’s no surprise teenagers today feel texting is the normal way to communicate. One reason is because they grew up with it and everyone is texting. Any teenager today is part of what I refer to as the IPhone generation. Since these kids were born there have been Smartphones that they have been using. Therefore, texting or having instant access to information via the internet is normal to them. They never have seen an encyclopedia or a card catalog at a library. The teenagers I currently see for psychotherapy, use texting as their primary way of communicating with each other. Besides texting by Smartphones, teenagers also now text each other as they play video games online. Try removing a teenager’s Smartphone or gaming console so they cannot use them or text, many teens become very upset and some even become violent. Additionally many parents don’t feel texting is really communicating, however adults need to pay attention to how often they text people.

While technology is advancing at a fast pace, our laws and ethics are having a difficult time keeping up with the latest advances. However, when laws are passed or ethical standards set, many teenagers and adults are not aware of the new laws. This is creating a tremendous problem for teenagers and their families. I have worked with many teenagers who are struggling with an issue, such as being accused of threatening someone via text, but they had no idea they were doing anything inappropriate.

Additionally now we have the Coronavirus pandemic and teenagers have been attending school remotely and were not able to hang out with friends like they did before the pandemic. Therefore, for many teenagers texting has become their lifeline helping them stay in touch with their friends. Again these teenagers have grown up with texting so it’s normal to communicate via text. Many parents don’t understand how texting is the same as talking to another person. However, remember when you were in High School most teenagers spent hours on the telephone because we couldn’t text.

Something that it is important for teenagers to remember is that any time you post something online, tweet or text, it is on the internet forever. Some teens will say when they text it’s just from phone to phone. However, it remains on the phone forever and also on the server that provides your cellphone service. In other words, someone can get your text history from Verizon. This is why many celebrities have won very large monetary judgements against people who have posted false or embarrassing material on the internet. You can remove it from the site it was posted to, but it still can found on other sites. Therefore, if a teenager post something, they need to think about the fact that it will be out there forever and anyone can see it. This may lead to embarrassing situations.

Most teens worry about their grades and after school activities because they do not want to wreck their chance of getting into the University of their choice. However, many teenagers are not aware that many colleges check social media sites and the internet when they apply. The schools search for the applicant’s sites but also search to see if the applicant is on friend’s sites. They look at your pictures and opinions and decide do they feel they want you representing their school to the world. They can get your text history depending on how closely they choose to examine your background.

Let’s consider the most common problems that teenagers encounter with texting. The first one is texting sexually explicit photographs to their boyfriend/girlfriend. At the time they think it is no big deal. However, high school romances typically do not last. If one of the individuals feels hurt, they can post that sexually explicit picture all over the Internet. It can be sent to their families and friends. In fact, their entire school could see it. This would be extremely embarrassing. Even if the person who posted the picture is punished, the picture is still out there and the damage is done.

Additionally, teenagers fail to think about the fact that they are under 18 years old. Therefore, they are violating child pornography laws by texting the picture or by receiving it and having a copy on their cellphone. In fact, Congress is trying to pass stricter laws regarding teenagers texting sexually explicit picture. Therefore, besides being very embarrassed, the teenagers involved might find themselves facing legal charges for violating child pornography laws.

The second major issue is harassment. Friends get mad at each other or often one teenager is singled out and they become the object of numerous texts telling them they are ugly, no one likes them etc. These texts can be sent so often and by some many other teenagers that the teen who is the target commits suicide. There are numerous examples of this and a common one is accusing a teenager of being gay. This is not harmless teenage game playing. This harassment can be vicious. They are also cases where the teenagers sending these texts have been charged with stalking or more serious charges if the teenager committed suicide.

When this occurs, the teenagers are shocked. They think they were just teasing another kid and it was harmless. They have no idea what this teenager is already dealing with in their life or what it can be like to have numerous classmates texting you every day all day long. It is not harmless teasing, but because technology has increased so quickly it is not the same teasing that use to occur at school. We have not had enough time to think about this point.

Another major issue is that texting is an excellent way for schools or police to arrest teenagers for dealing drugs, buying or using drugs. I have worked with many teenagers from numerous schools where the school catches someone using or selling marijuana on school grounds. The school then checks the student’s cellphone and looks at the text history. The school then starts calling in the student’s on the text history and asking about drug use or selling. One teenager getting caught at school can result in ten teenagers being expelled. The teenagers are usually in shock. First, they never thought they were doing anything wrong and they never thought a text could get them in trouble. However, it can and it does. I have seen many teenagers for psychotherapy because of a text found by the school.

Finally, new research is showing that texting is increasing the rate of depression in teenagers. Texting creates more access in some ways, however, it is isolating too. When you text you lose the personal interaction which is very important. People do need personal interaction for their mental health. When teenagers text they miss out on the personal interaction. This can and does at times lead to a lonely feeling. If a teenager is already having a hard time and then they experience of feeling isolated too, this can lead to depression. Research is showing an increase in teenage depression and I am seeing an increase in the number of teenagers I am seeing for depression. Therefore, we need to take a closer look at teenagers and texting.

So we are facing a difficult situation. Teenagers today tend to use texting as their primary way of communication. Given the pandemic we are dealing with at this time it makes sense for them to text each other. However, our ethics have not kept up with technology and there are a number of ways teenagers can get into trouble texting. Additionally, research indicates that texting can increase the feelings of isolation and depression in teenagers. Feeling many teenagers and trying to avoid during the Coronavirus pandemic. One way they feel that helps them is texting friends. However, this maybe incorrect according to the research. Therefore, parents are facing a difficult situation when it comes to their teenagers texting each other.

At this point, my professional opinion is that parents sit down with their teenagers and discuss the pros and cons about texting and that parents limit texting to an hour everyday. Additionally, you may want to set up an agreement where your teenager allows you to monitor their texting in away that is comfortable for you and your teenager. Remember to be patient during this conversation because everyone is dealing with stress due to the pandemic.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with 20 years of experience working with children and teenagers. He also treats Internet addiction. For more information on Dr. Rubino’s work or his private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

Yes, You can Take Your IEP to College

Yes, You can Take Your IEP to College

Working with children and adolescents I have had many parents ask about 504 plans and Individual Educational Plans (IEP). Parents tend to focus on the assistance their child may need in elementary or high school due to a learning disability or mental health issues. Working over 20 years as a psychotherapist, what I have observed is that children who need assistance in elementary and high school typically need assistance in college. However, many students are not aware that they are entitled to assistance in College too. Now that schools and colleges are reopening many college students are planning on returning to campus and high school seniors who are graduating are preparing to leave for college. Parents are trying to anticipate what their child will need at college, such as laptops etc. However, do not forget their Individual Educational Plan (IEP) so they can arrange for accommodations at their college.

From my experience, most families assume there is no assistance in college. However, typically if a child has an IEP, they are also entitled to assistance in college. Most colleges in their Counseling departments have people and programs designated to help disabled students. A student with a physical or learning disability or mental health issue such as ADHD or depression would qualify for assistance by the Disabled Students Program at a college. I have recently been receiving many questions from Parents about what happens to their child’s IEP when the go to college and questions from parents who have college freshmen asking about their child’s IEP. Therefore, I thought it would be beneficial to provide information about how IEPs are handled by colleges. In addition to an IEP, any student with a learning disability or mental health issue is entitled to accommodations by their college because they are covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1991.

Additionally, if you live in California and you have a physical or learning disability or a mental health issue and if you had or did not have an IEP while in school, you may qualify to be a client of the California Department of Rehabilitation. This Department is responsible for assisting people in California, with a disability, find a job and get the education they may need to find a job. The Department may assist their clients by providing tuition assistance for community or state colleges and provide financial assistance to buy text books and school supplies. What they are able to do depends on the State budget.

This is another reason for parents to insist when their child does need an IEP that the school district places the child on an IEP. The lies schools tell parents that an IEP will prevent their child from getting into a college, the military or getting a job are not true. Another reason to insist on the IEP, if your child qualifies for an IEP, as a result of having an IEP, your child can be granted accommodations on the SAT or ACT. These are tests seniors typically need to take when they are applying to four year universities. The common accommodation most students require is additional time to complete the tests. I have had many teens with ADHD come to me seeking accommodations on the SAT or ACT. A common requirement that the testing boards require is that a student needs to have had an IEP if they are seeking accommodations on these tests.

Therefore, many students who have disabilities or mental health issues can receive assistance in college. While many people may be surprised, it is true. However, for many college students finding the assistance can be confusing and overwhelming. For a Freshman in college, dealing with heath or mental health issues, the confusion and embarrassment the feel at times because of society’s stereotypes can cause students to give up. The best place for a college freshman to start is the student counseling center. They can then direct them to the correct department and they can avoid some of the embarrassment and confusion.

Also I was contacted by bettercollege.com with a resource guide they developed for college students with mental health issues. While their guide was created for students with mental health issues, it can also be used as a guide for students with physical or learning disabilities. This guide can help a student not feel so overwhelmed or embarrassed too.

Since I feel this is a valuable guide to Freshman students and their families, I am including a link to this resource guide below:

Guide to College Planning for Psychiatrically Impaired Students – https://www.bestcolleges.com/resources/college-planning-with-psychiatric-disabilities/

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience working with children, teenagers and college students. For more information about Dr. Rubino’s work and private practice visit one of his web sites www.RubinoCounseling.com or www.rcs-ca.com or his Facebook page www.Facebook.com/drrubino3.

Teenagers Texting during the Pandemic

Teenagers Texting during the Pandemic

In today’s world texting has become a very common way for people to communicate with each other, especially for teenagers. Before the Coronavirus, when I would go to a baseball game or the theater, I would see adults texting the entire time. I have even seen people fired via text. We also have a President who makes major announcements via Twitter. His actions make teenagers feel Texting is normal. Additionally, it’s no surprise teenagers today feel texting is the normal way to communicate because they grew up with it. Any teenager today is part of what I refer to as the IPhone generation. Since these kids were born there have been Smartphones that they have been using. Therefore, texting or having instant access to information via the internet is normal to them. They never have seen an encyclopedia or a card catalog at a library. The teenagers I currently see for psychotherapy, use texting as their primary way of communicating with each other. Besides texting by Smartphones, teenagers also now text each other as they play video games oline. Try removing a teenager’s Smartphone or gaming console so they cannot text, many teens become very upset and some even become violent. Additionally many parents don’t feel texting is really communicating, however adults need to pay attention to how often they text people.

While technology is advancing at a fast pace, our laws and ethics are having a difficult time keeping up with the latest advances. However, when laws are passed or ethical standards set, many teenagers and adults are not aware of the new laws. This is creating a tremendous problem for teenagers and their families. I have worked with many teenagers who are struggling with an issue, such as being accused of threatening someone via text, but they had no idea they were doing anything inappropriate.

Additionally now we have the Coronavirus pandemic and teenagers are having to attend school remotely and are not able to hang out with friends like they did before the pandemic. Therefore, for many teenagers texting has become their lifeline helping them stay in touch with their friends. Again these teenagers have grown up with texting so it’s normal to communicate via text. Many parents don’t understand how texting is the same as talking to another person. However, remember when you were in High School most teenagers spent hours on the telephone because we couldn’t text.

Something that it is important for teenagers to remember is that any time you post something online, tweet or text, it is on the internet forever. Some teens will say when they text it’s just from phone to phone. However, it remains on the phone forever and also on the server that provides your cellphone service. In other words, someone can get your text history from Verizon. This is why many celebrities have won very large monetary judgements against people who have posted false or embarrassing material on the internet. You can remove it from the site it was posted to, but it still can found on other sites. Therefore, if a teenager post something, they need to think about the fact that it will be out there forever and anyone can see it. This may lead to embarrassing situations.

Most teens worry about their grades and after school activities because they do not want to wreck their chance of getting into the University of their choice. However, many teenagers are not aware that many colleges check social media sites and the internet when they apply. The schools search for the applicant’s sites but also search to see if the applicant is on friend’s sites. They look at your pictures and opinions and decide do they feel they want you representing their school to the world. They can get your text history depending on how closely they choose to examine your background.

Let’s consider the most common problems that teenagers encounter with texting. The first one is texting sexually explicit photographs to their boyfriend/girlfriend. At the time they think it is no big deal. However, high school romances typically do not last. If one of the individuals feels hurt, they can post that sexually explicit picture all over the Internet. It can be sent to their families and friends. In fact, their entire school could see it. This would be extremely embarrassing. Even if the person who posted the picture is punished, the picture is still out there and the damage is done.

Additionally, teenagers fail to think about the fact that they are under 18 years old. Therefore, they are violating child pornography laws by texting the picture or by receiving it and having a copy on their cellphone. In fact, Congress is trying to pass stricter laws regarding teenagers texting sexually explicit picture. Therefore, besides being very embarrassed, the teenagers involved might find themselves facing legal charges for violating child pornography laws.

The second major issue is harassment. Friends get mad at each other or often one teenager is singled out and they become the object of numerous texts telling them they are ugly, no one likes them etc. These texts can be sent so often and by some many other teenagers that the teen who is the target commits suicide. There are numerous examples of this and a common one is accusing a teenager of being gay. This is not harmless teenage game playing. This harassment can be vicious. They are also cases where the teenagers sending these texts have been charged with stalking or more serious charges if the teenager committed suicide.

When this occurs, the teenagers are shocked. They think they were just teasing another kid and it was harmless. They have no idea what this teenager is already dealing with in their life or what it can be like to have numerous classmates texting you every day all day long. It is not harmless teasing, but because technology has increased so quickly it is not the same teasing that use to occur at school. We have not had enough time to think about this point.

Another major issue is that texting is an excellent way for schools or police to arrest teenagers for dealing drugs, buying or using drugs. I have worked with many teenagers from numerous schools where the school catches someone using or selling marijuana on school grounds. The school then checks the student’s cellphone and looks at the text history. The school then starts calling in the student’s on the text history and asking about drug use or selling. One teenager getting caught at school can result in ten teenagers being expelled. The teenagers are usually in shock. First, they never thought they were doing anything wrong and they never thought a text could get them in trouble. However, it can and it does. I have seen many teenagers for psychotherapy because of a text found by the school.

Finally, new research is showing that texting is increasing the rate of depression in teenagers. Texting creates more access in some ways, however, it is isolating too. When you text you lose the personal interaction which is very important. People do need personal interaction for their mental health. When teenagers text they miss out on the personal interaction. This can and does at times lead to a lonely feeling. If a teenager is already having a hard time and then they experience of feeling isolated too, this can lead to depression. Research is showing an increase in teenage depression and I am seeing an increase in the number of teenagers I am seeing for depression. Therefore, we need to take a closer look at teenagers and texting.

So we are facing a difficult situation. Teenagers today tend to use texting as their primary way of communication. Given the pandemic we are dealing with at this time it makes sense for them to text each other. However, our ethics have not kept up with technology and there are a number of ways teenagers can get into trouble texting. Additionally, research indicates that texting can increase the feelings of isolation and depression in teenagers. Feeling many teenagers and trying to avoid during the Coronavirus pandemic. One way they feel that helps them is texting friends. However, this maybe incorrect according to the research. Therefore, parents are facing a difficult situation when it comes to their teenagers texting each other.

At this point, my professional opinion is that parents sit down with their teenagers and discuss the pros and cons about texting and that parents limit texting to an hour everyday. Additionally, you may want to set up an agreement where your teenager allows you to monitor their texting in away that is comfortable for you and your teenager. Remember to be patient during this conversation because everyone is dealing with stress due to the pandemic.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with 20 years of experience working with children and teenagers. He also treats Internet addiction. For more information on Dr. Rubino’s work or his private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

Dealing with Pandemic Fatigue

Dealing with Pandemic Fatigue

I am hearing more and more children are teenagers complain about they are tired of the pandemic and they want their lives to return to normal. They don’t want to wear a mask anymore and they want to play with their friends. I am also hearing parents also comment about being tired of the Coronavirus pandemic and wondering when our lives will return to normal. We have been dealing with quarantine issues since March so it is understandable that people are getting tired of the pandemic. However, when you look at our current numbers and we are entering the flu season in addition, this is not a time to get tired and give up.

Currently over 215,000 Americans have died from the Coronavirus. Additionally a majority of the states are reporting an increase in the number of Coronavirus cases. The United States is currently reporting 50,000 new cases daily (CDC). This is an increase since August when the number was 40,000 new cases daily still to high. Dr. Fauci and the University of Washington both predict if we continue on our current course another 20,000 Americans will die over the next two weeks and by the end of the year over 400,000 Americans will have died from the Coronavirus pandemic. If you look at these numbers that is a lot of people who are expected to die by December 31, 2020. The Coronavirus will become the second leading cause of death in the United States for the year 2020 (CDC)

If we take a moment and think about that 400,000 number, we can think about who it really represents. If we look at it just as a number it does not mean a lot to most people. However, when we examine the number and who it represents, people start to change their attitudes. This 400,000 represents your parents, your grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, best friends, spouses, coworkers and maybe even your grandchildren, your children and maybe even you. Looking at the number this way, are you prepared to lose multiple members of your family over the next 3 months? You would be losing them during the Holiday Season and since the virus is highly contagious you would not be with them as they die in the hospital. In other words, your loved one will die alone in ICU and you will not be able to have traditional funeral services due to the limitations on how many people can be together at one time. You may even lose multiple family members in one day or the same week. Many people have lost both parents and a spouse within one week (CDC). This is not uncommon and how does a person cope with all that grief at one time?

Part of what is contributing to the Coronavirus fatigue are the conflicting messages we are getting from the White House. The President’s statement that we are rounding the corner is false. When we are reporting 50,000 new cases daily we are in the middle of a pandemic. The vaccine will not be ready until at least April, 2021 and then we don’t know how effective the vaccine will be (CDC, John Hopkins University). The other confusing statement the President continues to promote is that masks and social distancing are not necessary. However at his campaign event is Tulsa without masks and distancing a number of the President’s staff developed the virus and his friend, who started Godfather pizza, developed the virus and died. When the President announced his nomination to the Supreme Court in the Rose Garden, 10 people contracted the virus in addition to the President and the First Lady. Dr. Fauci and other public health experts called the Rose Garden ceremony a super spreader event. The former governor of New Jersey issued a statement saying he was wrong not wearing a mask at the Rose Garden ceremony and he was wrong not to wear a mask while he prepared the President for the debate. The former governor finally stated masks are necessary.

As a way to avoid the Pandemic fatigue we need to ignore what the White House and the President are stating about the Coronavirus. His statements have no basis in fact or reality. As a result, they are confusing and add to our fatigue. We need to listen to Dr. Fauci and the other public health experts. They are not running for political office and have no reason to lie to the public. After all, they are public health experts and have studied their entire lives to help people in situations like a pandemic. Their recommendations are if we continue to wear masks and continue to social distance, we can reduce the amount of people who will die and we can get the virus under control. The more we get the virus under control the sooner we can start to resume some normal activities. However, it is going to take time and we must keep this in mind as we go through each day.

Parents I understand it’s hard when your teenagers are demanding more freedom and you must keep saying no. The best and only option is to be honest with your children and teenagers. Acknowledge their frustration and desire to return to normal. However, you must explain like it or not that masks and social distancing will help all of you get closer to normal again. Since we are still having people come down with the Coronavirus at a significant rate, it’s essential that we abide by the guidelines specified by the public health experts. If we give up now, we will make the quarantine situations last longer. We need to try and look at the situation that the more we comply with the guidelines the closer we get back to normal. In the meantime, every once in a while plan something special for your child keeping in mind the guidelines so you can keep them safe. For example, allow teenagers to hang out with a friend as long as they wear their masks and keep appropriate social distance. This can help your children and teenagers deal with the fatigue. Since we do not know how long this will last, we need to be honest about that fact. This again will help you and your family survive the Coronavirus fatigue. We must remember to take it a day at a time and find ways to destress when possible. If we all work together and respect each other, we can survive the Coronavirus pandemic.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information regarding Dr. Rubino’s work or his private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or on Apple.

Children’s Right to Psychotherapy is at Serious Risk

Children’s Right to Psychotherapy is at Serious Risk

Parents our elections are coming up and it is very important that you vote and call your Senators regarding health care. Currently President Trump has several suits in the Courts to eliminate the Affordable Care Act and pre-existing conditions. Yes he signed an Executive Order, but insurance companies do not have to comply with the Order. The Executive Order are only recommendations so insurance companies can and will ignore it. I have been a psychotherapist for over 20 years and I have seen how the Affordable Care Act has benefited thousands of people. Before we had it, many people were denied or could not afford psychotherapy.

Before the ACA, if you had ever taken antidepressants, your insurance could deny to cover psychotherapy for you or require you to pay a very high copayment. I saw this happen many times to patients I was treating prior to the ACA. Depression and anxiety are considered pre-existing conditions. Also in your insurance contact there is a standard clause that if the insurance company wants to see all your medical records you cannot stop them. I had insurance companies make these requests and I checked with numerous attorneys and the answer always was the same. The way the insurance writes their contract, you cannot stop them from getting all your records from the day you were born. If you refuse, they can terminate your insurance coverage. Insurance companies typically will ask for all your records because if you had psychotherapy as a teenager that is a pre-existing condition. Therefore, they can deny to cover your psychotherapy. They could even terminate your health insurance all together.

What if you have children? If you have a child with Autism, ADHD or if they were ever suicidal, your child will not be able to get insurance coverage or the psychotherapy they desperately need. Before the ACA I had many families in this exact situation. Many would automatically terminate therapy. Research now shows if children with these issues receive therapy when they are very young we can improve the outcome for them as adults. However, without the ACA, insurance companies specify these issues as pre-existing conditions and therefore the child is not entitled to psychotherapy. I often provided psychotherapy to these families at a fee they could afford. However, not every therapist can afford to lower their fees and I can only do it for a certain number of families because it cost money to run a business.

This election and these cases before the Courts could have disastrous effects on you and your children if the pre-existing clause is eliminated. The President has stated he will protect the clause, but his actions indicate he will eliminate it if he can. If this clause is eliminated anyone who has dealt with depression or ADHD will not be able to get insurance or if they can the rate will be very high. Remember if the clause is eliminated it will not just stop you or your child from receiving therapy it will also stop you from receiving medical care. So if you develop long haul syndrome after having the Coronavirus, you will not be able to get insurance coverage. The Coronavirus is a pre-existing condition. Another fact is that 1 out of 5 children meet the criteria for a diagnosable mental health issue (CDC). This means 1 out of 5 children have a pre-existing condition. So parents please vote and call Senators and save the pre-existing condition clause. Please do not trust President Trump to do it.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers for more information about Dr. Rubino visit his website at http://www.RubinoCounseling.com

Mental Health Crisis Created by the Coronavirus

Mental Health Crisis Created by the Coronavirus

We have a major mental health crisis coming our way and we are not prepared. Before the Coronavirus pandemic one out of five teenagers met the criteria for a mental health diagnosis and needed psychotherapy (CDC). In addition depression, anxiety and cutting were at epidemic rates for teenagers (CDC). To make matters worse, suicide had been the third leading cause of death for teenagers prior to the pandemic and has been moved from the third to the second leading cause of death for teenagers (CDC). Additionally, African-American teenagers were committing suicide at five times the rate of Caucasian teenagers (CDC). This means prior to the pandemic, we had many teenagers dying due to suicide and the rate has been increasing every year for the past ten years (CDC). In 2018 over 6200 teenagers between 10-18 committed suicide (CDC). If the number of teenagers committing suicide is increasing every year significantly, then how many teenagers committed suicide last year? How many teenagers will attempt or commit suicide this year?

Here are the statistics for teenage mental health prior to the pandemic. We know since the pandemic the number of teenagers reporting depression and anxiety have significantly increased and so have the number of teenage suicides and death due to drug overdoses have increased since the pandemic. I have seen a significant increase in patients calling my office for psychotherapy for their teenagers and children. How are we going to provide all these children and teenagers with psychotherapy? Additionally, many parents are having to stop their child’s psychotherapy because they can no longer afford the copayments. Many parents have lost their jobs or have had their hours cut which reduces their monthly income. Therefore, many parents are having to choose between paying rent and buying food or their child’s therapy. I am willing to make accommodations so the children and teenagers I treat can stay in therapy, however many therapists will not make accommodations. So what happens to all these children who need therapy because the pandemic has exacerbated their mental health issues? Why should parents have to decide between food on the table or therapy for their depressed teenager?

Another fact we cannot overlook is that this week we reached the point where 200,000 Americans have died due to the Coronavirus. This means there are 200,000 families who are grieving. Many children have lost parents and grandparents. Many parents have lost their parents and have lost their child too. The Coronavirus does and has killed children. How do we provide grief counseling to all of the grieving families and friends? With a record number of people out of work order besides finding therapists to help all these family members, how do you provide therapy at an affordable price? If you have a family of four that needs therapy, the monthly cost for therapy will be very expensive. Again people are having to choose between food for the family or therapy for the family.

Another factor impacting the mental health of children and parents is school. Because the President refuses to issue a national mandate regarding masks, children and teenagers are having to attend school remotely. Fourth percent of the parents in our Country have had to adjust their work schedules so there is someone at home to help the children. This has resulted in many parents having to reduce their pay. Again making it difficult to pay the rent and afford food. Additionally, many children and teenagers are becoming very frustrated because the remote learning is not well coordinated and they want to give up on school. This is adding more stress to families who are already over stressed. They are needing psychotherapy to help them, but they cannot afford therapy. Again what are we going to do to help these families?

One final point for this article, we hear that people have and do recover after being diagnosed with the Coronavirus. This is true, however, we have now learned something new about this new virus. A number of people who recover go on to develop what is being to referred to as “long haul syndrome.” People who develop this syndrome have heart palpitations, neurological problems, losing their hair and a condition referred to a brain fog. At this point no one knows how long it will last and who will develop it. It also is creating mental health issues such as depression. These people and their families will require therapy too. Again, how do we provide affordable therapy to these people? Since there is a negative stigma about mental health, we do not have enough therapists in the United States to treat all these people. Right now of course we are looking for a cure to the virus but we have not been paying attention to the collateral damage this virus has caused and how are we going to cope with it. Mental health is a major area, but we have not been paying attention to the mental health issues created by this virus and how are we going to address the mental health needs of the United States.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

An Important Role Model for All Teenagers

An Important Role Model for All Teenagers

On Friday, September 18, 2020, we lost an American legend and a person who taught all of us some very important lessons. The person we lost was Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg at the age of 87. While the politicians are arguing about who and how her place on the Supreme Court will be filled, let us take sometime to look at her legacy and honor what she has done for the United States. She fought for the rights for many people and groups who were discriminated against due to the law. She truly worked and devoted her life to make our Country “a more perfect Union.” Additionally, she is and excellent role model for teenagers. Yes she is a role model for teenage girls, but she is also an excellent role model for teenage boys too. Let’s take a moment to look at the lessons she taught teenagers and how teenagers can use the lessons she provided.

Justice Bader Ginsberg personally faced discrimination and negative stereotypes and she learned first hand how they were unfair to the person but also how the stereotypes and discrimination hurt our nation too. Justice Bader Ginsberg had three strikes against her. She was a woman, she was Jewish and she was a mother. Here are two examples of the discrimination and negative stereotypes she faced during her life. She lived in Nebraska with her husband and she was working for the United States Social Security office in Nebraska. When she had her first child she was demoted and received a pay cut because women with children should not be working. Another example is after she was accepted to Harvard University. A professor called her aside and asked her to justify why she should be at Harvard and deny a man from attending Harvard. She did not allow these acts of discrimination to stop her. She understood why she was facing the discrimination and she would not let the discrimination stop her from moving forward with her life and the discrimination did not stop her from fighting against it and other inequalities many people faced.

After Justice Bader Ginsberg finished her law education and she graduated tied for first place at Cornell University, she was unable to get a job at a law firm because she was a woman, Jewish and a mother. Married Jewish women were not supposed to be attorneys. They were suppose to stay at home and raise a family. Again the discrimination would not stop her from fulfilling her life’s dream and her potential. She became an attorney for the ACLU and started to challenge discrimination and prejudice legally. She also had a husband, Marty Ginsberg, who supported her. He was an attorney too, but he believed that his wife had the right to be an attorney too and encouraged her to continue.

She did continue and people started to notice her talent and she started to change barriers. She took on discrimination against women, discrimination against voting rights for minorities and discrimination against people with disabilities. Her talent was recognized by President Carter who appointed her to be a Federal Judge and then President Obama appointed her to the Supreme Court. She over came the fact that she was a woman, Jewish and a mother. She made the world better for herself and for thousands of American citizens.

In addition to all the discrimination she faced, she also faced numerous bouts of being diagnosed with cancer. Many people may have retired after their first diagnosis, but not Justice Bader Ginsberg. She continued to work through chemotherapy, radiation and surgeries. She did not allow cancer to stop her from fighting for people’s rights. If she was not able to make it to the Court, she participated via conference calls from her home and even from her hospital bed. This is a person with a strong drive and who was not going to let anything get in her way of making our Country “a more perfect Union” for everyone regardless of their gender, race, religion or sexual orientation.

Now that we of an understanding of what she faced and her work, let’s look at the important lessons she taught teenagers. First, she showed that one person can make significant changes in our world. Also her friendship with Justice Scalia (a strong republican) taught us that you can respect and be kind to people with different opinions from you. In fact, you can even be friends with someone who has different opinions or different background from you. This is very important for teenagers to remember that you can be kind and respect people who are different from you or has different beliefs.

Another very important lesson she taught teenagers is not to let someone else’s prejudice or negative stereotype about you to stop you from fulfilling your dreams or to cause you to doubt yourself. If I had listened to people when I graduated from U.C. Berkely, I would have never earned my doctorate degree. I was told when I graduated from U.C. Berkeley that people with physical and neurological disabilities don’t go on to get advanced degrees. I should just be happy getting a job. I ignored the comments and discrimination I faced a long the way and I earned a Master’s degree and my Doctorate degree. I followed Justice Bander Ginsberg example and followed the faith I had in myself and ignored the stereotypes and discrimination. Girls and other teenagers who are belong to a minority, also need to believe in themselves and follow their dreams. Do not let someone else tell you what you can achieve in your life based on their prejudices or stereotypes they hold. Follow the belief you have in yourself and pursue your dreams.

Another lesson Justice Bader Ginsberg taught teenagers is you have an obligation to speak out against injustices and to help other people by helping to eliminate discrimination and negative stereotypes. As our Constitution states, “all men are created equally.” If that statement is going to mean anything then everyone regardless of ethnicity, financial class, gender or religious beliefs need to have the same opportunities as white Americans. Therefore, supporting groups such as Black Lives Matter and other groups addressing the systemic discrimination in our Country is our responsibility. Justice Bader Ginsberg’s life was dedicated to eliminating systemic discrimination and racism. This is why her last request was her successor be named by the winner of the Presidential Election on November 3rd. We can help ensure that the intent of her last wish will be carried out if teenagers speak up and demand that any systemic discrimination or racism they observe is changed.

Justice Bader Ginsberg lived her life showing us that no one has the right to define us as a person and in the United States we are all equal and deserve to be treated equally with kindness and respect. I hear many teenagers telling me they feel the same way when I see them for therapy. Therefore, we can honor this amazing lady by encouraging our teenagers not to allow stereotypes and racism to define them as people. Furthermore, we can honor this amazing lady by encouraging our teenagers to speak up and fight against racism and discrimination they see in our society. Remember Justice Bader Ginsberg’s belief that everyone in the United States deserves to be treated with dignity, respect and kindness regardless of ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, financial class or disability status.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

IEPs and 504 plans Exist with Remote Schooling Too

IEPs and 504 plans Exist with Remote Schooling Too

While most of the schools in California are using remote learning, it does not mean that Individual Educational Plans (IEP) and 504 plans are obsolete. In fact, due to remote learning and the pandemic many students are experiencing increased problems with learning and need IEPS and 504 plans as a result. Unfortunately I have been contacted by many families who were in the process of having their IEP meetings when the schools shut down suddenly due to the Coronavirus. These families have been contacting the school to finish their child’s IEP, but the district continues to postpone. Additionally, some children who didn’t have difficulties when they were in class are having difficulties with remote learning and increased anxiety due to the Coronavirus. Therefore, parents you are correct when you are asking to have your child’s IEP completed. Legally the school districts must complete a student’s IEP. The pandemic does not allow them to legally abandon IEPs and 504 plans. Also until they finalize the new IEP, the district legally must comply with the existing IEP on file. Furthermore, for parents who have children who need an IEP due to the remote learning or anxiety due to the pandemic, you can still legally request an IEP for your child. Additionally, school districts must comply with the existing IEP guidelines and laws. The pandemic does not allow a school district not to comply with the IEP and 504 laws.

It should be a straight forward process if your child needs an IEP, but many school districts play games with the process because it cost them money. However, they have enough money for IEPs. It comes down to a school districts priorities and how they choose to spend their money. Therefore, don’t be afraid to demand what your child is entitled to.

In order to help you understand how severe the schools play games with the process, here is one family’s experience trying to get their child an IEP and how the school district abused the family. The names have been changed for the family’s privacy. However, this same story happens daily to many families and children. In fact, I have three other families I am currently working with where the school district is doing similar things. Instead of decreasing, it appears the abusive behavior by the school districts is increasing every year. Therefore, parents please read carefully because you never know when you may be facing the same issues.

The story of Tara and her daughter Payton is a common story I have heard many times from families who have children who need an IEP. Prior to the age of 4 years old Payton was diagnosed with a speech and auditory processing difficulties. Payton was behind in her speech developmental milestones and attending preschool to address these issues. However, no one explained to Tara, Payton’s mother, what this diagnosis meant or the prognosis. Neither did anyone explain to Tara about the special education services she was entitled to.

Payton started kindergarten and do to her difficulties she needed to repeat kindergarten. Again, no one explained to Tara, Payton’s mother, how this may impact Payton and they also did not explain any other options, Tara agreed. She was not alarmed because Tara had to repeat kindergarten herself.

However, this started a never ending cycle, where Payton was not meeting the standards for her grade level even when she was receiving Resource Assistance. Tara stated some Resource Teachers were great and others knew very little about auditory processing issues so her daughter received no help.

Tara, watching her daughter struggle, decided to do her own research. She found out more about her daughter’s learning disability and that there was a private school which specialized in this learning disability. Mount Diablo School District continued to lie to Tara as she asked more questions. Also the District went to Payton’s father and lied to him. They told him if Payton’s mother was successfully in getting Payton into the private school, he would have to pay upfront. The District said they would reimburse him later. This is a lie. Also it is not uncommon for the school district to take advantage of a divorce situation and play the parents against each other.

This resulted in a long fight with the school district and in the family court. Payton is in 6th grade and after many years and a great deal of time and money, the fight continues. Mount Diablo School District never looked at the price Payton was paying not receiving the education she is entitled to and having to endure her parents fighting each other in the courts.

This could have been handled very easily if someone was honest with Tara and told her what her daughter was entitled to and if the District followed the legal guidelines. However, they lie to parents all the time hoping parents will give up. If they do, then the District doesn’t need to pay anything and can use the money how they want. Tara was a prime target. A single parent who does not have a lot of time or money. Mount Diablo misjudged Tara, she would not give up on her daughter.

Tara also found out something else parents need to be aware of when dealing with the IEP process. The parent liaisons provided by the district are not there to help the parent or the student. They serve as another way to confuse parents by providing incorrect information to parents. Most parents trust these people believing they are on the student’s side, but they really are there to support the District.

As I said, Tara and Payton’s story is not uncommon. I have worked with many other families who have very similar stories. Also as I stated above, the number of families in these situations are increasing not decreasing. Parents tend to believe school districts have the students best interest at heart. This is how it is suppose to be. However, I have worked with families across the United States and what I have seen is that school districts have their best interest at heart not the students. Tara had a very good way of stating the problem, “the child is the one who struggles for not having their needs met academically”.  How many more parents are out there with struggling students who have been given the same bad information?  I don’t know.  But we need to help them help their child, or these children will be at risk of dropping out and struggling the rest of their lives.  The school district is actually helping create children who are unable to get jobs and will be unable to afford decent housing when they become adults.  And that is a very very scary reality, no one wants to talk about it because it’s not their child who is at risk. However, it could very easily be your child. What do you do then?

Parents need to come together and demand that their children be provided the accommodations they are entitled to. Look up the educational law so you are aware of the appropriate procedure and accommodations. Also do not be embarrassed for standing up for your child’s rights. You are just being a good parent. The school districts need to look at how they are treating children. Also when it comes time to elect the school board, research the candidates and elect those who have a history which demonstrates they truly care about children.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating teenagers and children. In addition he has over 20 years experience serving as an IEP advocate for families. For more information about Dr. Rubino’s work or private practice visit his websites www.RubinoCounseling.com or www.LucasCenter.org or listen to my podcast Understanding Today’s Teenagers on Spotify and Apple.