Improving Communication with Your Teenager

Improving Communication with Your Teenager

As a psychotherapist works with teenagers and their parents, I have heard a common complaint from both teenagers and their parents. Both complain about difficulties with communication. Teenagers feel that their parents don’t understand them. And parents tell me they feel like they cannot communicate with their teenagers.

I have stated in prior articles that if parents want to have good communication with their children, they must work on the parent-child relationship early. The earlier the better. If you wait until your child in a teenager, it is very difficult due to the brain development during puberty. When children are born their brains are not fully developed. Their brains, reasoning and communication skills continue to develop as a child grows. Parents need to be prepared for these changes.

I recently read a blog by Dr. Denny Coats which deals with this issue. He breaks the issue down to thee points for parents to understand and work on. I think these three points make it easy for parents to understand what is occurring and what they need to do. So hear they are:

1. Improve your communication skills

You can get away with almost any way of communicating during early childhood; but once adolescence arrives, reacting in the typical way not only won’t get you the results you hope for, it will erode the relationship. In my opinion, five skills matter most.

Listening. If learning only one skill is all your busy life permits, this is the one you should focus on. Learn all you can about listening and set a goal of to continuously improve the way you listen for the rest of your life.

Encouraging your child to think – analyzing, evaluating, learning from experience, problem-solving, decision-making, goal-setting, planning, and organizing. Yes, you’re a lot smarter than your child and you can the thinking for them, just as you’ve done during early childhood. But these mental skills take time and quite a lot of repetition to master, and your child will need them to succeed in a career, life and relationships.

Giving effective feedback – both praise and constructive feedback. Your child will need it, but you need to offer it in a specific, positive way, so that it both guides and encourages.

Dialogue. When you have differences of opinion, arguing is the instinctive reaction. The problem is that it resolves nothing and tends to alienate the child. You can learn to share and probe each other’s thinking, instead.

Conflict resolution. When your child wants something that is unacceptable to you, it’s possible to explore other alternatives that satisfy both your needs and those of your child.

These are the skills you’ll need to deal with daily challenges and opportunities and to have the dozen or so “talks” every parent should have with their growing child. Search my blog for articles about these skills. The online self-paced Strong for Parenting program has videos, articles and tip sheets about these skills. Begin experimenting with one skill at a time and learn from your experiences using it with your family.

2. Get smart about the brain development that will happen during adolescence.

It will be invisible, slow, silent and relentless, with enormous consequences. So much depends on the kind of thinking your child exercises during the teen years, and there’s much you can do as a parent to optimize the result. I wrote the free ebook, The Race against Time, to help parents appreciate what’s going on and what they can do.

3. Acknowledge that during adolescence, you’ll be raising an adult, not a child.

Yes, prior to puberty, you are definitely dealing with a child. And after puberty, you won’t be dealing with an adult. Your kid will be a no-longer-a-child-but not-yet-an-adult, what we call an adolescent.

During those six or seven years before he or she leaves home to go to college, start a career, enter military service, or even start their own family, your child hopefully will construct the foundation for the mental skills that will be needed for adult life. And aside from academic learning, teenagers have plenty of social and life skills to learn. if you think of your child as an “apprentice adult,” you’ll deal with them on that level, expect more of them and give them opportunities to learn the skills and wisdom they’ll need. If you realize you’re helping your child become a successful, responsible, happy adult, you can get a lot done. And believe me, for too many teenagers much of this development is haphazard or nonexistent.

So start now. Start improving the communication skills that matter. Help your child practice the mental skills that will give them a superior mind. Start thinking of your tween as an “emerging adult,” so that month by month and year by year you can help them prepare for adult life.

Dr. Michael Rubino has over 20 years experience working with teenagers and their parents. For more information regarding his work or private practice please visit his website at http://www.RubinoCounseling.com.

Facts about Vaporizing and Hookah Pens

Facts about Vaporizing and Hookah Pens

Many teenagers have heard it is illegal for them to use marijuana. Therefore, many teenagers have found away that they feel is legal and safe. Teenagers are using vaporizers or Hooka pens. Unfortunately, many parents don’t know a great deal about this new way to smoke

Vaporizing is the new things teens are using. They use it when the use an E cigarette and they use vaporizers for using weed. I have seen teens actively using vaporizing pens on school campuses. They feel they are safe and they will not get into trouble using them.

Many people will say E cigarettes are safer. However the newest research does not indicate that is true. They have not been on the market long enough to know the long term effects. The newest research indicates that E cigarettes can cause health problems. Therefore, you should not assume they are safe.

Teens are also using vaporizers to use weed. Again they claim it is healthier. While vaporizing prevents some chemicals from getting into a teens body, vaporizing allows more THC into the teens body. People state it creates more of an intense body high that lasts for a day or two. People warn that if someone is not use to this it can create a traumatic experience for the teen. With vaporizing someone can do what is referred to as a volcano. The weed is vaporized into a plastic bag so it can be inhaled over time.

People who I have spoken to state vaporizing is not as safe as teens think. The body high it creates and the length of the high could be traumatic for a teenager. However, they are seeing more teens getting into it even though they don’t know exactly what they are getting into.

Parents do your own research and talk to your teens. There are more and more drugs out there and more ways to use them than ever before. Teenagers don’t know exactly what they are getting into and can end up in a bad situation. They need your guidance more than ever regarding these new drugs and methods of use.

The Hookah Pens and Vaporizers are more popular today. In addition so are the designer drugs Mollies and Thunder Bolts. No one knows exactly what is in them so many Emergency Room doctors are unable to treat these teens and they die.

Another thing teens are using is GNC stores. Everything in there is a vitamin so it does not have to be tested by the FDA. However many of these vitamins used at the right amount give teens a long lasting high. Many parents don’t suspect anything because their teen says they are taking vitamins for their sport team their on. Look at and research anything they are taking.

Well your teenager has found a new toy to use. Many teens have been smoking Hookah because they believe that it is safer than cigarettes or marijuana. Unfortunately they are wrong. It is just as dangerous and might be more dangerous.

Smoking Hookah is a group activity that is common in the Middle East and India. Since it is a group activity, it is appealing to teens. Also since many adults here in the United States know little about it, this makes it more appealing to teens because it is easier to lie about. If you look up Hookah, you will find there are numerous places that teens can go in Pleasant Hill, Walnut Creek and Concord to buy a Hookah pipe and Hookah to smoke. There are also Hookah cafes similar to Starbucks where teens can go and smoke it. And now finally there is the Hookah pen. It looks like a regular pen so they can take it any where such as school and smoke.

However, the Hookah pipe can be used for smoking more than Hookah. The teens are combining Hookah with marijuana to get high. Now that there is a Hookah pen, or vaporizer pen, teens can easily take this to school and smoke during class. As a parent you may want to discuss Hookah with your teen and see what they know or don’t know. You may want to discuss the pros and cons too. Also remind them if they get caught with the pen on campus, they are in trouble.

One thing this should point out to parents is that you should never let your your guard down. Teens are always developing new ways and new devices to get high. Check out this video on YouTube to learn more about these pens.

Read more about the effect of these “waterpipe” smoking devices from the World Health Organization.

Dr. Michael Rubino specializes in treating teens. He has over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information on Dr Michael Rubino’s work or his private practice visit his web site at www.rcs-ca.com

Posting On Line Without Thinking can be Dangerous

Posting On Line Without Thinking can be Dangerous

Teenagers posting personal information on line has been an issue for a while. Also with the advent of cyber bullying it has made what teens post on line even more of an issue. Many teenagers have committed suicide due to cyber bullying.

In addition to cyber bullying, on line posting by teenagers has been associated with depression and low self-esteem. Many teens feel everyone always has positive things about their lives to post. Also some teens feels embarrassed because other teens have over 500 friends and they do not have that many friends. These issues involved with posting on line do have a dramatic impact on teenagers.

I recently read a blog by Frank Sonnenberg which addressed the issue of appropriate on line sharing by teenagers. His blog shared some comments by Sue Scheff. She is a nationally recognized author, parent advocate, and family Internet safety expert. Her new book, Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate, is powerful! The book is filled with practical advice and real-world examples, as well as powerful tools and strategies, to ensure that you thrive—and don’t become a victim of the cyberworld.

I have found her work very helpful and I tend to make the same recommendations to the teenagers I see for psychotherapy that Sue put in her book. Below are some guidelines Sue Scheff recommends about on line posting. I support these recommendations because they help protect teenagers from cyberbullying and feelings of depression and low self-esteem.

Sharing much too much: It’s about time we realize that not everything we do in our life needs to be documented online. Many of us have become addicted to documenting practically every breath we take on social media, from eating a doughnut to taking a train ride. Is it any wonder that overshare was The Chambers Dictionary’s word of the year in 2014? Even digitally savvy teens think people are divulging TMI online. In a 2015 Pew Research Center survey, 88 percent of teen social media users agreed that people share too much of themselves on social media. Everyone needs to understand the importance of social sharing for your platform—versus oversharing for your ego. A 2015 UCLA study revealed that people who overshare on social media are at a higher risk of being cybershamed. This study suggests oversharing of personal information leads bystanders to blame and not feel for the victim.

Sharing inappropriate material: The Internet is unforgiving. Before texting, tweeting, emailing, posting, or sharing anything, consider how you’d feel if your words or images went viral. Is your human need for approval, for eliciting likes and retweets, driving you to share questionable material? Does the content convey how you truly want to be perceived? You should have zero expectation of privacy when it comes to cyberspace.

Sharing with the wrong people: You should frequently review the settings on your social media accounts and make sure you actually know who are connecting with. Who’s in your Facebook friends and cell-phone contact lists? Do you actually know them? Would you be embarrassed if you accidentally butt-dialed one of them? In 2010, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed November 17 National Unfriend Day, a time to review your contact list and weed out your true friends from your virtual acquaintances. Just because you’ve set your privacy settings as high as possible doesn’t mean you are 100 percent secure from trolls or a friend turned foe. You may believe that you’re only sharing this with your core group, but remember, you don’t always have control over what photos others choose to take and share.

Sharing in haste: People often refer to the phrase, “Think before you post.” I say, “Pause.” It only takes a second to post—and 60 seconds to pause. Take that minute to consider that post before you hit send. Picture yourself in that photo or receiving that email. Is this something that could be embarrassing or humiliating at a later date? Does it reveal too much information? Always ask the permission of others who are in the photo, especially with children, before posting it, and never assume that they have given you permission unless they have. If we’ve heard it once, we’ve heard it a million times—think before you post—but that hasn’t stopped many of us from making digital blunders.

Sharing without dignity: When we see adults, politicians, celebrities, or athletes acting childish or bullish online, it sends the wrong message to our fellow adults and to our kids. Many of these people are role models who our youths look up to. But when we have videos circling of hip hop-stars sniffing cocaine over a woman’s breasts and politicians trashing the reputation of private citizens or getting caught with their digital pants down, like Anthony Weiner, over and over again (and over yet again), we have crossed a line.

Sharing with negativity: I’m sure everyone knows people who use their social media feed as a venting machine. The complaining never stops, whether it’s their bleak life, their horrible job, or their dismal dating scene. Worse is when they impose their negative thoughts on your good fortune—you’ve just landed your dream job, and they make an unenthusiastic remark like, “Not a great company to work for.” Yes, we’ve all experienced the Negative Nellies and Debbie Downers in our world, and we don’t want to be one of them—especially online. From the moment you are given the privilege of your first keyboard, your virtual résumé begins. It’s up to you to maintain and create a positive persona. It’s true, we can’t be happy all the time, and it’s fine to reach out for support in times of grief. But the good news about the Internet, and even your smartphone, is that you can turn it off if you’re having a bad day. Also, never post something in haste or anger that you might later regret—log off instead. I like to say, “When in doubt, click out.” Remember, once you post a comment, a thought or a picture, it is on the internet forever. No matter what you do, you can never totally erase it. Also if you hurt someone, you cannot change that fact either. On last point to remember, colleges are now searching for your posts on line when you apply to their college. They can find posts you thought you erased and those posts may cost you being accepted to a college. This year, Harvard University withdrew their acceptance offers to approximately 100 applicants because of posts they discovered after the acceptance letters had been mailed. Bottom line, on line posting can have very serious negative impacts on your life or other people’s lives that you are not intending to hurt.

Dr. Michael Rubino has over 20 years experience working with teenagers and children. For more information about his work with teenagers or his private practice visit his website www.rcs-ca.com or follow him on Twitter @RubinoTherapy.

Teenagers Need to Earn Respect

Teenagers Need to Earn Respect

This article is slightly different from my other articles. This article is written for teenagers. Parents it would still be beneficial for you to read it, but gave your teenager read it or discuss it with them.

In my office, I hear daily from teenagers how they feel disrespected by their parents. This is common problem between teens and their parents. Teenagers feel disrespected by their parents and that their parents treat them like children. Sometimes this may be true, but overall teens are expecting too much from their parents.

Yes it is true that as teenagers you are becoming young adults and that you should be able to handle more responsibility. The big word in that last sentence is SHOULD. Just because you turn 13 or 16 doesn’t mean you are in charge of your life. You are a YOUNG adult. Noticed I capitalized the word young. There are still a number of life experiences for you to learn and until you do, your parents are responsible for you.

A number of you have heard your parents say when you are 18 you can do as you like and that is the truth. Prior to you turning 18, any trouble you get into, your parents are responsible for it. If you damage property, your parents are legally responsible. If you get arrested and put in Juvenile Hall, your parents receive a bill from the County for the length a time you were in Juvenile Hall.

You may think that you do not need your parents, but you need their permission to drive and basically for anything you want to do. Even if they give you permission to drive and you get your license, they have the ability to have your driver’s license suspended at any time they want while you are under the age of 18. Also if your parents are divorced, both parents must sign the consent for your driver’s license. You cannot play your parents against each other to get your driver’s license.

As I started off, now that you are a teenager you SHOULD be able to handle more responsibility. This responsibility is not an automatic gift you receive when you turn 13. This respect you so desperately want is something you have to earn. How do you earn it? You earn it by respecting the rules that your parents have set and by taking care of your responsibilities – for a teen, your primary responsibility is school. This means going to school on a regular basis, doing your homework and turning it in, earning decent grades and not making poor choices such as drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes, marijuana or vaporizing. You may say this is unfair, well welcome to the adult world.

Ask your parents how many times they have to do something at work they feel is unfair, but if they want their job they have to do it. Ask your parents how many days they get up tired or not feeling well and they would prefer to stay home from work, but they still go to work. They go to work because the have a family to support and bills to pay. Your parents want you to succeed in life. If you feel they really are not giving you enough freedom, then ask your parents if you can discuss this issue with them. However, ask in a mature, respectful manner do not demand a conversation. When you discuss the issue with your parents have some things you have been doing, e.g., your homework, respecting curfew, that demonstrate you can handle more responsibility. Do not just demand it because your friends have it.

Remember the respect and maturity that you want, you must earn. You earn it by respecting your parents, other adults and recognizing that you have responsibilities. You do not get it because you turned 13 or because your friends have it. This can be a difficult time of life, but it can be a time when you learn a lot about the world and yourself. If you remember you need to earn your parents trust and you actively try to do so, your parents will work with you and start to trust you. The choice is yours, you can make your teen years difficult or make them easier by working with your parents – you decide.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist who specializes in treating teenagers. He has over 20 years experience working with teenagers. For more information about Dr. Rubino’s work with teenagers or his private practice visit his website http://www.rcs-ca.com.

Swatting a Danger Associated with on line Gaming

Swatting a Danger Associated with on line Gaming

On line gaming is no longer just a game. On line gaming has now become violent and deadly. Another deadly fact is that many teenagers and parents are not aware of how dangerous on line gaming has become. Most teenagers that I work with view on line gaming as just away to have fun and as away to socialize with people. Many teens see no problems with gaming. Many parents are concerned about on line predators. Unfortunately, most parents do not have many other safety concerns about on line gaming. However, there are reasons why parents should be concerned about their teenagers safety when they are involved with on line gaming.

This last week we heard about on line gaming and “swatting.” Many people may be wondering what is “swatting”? Wikipedia states “Swatting is the harassment tactic of deceiving an emergency service (via such means as hoaxing an emergency services dispatcher) into sending a police and emergency service response team to another person’s address. This is triggered by false reporting of a serious law enforcement emergency, such as a bomb threat, murder, hostage situation, or other alleged incident.” In other words, if someone you are gaming with on line gets angry with you, they make a phony call to 911 trying to get the police or Swat team to show up at your house.

Remember, with on line gaming you can be gaming with people in different cities, states or even other countries. You know nothing about the person expect for what they posted on their on line gaming profile or what they say to you on line. Therefore, you really know nothing about these people. They may have an anger issue, a violent past and there is no way that you can find out. Most teenagers assume they are playing with someone who is interested in the same game and wants to play the game.

However, these people are into on line gaming. Therefore, many of them are very interested in computers and know about coding and hacking. Therefore, while your teenager does not post their address or tell the people they are playing with their address, one of their players can hack into the game system and get their address. They now have the information needed to call 911 and report your teen for a false crime.

Swatting has been occurring for years, however, it has not been widely reported in the news until this last week. A man from Los Angeles called 911 to report someone he was gaming with in Nebraska. Unfortunately, he had the wrong address. The man made several allegations such as he was holding his mother and brother in a closet and was going to shoot them. He also said that he had poured gasoline all over the house and was getting ready to light a match. Now with the increase in shootings and violent attacks in the United States, the police are on high alert. These people making the fake “swat call,” also can make it look like the call is coming from the address they are giving. Now with the Nebraska situation, the prank caller had the wrong address. The man who answered the door had no idea what the police where doing at his house. He made a move towards his waistband, probably to get his wallet, but the police thought he was reaching for a gun. The man was killed. He was 25 years old and a father to a 3 year old child. His family is mourning and his child will grow up without a father because an on line gamer was mad at someone he was gaming with and decided to get payback with a Swat Prank. There is no other way to say this, but this prank is stupid and totally irresponsible. The person doing the prank is putting another family, police officers and their families at risk for a similar tragedy because they got mad about a play on an on line game. If this is where these games are going then they need to be regulated and teenagers should not be playing on line games.

As a psychotherapist who treats teenagers, I hear many teens talk about these games. They like they idea they can connect with other people in other states and countries, but they are not aware of the dangerous. They are still teenagers and assume nothing bad will happen to them. They believe these things may occur but they happen to other people. This is how teenagers think, therefore, parents you must step in. You need to educate your teenagers and possibly prohibit your teenagers from playing these games. This may not be a popular decision, but remember, being a parent is not a popularity contest. Please look into Swatting and other risks associated with on line gaming and do what you feel is in the best interest of your teenager and family.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist who specializes in treating teenagers. He has over 20 years experience treating teenagers. For more information about Dr. Rubino’s work with teenagers or his private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or follow him on Twitter @RubinoTherapy.

Coping with Mental Illness during the Holidays

Coping with Mental Illness during the Holidays

For many people the Holidays can be a stressful time. For some people there is the stress of not having enough money. For others, they lost a loved one this year and this is the first Holiday without their loved one. For others, there are family issues that make this a difficult time of the year. Finally, for people with mental health issues, the Holidays can be a very difficult time.

For people with mental health issues the Holidays can be difficult for many reasons. They may be dealing with family issues, financial issues or not feeling happy. Not feeling happy can be difficult because everyone is supposed to be happy during the Holidays. At least this is what we are told by society. Also some people with mental health issues may find the Holidays difficult because their condition is not stabilized yet or the Holidays can be a trigger for their mental health issues. I see this with the patients I work with who are Bipolar or patients who are dealing with eating disorders. Just to name a couple of mental health issues that are triggered by the Holidays.

People who are suffering with mental health issues that are triggered by the Holidays need support and understanding. You cannot just tell them to pull it together or to take a pill. It is not that easy for them. If it was, they would automatically take those steps on their own to solve the situation.

There are some things that people with mental health issues can do that may help them. Dr. Pooky Knightsman, who deals with her own mental health issues, describes some of these options in her video. I have included a link to it so you can watch it. If you have a loved one who has mental health issues, please watch this video and may be you and suggest some of these ideas to your loved one. If they work that would be fantastic for the person coping with mental health issues. If they do not work, please understand the person is not having issues on purpose. If you love them you need to be patient and understanding and help them through this difficult time. Here is the link to Dr. Knightsman YouTube video https://youtu.be/ch5JLIYyPtU.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with 20 years experience treating children and teenagers many of them are Bipolar. For more information regarding Dr. Rubino’s work or his private practice visit his website http://www.RubinoCounseling.com.

National Suicide Prevention Day

National Suicide Prevention Day

September 10th is National Suicide Prevention Day so here are some facts about suicide. One issue that we need to address is suicide is a mental health issue for children and teenagers that often is ignored. I hope the information in this article helps you understand the issue of suicide. To start off with, I have included an article where six people describe their suicidal feelings and the help they need http://linkis.com/huffingtonpost.co.uk/AlJc2

http://linkis.com/huffingtonpost.co.uk/AlJc2.

In today’s society there has been a significant increase in depression, anxiety and suicide among teenagers and children. In fact, suicide is the third leading cause of death in children 10 to 18 years old. Yes 10 year old children are committing suicide daily. The increase is significant enough that Netflix is running a series about teenagers feeling suicidal. The show is called 13 reasons why. The suicide rate for teenagers has been increasing yearly. It is increasing faster in teenage girls and is considered an epidemic. It is estimated 800,000 people a year commit suicide and approximately 25 times that attempt suicide (CDC). Again, suicide remains the third leading cause of death for kids 10 to 18 years old and it rises every year (CDC).

In my practice I am seeing more and more children and teens reporting they feel depressed, anxious and overwhelmed. One of the main reasons I hear for these feelings is that children feel a great deal of pressure to succeed in school. I have kids in 5th grade and 6th grade worrying about grades. Not because their parents will get mad because if they don’t get As they wont get into a good college and won’t get a good job and won’t be able to afford a house. They only feel like a success if they can make a lot of money. They don’t even consider how compassionate and caring many of them are and the good they offer our world. In their eyes, compassion is nothing if you are not driving a Mercedes.

This is a great deal for a 5th grader or 6th grader to worry about at their age. It is also a terrible way for them to value theirselves. This is how we create Bullies because compassion is looked at as a weakness.

I also see middle school students and high school students involved in several sports and other activities such as Boy Scouts. The kids are feeling pressured to do extracurricular activities not for fun but for their resume. They are again concerned about getting into a good college and being a success. This pressure is not coming from parents either. It is pressure kids are now placing on themselves.

Recent studies are showing a correlation between lack of fun and time to relax with the increase in depression in children and teenagers. A study in Psychology Today discusses this issue. I have included the link so parents can read this study and think about it. Also so you can look at your children and talk with them. See if they are enjoying life or feeling overwhelmed because they need to succeed. Money pays the bills but doesn’t guarantee happiness https://www.psychologytoday.co.

Many parents are not sure what to look for and do not want to over react. If you notice these signs they are indicators that your teen may be feeling suicidal and needs to be assessed by a mental health clinician. The major warning signs are:

• Aggressive behavior

• Verbal outbursts

• Withdrawal from friends

• Writing or talking about suicide

• Dramatic mood swings

• Reckless behavior

• Refusal to engage in daily responsibilities

• Giving way personal items of worth such as jewelry or furniture

If you notice any of these signs don’t be afraid to ask your teenager if they are feeling suicidal or thinking about suicide. Many people have the misconception that if you ask someone about suicide that you will cause them to think about suicide. This is not true. By asking someone if they are feeling suicidal, you are letting them that it is safe for to talk about their feelings, including suicidal feeling. If someone is feeling suicidal it is essential that they feel safe to talk about their feelings an thoughts. Therefore, asking if your teen if they are feeling suicidal will not hurt them, it can help them to talk and possibly

save their life.

I understand that the topic of suicide is scary and something our

society denies and views it as there is something wrong with

anyone feeling suicidal. But the truth is, it is a mental health

issue and it is nothing to be ashamed of. It is also an epidemic for

teenagers. If we want to prevent the number of suicides from

rising and help teenagers who are currently feeling suicidal,

we must talk openly about suicide and seek mental health care for

teenagers who are feeling suicidal.

Dr. Michael Rubino is an expert psychotherapist who works with children and teenagers for over 20 years. For more information about Dr. Rubino and his work visit his website http://www.RubinoCounseling.com

Meet Coco Loco

Meet Coco Loco

Coco Loco is the new way teenagers have found to get a high. This product just entered the United States. It is not being marketed as a drug so the FDA has no authority over it. Teens assume it is safe because it is chocolate and natural.
Since this substance is so new, I have included a link that you can look at so you are more familiar with this substance. https://youtu.be/MV6QIsqA_f4         

While chocolate is one ingredient it also includes ingredients common in energy drinks so the person feels a burst of energy. What is the problem? Since this is not regulated, there is no way to determine the amount of caffeine or other substances used to increase your heart rate are in it. Therefore, if a teen has been drinking a number of energy drinks and then snorts Coco Loco, they won’t know if they have had too much until it is too late.

Increasing your heart rate can be dangerous. Most people who do cardio exercises take their heart rate to make sure their heart rate is in a safe zone and not too fast. When a person’s heart rate is too fast, they can have a heart attack or a stroke just to mention some of the physical dangers. Also if a person ingest too much caffeine they can cause themselves to have a psychotic episode.

The problem with Coco Loco is since it is marketed as “natural” it does not have to comply with the labeling or health codes that substances considered as medical have to follow. If you go to a store such as GNC that tends to sell products to help lose weight or improve your energy level, you will find many of the items do not list ingredients or health warnings. By law they do not have to.

So the problem is that many teenagers may assume this product is totally safe when it is not. The problem is that they may discover this when their hear is beating 200 beats a minute and their health is at risk or they have had too much caffeine and find themselves waking up in the psychiatric ward of a hospital because they had a psychotic episode.

So parents, take a few minutes and discuss Coco Loco with your teenagers. In fact, discuss it with any of your children who are going to school. There is no age restriction on who can buy it and children may not hesitate to try it because it is chocolate. Explain the difference and the risks so they can make a good choice.

Dr. Michael Rubino has over 20 years working as a psychotherapist treating children and teenagers. For more information regarding Dr. Rubino’s work or private practice visit his website at http://www.RubinoCounseling.com.  

Trusting Teenagers to Make Responsible Choices

Trusting Teenagers to Make Responsible Choices

Working with teenagers, I hear very often from parents that they feel their teenager is not responsible and they have concerns about trusting their teenagers. I also hear from teenagers how they are upset with their parents for not trusting them and not allowing them to make decisions. I understand the parents’ concerns, but at times they are being unfair and unrealistic about their ability to control their teenagers’ decisions.
We routinely tell teenagers that they need to be responsible for their choices and actions. However, we seldom allow teenagers the ability to make their own decisions. It is not uncommon that parents have set rules and curfews for their teenagers. Also with the advancement in technology many parents have software installed on their teenagers’ cellphones so they can read their teenagers’ emails or texts. Also they have GPS programs so they can determine where there teenager is and try to figure out what they are doing.

Teenagers are aware that their parents have software programs on their cellphones so they can read their emails or texts or use a GPS program to determine where they are and what they are doing. This usually makes teenagers upset that their parents do not trust them. Teenagers’ tell me if they want me to be responsible how can I be responsible if they do not give me a chance? Also most teenagers have found ways to bypass these programs or they have developed a Texting code so parents will not know what they are texting about to their friends.

Teens there are some facts you need to be realistic about too. You cannot demand that your parents treat you like adults, but if you get into trouble, you want mom and dad to fix it. If you want people to respect your choices and opinions, then you must be prepared to accept the consequences and reactions from other people regarding your choices and opinions. You cannot have it both ways.

The other fact that parents need to accept is you cannot control everything your teenager is doing. You can monitor your teen all you want, but if a teenager wants to do something they will figure out away to do it. Also if you want your teen to be responsible you have to learn to accept their decisions and the consequences that may result from their choices. Additionally, your teenager needs to learn their decisions have consequences and teenagers need to learn to accept the consequences for their actions.

What parents need to do is have a calm conversation with their teenager. During this conversation you discuss issues that your teenager will be facing such as alcohol, drugs, sex and their futures. Explain what you expect and what you are willing to do or not to do. Therefore, they may begin to understand what consequences they will face depending on the decisions they make. They also may start to understand that you will not always be able to solve their problems. If they want to be treated as adults, they need to be able to deal with the consequences of their actions.

This is an important lesson for teenagers to learn. They need to understand that their actions have consequences and they are responsible for dealing with these consequences. One consequence may be that as parents you may be upset with their decision. This is a consequence that they need to be able to accept. Not everyone is going to always accept or approve of your choices. Teenagers need to learn this fact. It is important that they understand that their choices have consequences and they are responsible for their choices.

It is important that parents learn to accept the fact that they cannot control their teenager’s choices. Allowing them to learn from their choices is the best way for them to learn responsibility. It is also away for parents to learn to allow their teenagers to grow up and be responsible adults. Yes at times this may be difficult, but parents need to be realistic that they cannot control their teenager. Also it is better if they make mistakes before they are 18 years old. Typically these mistakes can be resolved easier if they are under 18 years old. When they are over 18 years old, they face the same consequences as a grown adult. Parents it is important to remember that part of your teenager becoming an adult is allowing them to make choices and to learn from those choices. Also the time to start educating them about choices and right and wrong is when your child is in elementary school. If you wait until they are teenagers, they think they know more than they do and they are less likely to listen to you.

Dr. Michael Rubino has over 20 years experience working with teenagers and their families. He is considered an expert working with teenagers. For more information regarding Dr. Rubino’s work and private practice visit his website at http://www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at http://www.Facebook.com/Drrubino3.