Look at the World Today and Teenagers are Acting Normal

Look at the World Today and Teenagers are Acting Normal

Many teenagers and children are reporting increased symptoms of depression and anxiety and being afraid to go outside (CDC). They are also reporting feeling nervous about the future of the world and they feel they are living in chaos right now. They are not sure who to believe at times and they are confused about what is happening in our Country. They are not the only ones feeling this way. Many adults are having the same feelings. If we stop and look around, anyone would be worried and concerned about the future and their safety.

As of today, June 20, 2021, there have been 272 mass shootings and as I am writing this that number is wrong because there was another mass shooting in Oakland, California a couple hours ago. According to the statistics by Gun Violence Archives, 8100 people have been shot so far in 2021 and 54 people a day are killed by guns. According to the Gun Violence Archives in 2019 there were only 164 mass shootings by this time in 2019. This means we have seen a 65% increase in mass shootings in 2021.

In addition, we are seeing other gun violence too. A woman was shot at her job because she asked a customer to wear his mask. Children as young as 6 years old and 4 months have been victims of road rage or drive by shootings. Every day children and teenagers are hearing about more and more people who were shot and died. Why shouldn’t children and teenagers be experiencing more anxiety, depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They are living in a war zone. They children in Israel and the Middle East are safer from gun violence (Gun Violence Archives). This is the United States! This is insane that we are dealing with so much gun violence. It has become a Public Health issue. However, as we see gun violence increasing, the governor of Texas is allowing people to carry guns without having to get a permit. This makes no sense!

In addition to the gun violence, our government is in chaos. We still have people stating Trump won the Presidential Election even though all 50 states have certified that he lost and furthermore the US Supreme Court has certified the election was valid and Trump lost. However, we have Senators blaming the FBI for stealing the election from Trump and they are blaming the FBI for the attack on the US Capital Building. This is confusing and makes people worry about the future of our Nation.

On January 6th, Trump supporters tried to over through our Government. Some Senators claim it was a peaceful protest. However, videos released this week show Trump supporters attacking the US Capital Police and screaming that they were going to hang the Vice President. Two officers were killed and several others have since died from their wounds or have committed suicide due to PTSD. These officers saved our Country, yet some Senators state it was a peaceful protest and they refused to grant the officers the Congressional Gold Medal and they have refused to authorize a committee to investigate this attack on our Nation. This is an insult to the US Capital Police and it leaves our Country at risk for another mass of protestors to attack our Country. Numerous Congressmen and Senators who have told the truth about that day and the election have received numerous death threats and need additional security to ensure their safety and lives.

In addition to all this chaos, we have been dealing with a extremely deadly virus for the last year. Children and teenagers have not been able to go to school, see friends and many have had numerous deaths in their families. Over 540,000 Americans have died from the Coronavirus Pandemic. We now have vaccinations which will help stop the spread of this virus, however some people are refusing to get vaccinated due to bizarre theories by Qanon and there is no scientific evidence to back up any of their reasons. Also some people are claiming we have beat the Coronavirus. We have not beat the virus! The strain coming from India is much more dangerous and lethal. The vaccines can help stop the spread of this strain and stop further mutations. Remember children under 12 have not been vaccinated yet. Therefore, children are at risk of being attacked by this new strain. Despite what people say, children do get the Coronavirus and they are at risk of developing a rare condition where their immune systems attack their bodies. Children have died from the Coronavirus and more will die this winter if we refuse to get vaccinated and allow the virus to spread.

People may think children and teenagers are not aware of these issues but they are very aware of these issues. They can see the pop ups on their cellphones, iPads and laptops. They are searching the internet about all the chaos that is occurring in our Country. During their sessions I have had children and teenagers discussing all of these issues because they are worried about their safety and the safety of their families. Many children and teenagers have lost loved ones due to the Coronavirus or gun violence and they do not want to lose more family members. Furthermore, they are looking at the fact that we cannot keep order in our Country and questioning how are we going to keep them safe. As a result, many children and teenagers are suffering from depression, anxiety, trauma and some do not want to leave their homes. How can we blame them?

There is nothing wrong with children and teenagers today who are reacting to the chaos they are being forced to live in. They are perfectly sane and having sane reactions. The inappropriate reactions are coming from adults who refuse to stand up and demand that our Government acts and acts quickly. When we allow these shootings or people to disrespect someone because they are telling someone they need to wear a mask or we do nothing to stop the hate crimes against Asians, Jewish people and Transgender people, we are part of the problem. Anytime we see someone being disrespectful or spreading these insane theories we must speak up. We must speak up so our children and teenagers have a chance of feeling safe and not being killed by a gun. Children and teenagers are not over reacting. Adults are under reacting and not holding our elected officials responsible for not acting. Adults are responsible for not setting an example in public and treating everyone with the dignity they deserve. We are all people and everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect not hate or punished because they will not lie for people who choose to believe in and follow a narcissistic man who only caress about himself. The choice is yours do you want your children and teenagers to feel safe or to live in fear and believe there is no hope for the future.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers and trauma victims including first responders. For more information about his work visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify and Apple.

Helping Kids Cope with Today’s World

Helping Kids Cope with Today’s World

We are expecting children and teenagers to cope with and adjust to a a number of teenagers. One main issue is the pandemic and Coronavirus. They have had to deal with remote learning and then all of a sudden they are expected to go back to school. In addition to the changes in school many teenagers are dealing with the deaths of parents, grandparents and other people close to them. In addition they were locked in their houses for a year without being able to see friends. This is a lot for children and teenagers to adjust to.

Now we are starting to reopen the Country and children and teenagers again have to cope with mass shootings again. Therefore, they are dealing with more people dying and afraid that they may be killed too. As of today, June 13th, there have been 270 Nass shootings. This is a significant increase from 2019. We have experienced a 65% increase in Nass shootings since 2019 and the year is only half over (Gun Violence Archive).

Teenagers and children are also seeing a tremendous increase in violence in our Country. Hate crimes against Asian Americans have increased significantly and so have hate crimes against people who are Jewish (CDC). In addition there is violence occurring around people having to wear face masks in certain situation. A flight attendant on Southwest Airlines had her front teeth punched out of her mouth by a passenger because she asked him to wear a masks. Besides people arguing about face masks, they are arguing about the Coronavirus vaccinations which ever Public Health Professional states we need to overcome this pandemic. However, we are hearing people purpose crazy ideas such as the vaccinations will make you magnetic and Bill Gates has placed mico chips in the vaccines. The pandemic is scary enough without people making up insane conspiracies that may scare children.

Add to these issues such things as the violent attack on the US Capital Building and we have children and teenagers living in a chaotic environment. To add to the pressure we are expecting children and teenagers to simply adjust to all the chaos. We expect them to ignore it and go on like nothing has changed. Children and teenagers are expected to be able to achieve at school and not act out due to the chaos in their lives.

It’s not realistic and it’s not happening. There is a significant increase in the number of teenagers and children reporting anxiety disorders and depression. Additionally, we have seen an increase in the number of teenagers committing suicide and dying from drug overdoses. Teenagers and children are desperately looking for a peaceful environment. In my office we have seen an increase by a factor of 20 of teenagers and children seeking therapy due to the chaos. We must provide teenagers and children with mental health care and sane gun laws to help them cope with this chaos they are experiencing.

I have included a link to an article which provides suggestions parents can try to help their children and teenagers cope with the chaos we are living in currently. https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/57946/striving-or-thriving-steps-to-help-kids-find-balance-and-purpose.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers and trauma victims. For more information regarding his work visit his website http://www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at http://www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

High School Graduation is an Emotional Time Especially this Year

High School Graduation is an Emotional Time Especially this Year

This year many schools are having graduation ceremonies. Due to the success of the vaccines, the CDC has acknowledged that it would be safe to hold graduation ceremonies. This is very different from last year when graduation ceremonies were canceled due to the Coronavirus. While schools are having graduation ceremonies, they will most likely be different for the graduates. It will be different because for many of the graduates the last year and half they were attending school remotely. For many students they returned to school for the last two months of the school year. While the class of 2021 did not have the typical path through school, they still completed school and deserve to celebrate with family and friends at their graduations. The Coronavirus will most likely make this year’s graduations different than past years, it is still a time to honor the graduates of 2021. For many graduates their graduation may not be what they expected due to the death of a parent, grandparent or someone else in their lives due to the Coronavirus.

As I stated for many high school graduates, this year graduation ceremonies will be somewhat differently emotionally. However, High School graduation still marks a big accomplishment for teenagers. They have finished their basic education and they are ready to move on to their life plans as a young adult. For many students this means going to a four year college and earning a Bachelors degree. In addition, many graduates will be celebrating scholarships they received and awards they received for their academic or other accomplishments in high school. They also have friends and family there to join them in celebrating their accomplishments. Of course this is a happy day and it deserves to be celebrated.

While this is the stereotype we think about regarding graduation, it’s not the reality for every student. Some students have worked very hard and maintained very good grades, but they did not get accepted into a college they can afford and they did not receive any awards or scholarships. Instead of going to a four year university, they will need to attend the local two year junior college and try to transfer into a four year university. Other students who have learning disabilities are just barely graduating and had to wait to the last minute to see if the past all of their classes. Some did not pass and they have to go to summer school so they may be allowed to participate in the ceremony but they are not finished yet. These students do not get to live the stereotype and often feel embarrassed and ashamed when they compare themselves to the other students in their graduating class.

I had also mentioned celebrating with family and friends. For some students this can be very difficult. If their parents had a hostile divorce, the divorce may be being dragged into the graduation. Instead of a celebration, the parents may be making the graduation a civil war. The graduate may be forced to take sides in regards to who they can invite to the ceremony. Do they invite mom’s side or dad’s side. This can change a happy event into a very stressful event the graduate does not want to be involved in. For some graduates a mother or father has passed away and graduation day is another reminder that this very special person is no longer physically present. Therefore, graduation may be a stressful or sad day.

Another aspect that is overlooked is graduation is an ending. It marks the end of a teenager’s high school experience. Many teens have been very involved with their school and have developed close relationships with teachers and school staff and they have developed very close friendships with their classmates. Graduation marks an end to their high school life. They need to say goodbye to these people and move on to a school they do not know and may not know anyone else who is attending their college. I remember one high school secretary’s comment when she looked at the senior class, “I have never seen so many kids look so happy and sad at the same time”.

In addition to saying goodbye to their high school family, graduates need to say goodbye to their families. If they are going away to school, they will no longer living with their parents or siblings. While they may complain about their families, they will miss them too. Mom and Dad will miss their graduated too. So while traditional we tend to only focus on the positive, which is not uncommon for our society, we also need to acknowledge that graduation marks an ending too. An ending to their high school family, friends they have created and to their high school activities along with a change in the graduates life. They no longer are a high school kid. They are a college student and a young adult and need to start their lives all over. This will have happy moments and sad one too. It’s important to acknowledge both.

While high school students will be starting their lives over, I have included a small segment of a speech by Martin Luther King, Jr. It empathizes that you need to define yourself, don’t let others try to decide who are going to be in life https://www.facebook.com/goalcast/videos/1294330473977473?s=1391497228&v=e&sfns=mo.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and adolescents. He has appeared on television and radio shows and is considered an expert in adolescent psychology. For more information regarding his work or private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com, www.rcs-ca.com or his Facebook page www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

Texting the New Way Teenagers Communicate

Texting the New Way Teenagers Communicate

In today’s world texting has become a very common way for people to communicate with each other, especially for teenagers. Before the Coronavirus, when I would go to a baseball game or the theater, I would see adults texting the entire time. I have even seen people fired via text. We also had a President who made major announcements via Twitter. His actions made teenagers feel that Texting is normal. Additionally, it’s no surprise teenagers today feel texting is the normal way to communicate. One reason is because they grew up with it and everyone is texting. Any teenager today is part of what I refer to as the IPhone generation. Since these kids were born there have been Smartphones that they have been using. Therefore, texting or having instant access to information via the internet is normal to them. They never have seen an encyclopedia or a card catalog at a library. The teenagers I currently see for psychotherapy, use texting as their primary way of communicating with each other. Besides texting by Smartphones, teenagers also now text each other as they play video games online. Try removing a teenager’s Smartphone or gaming console so they cannot use them or text, many teens become very upset and some even become violent. Additionally many parents don’t feel texting is really communicating, however adults need to pay attention to how often they text people.

While technology is advancing at a fast pace, our laws and ethics are having a difficult time keeping up with the latest advances. However, when laws are passed or ethical standards set, many teenagers and adults are not aware of the new laws. This is creating a tremendous problem for teenagers and their families. I have worked with many teenagers who are struggling with an issue, such as being accused of threatening someone via text, but they had no idea they were doing anything inappropriate.

Additionally now we have the Coronavirus pandemic and teenagers have been attending school remotely and were not able to hang out with friends like they did before the pandemic. Therefore, for many teenagers texting has become their lifeline helping them stay in touch with their friends. Again these teenagers have grown up with texting so it’s normal to communicate via text. Many parents don’t understand how texting is the same as talking to another person. However, remember when you were in High School most teenagers spent hours on the telephone because we couldn’t text.

Something that it is important for teenagers to remember is that any time you post something online, tweet or text, it is on the internet forever. Some teens will say when they text it’s just from phone to phone. However, it remains on the phone forever and also on the server that provides your cellphone service. In other words, someone can get your text history from Verizon. This is why many celebrities have won very large monetary judgements against people who have posted false or embarrassing material on the internet. You can remove it from the site it was posted to, but it still can found on other sites. Therefore, if a teenager post something, they need to think about the fact that it will be out there forever and anyone can see it. This may lead to embarrassing situations.

Most teens worry about their grades and after school activities because they do not want to wreck their chance of getting into the University of their choice. However, many teenagers are not aware that many colleges check social media sites and the internet when they apply. The schools search for the applicant’s sites but also search to see if the applicant is on friend’s sites. They look at your pictures and opinions and decide do they feel they want you representing their school to the world. They can get your text history depending on how closely they choose to examine your background.

Let’s consider the most common problems that teenagers encounter with texting. The first one is texting sexually explicit photographs to their boyfriend/girlfriend. At the time they think it is no big deal. However, high school romances typically do not last. If one of the individuals feels hurt, they can post that sexually explicit picture all over the Internet. It can be sent to their families and friends. In fact, their entire school could see it. This would be extremely embarrassing. Even if the person who posted the picture is punished, the picture is still out there and the damage is done.

Additionally, teenagers fail to think about the fact that they are under 18 years old. Therefore, they are violating child pornography laws by texting the picture or by receiving it and having a copy on their cellphone. In fact, Congress is trying to pass stricter laws regarding teenagers texting sexually explicit picture. Therefore, besides being very embarrassed, the teenagers involved might find themselves facing legal charges for violating child pornography laws.

The second major issue is harassment. Friends get mad at each other or often one teenager is singled out and they become the object of numerous texts telling them they are ugly, no one likes them etc. These texts can be sent so often and by some many other teenagers that the teen who is the target commits suicide. There are numerous examples of this and a common one is accusing a teenager of being gay. This is not harmless teenage game playing. This harassment can be vicious. They are also cases where the teenagers sending these texts have been charged with stalking or more serious charges if the teenager committed suicide.

When this occurs, the teenagers are shocked. They think they were just teasing another kid and it was harmless. They have no idea what this teenager is already dealing with in their life or what it can be like to have numerous classmates texting you every day all day long. It is not harmless teasing, but because technology has increased so quickly it is not the same teasing that use to occur at school. We have not had enough time to think about this point.

Another major issue is that texting is an excellent way for schools or police to arrest teenagers for dealing drugs, buying or using drugs. I have worked with many teenagers from numerous schools where the school catches someone using or selling marijuana on school grounds. The school then checks the student’s cellphone and looks at the text history. The school then starts calling in the student’s on the text history and asking about drug use or selling. One teenager getting caught at school can result in ten teenagers being expelled. The teenagers are usually in shock. First, they never thought they were doing anything wrong and they never thought a text could get them in trouble. However, it can and it does. I have seen many teenagers for psychotherapy because of a text found by the school.

Finally, new research is showing that texting is increasing the rate of depression in teenagers. Texting creates more access in some ways, however, it is isolating too. When you text you lose the personal interaction which is very important. People do need personal interaction for their mental health. When teenagers text they miss out on the personal interaction. This can and does at times lead to a lonely feeling. If a teenager is already having a hard time and then they experience of feeling isolated too, this can lead to depression. Research is showing an increase in teenage depression and I am seeing an increase in the number of teenagers I am seeing for depression. Therefore, we need to take a closer look at teenagers and texting.

So we are facing a difficult situation. Teenagers today tend to use texting as their primary way of communication. Given the pandemic we are dealing with at this time it makes sense for them to text each other. However, our ethics have not kept up with technology and there are a number of ways teenagers can get into trouble texting. Additionally, research indicates that texting can increase the feelings of isolation and depression in teenagers. Feeling many teenagers and trying to avoid during the Coronavirus pandemic. One way they feel that helps them is texting friends. However, this maybe incorrect according to the research. Therefore, parents are facing a difficult situation when it comes to their teenagers texting each other.

At this point, my professional opinion is that parents sit down with their teenagers and discuss the pros and cons about texting and that parents limit texting to an hour everyday. Additionally, you may want to set up an agreement where your teenager allows you to monitor their texting in away that is comfortable for you and your teenager. Remember to be patient during this conversation because everyone is dealing with stress due to the pandemic.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with 20 years of experience working with children and teenagers. He also treats Internet addiction. For more information on Dr. Rubino’s work or his private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

Mental Health Care in 2021 in the United States

Mental Health Care in 2021 in the United States

The month of May is dedicated to mental health awareness. I decided to use this opportunity to frankly discuss the mental health care system in the United States and what many families and patients have to go through and often not receive any help. Unfortunately, this is very common that many teenagers and adults fail to receive mental health care or receive inadequate mental health care.

Many people assume that the United States provides the best physical and mental health care in the world. However, this is not the case. One example of this fact comes from the ABC News Show 20/20. An Olympic Athlete had been living with Bipolar Disorder for over 20 years and never diagnosed. She had been reporting difficulties with depression for years, but her complaints were dismissed. The alarming fact is that even though her brother committed suicide due to being Bipolar her symptoms were dismissed. We know that Bipolar Disorder is inherited and suicide tends to run in families. In other words, if a family member committed suicide it puts you at a higher risk for suicide. The family never discussed the brother’s suicide due to shame associated with suicide and mental illness. Therefore, clinicians treating her may never have been told that her brother committed suicide. The Athlete and her husband asked for help for 10 years and despite the fact she had all the symptoms and a family history of Bipolar, no one diagnosed her. She lives in the United States, her brother committed suicide because he was Bipolar and it still took 10 years for her to be diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and not dismissed by psychiatrist as someone who was over reacting. Now that she is diagnosed she is dealing with the shame of being Bipolar. However, the shame associated with mental illness and suicide might have contributed to her not being diagnosed earlier. Often patients come in to my office for help, but I may not get all the vital information for months because the patient is embarrassed and worried how I might react to their family history.

We often hear parents complain that their teenager is driving them crazy or a teenager complaining how unfair their parents are to live with on a daily basis. Many people assume this is normal life with a teenager. However, according to the CDC, one out of five teenagers have a diagnosable mental health condition and would benefit from psychotherapy. The parents of these teenagers are begging for help, but they are ignored. Many people assume they are over reacting. Furthermore, there is a strong negative stereotype about mental health in our Country and people prefer not to be associated with someone who has a mental health issue. Many people act like mental health issues are catchy and a sign of weakness and lower intelligence. None of these ideas are true. In fact, many very famous people have mental health issues themselves or in their families.

Therefore, you have some parents begging anyone who will listen for help. You also have teenagers who are crying out for help by cutting themselves or acting out trying to get people’s attention. Many of us assume if the parents are begging or the teenager is cutting themselves that they will receive mental health care. Unfortunately, this is not how our world works. I have been working as a psychotherapist who treats teenagers for over 20 years. There have been many times I could not have a suicidal teenager hospitalized because the hospital had no beds for a suicidal teenager or the insurance refused to authorize the admission to the hospital.

This is a very important point for people to understand. As the psychotherapist, I do not determine the treatment plan for a teenager or child. Your insurance company dictates the treatment plan. They have decided what diagnosis they will cover and what treatment modalities they will pay for. Additionally, they decide how much they will pay. I have seen some teenagers and the insurance would only allow $25 per session. Many people assume the insurance company pays psychotherapist or hospitals their entire fee. They pay the psychotherapist or hospital the rate they decide. If the psychotherapist wants to work with that insurance company they must agree to accept the insurance company’s rate. This is why health care providers always ask for your copay. The copay is part of the rate. If the insurance rate is $50 and your copay is $25, if the provider does not collect your copayment, the insurance only pays $25. This is why many providers do not accept insurance. They dictate the course of therapy even though they no nothing about the teen and they under pay the provider. Insurance companies make a great deal of money by charging high premiums and refusing to pay for treatment. This is not fair or appropriate.

Therefore, parents are seeking help, but they are told they need to contact someone else, they have contacted the wrong place. For example, one Thanksgiving I had a mother have my answering service page me and she was begging me for help because her teen was suicidal. I referred her to the County hospital because based on what she said the teen needed to be hospitalized. She told me the County hospital gave her my telephone number because they had no more beds for anyone who was suicidal. The parents tell me they feel like no one cares. She did everything she should have, but she could not get help. Her son needed to be hospitalized for his safety, but the hospital refused to admit him.

Again, some people might believe this is an isolated case. Sadly this is not an isolated case. As I said, I specialize in treating suicidal, bipolar and teens who are trauma victims. There have been a number of times I have sent a suicidal teen by ambulance from my office to the County hospital only to have the teen released in less than an hour because the hospital had no beds. I had one person on the Psychiatric Crises Unit tell me on the telephone unless the person had a shotgun in their mouth not to send them to the Hospital because they had no beds for suicidal teens. The hospital only has a couple of beds for suicidal teenagers based on the State budget. Anytime cuts need to be made to the State budget, mental health is always the first area to be cut.

As a result of budget cuts and insurance companies denying treatment, the therapist in a difficult position. Do you just discharge the teen or do you continue to treat the teen for a low fee or for free? Remember 1 out of 5 teens have a psychological condition that needs treatment, what do you do when treatment is denied or there are no treatment options? Besides 1 out of 5 teens needing mental health care, the CDC has recently moved suicide from the third leading cause of death to the second leading cause of death for children 10 to 18 years old. Therefore, there are many teens who desperately need mental health care and may die without it. Also, when you examine the results further you find that teens who need therapy but fail to receive it are more likely to get involved with drugs, crime, are more likely to drop out of school, more likely to get pregnant or father a child and that child is more likely to become a foster child. These teens are also more likely to end up on probation, homeless and on welfare.

As a society we do not place much emphasis on mental health care. Mental health care programs are always some of the first programs cut when the budget is cutback. Our priorities need to be examined. I find I t very interesting that Contra Costa County had enough money to build a new Juvenile Hall, which is three times the size of the old Juvenile Hall, but there was not enough money to fund a large number of mental health services which had to be cut.

We often look at teens who are acting out and blame their parents. We ask why don’t they get their child the help they need? What stops them from helping their teenager? Why is the teen always getting involved with drugs or not going to school? The answer could be because the teen needs mental health care and the parents have been and continue to try to get their teen help but their is no help. The teen may be acting out because they are tired of asking for help and being in pain so they start looking for the easiest way out of pain.

If we want our teenagers to grow up to become productive members of society then we need to provide them with the mental health care they need. If we want parents to be responsible parents, then we need to provide parents options for how to get their teens help when they ask for it.

With the number of mass shootings, the significant increase in the number of children with anxiety disorders and the epidemic of teenagers cutting and teenage suicide, I am surprised we have not made it easier and more affordable for teenagers to get adequate mental health care. In addition to the issues I stated above, the Coronavirus has created a number of mental health issues for children and teenagers. Grief due to the death of family members, drug use and overdoses have increased and so have anxiety and depression increased due to the pandemic. However, I don’t see any plans to deal with the large number of teenagers who are going to need help. I have seen a significant increase in the number of teenagers needing mental health care since the Pandemic started. I have also seen insurance companies refusing to cover mental health, so what do we do?

I have been treating teens for over 20 years and it is still a problem to get a teenager residential care if they need it. Also it is still difficult to get teens medication at an affordable price. I had a teen the other day who needs medication but they had no medical coverage to see a psychiatrist. The parent made an appointment but the fee for the visit was $450 and they would not reduce the fee. So again what do they do?

We can write our Congressmen and Senators and demand that they fund community mental health centers. We can also demand that private insurance companies be required to offer teenagers and their families adequate mental health benefits based on what professional therapists are recommending. The professional treating the child knows what the child needs not some clerical worker with a Bachelors degree who is answering phone calls at the insurance company.

In short, if we want our teenagers to survive their teen years we all need to act together and demand that our children receive the treatment they need and deserve. Mental health care is not a dirty word. There is no difference between mental health and physical health. Therefore, they needed to be treated the same and we need to eliminate the stigma associated with mental health issues.

Finally, private insurance companies make huge profits and drive the cost of health care up based on how they do business. If we don’t start to speak up for our kids, they will never receive the care they need. Look at your next pay stub and look at how much you pay for health insurance and compare that to the benefits you receive. When you take your teenager to a psychotherapist most insurance companies only pay the therapist $75. Your copay is part of the payment. Your premiums are high, but they do not pay it out to providers they keep it.

Dr Michael Rubino has over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers dealing with anxiety, depression and trauma. To find out more about Dr Michael Rubino and his private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify and Apple

Leave Your Divorce at Home and Don’t Take it to Your Teen’s Graduation

Leave Your Divorce at Home and Don’t Take it to Your Teen’s Graduation

Last year due to the Coronavirus most graduations either were canceled or occurred virtually. This year due to the the success of the vaccines, many schools are having graduation ceremonies. This is fantastic for High School students and college students. However, if a High School Senior’s parents are divorced, their High School Graduation can create a number of problems. This article address the issues associated with divorce and High School Graduation and provides some solutions to the issues.

Divorce brings a lot of new situations in to a people’s lives especially if you have children. Hopefully, when you and your spouse divorced it was done in a civil manner and the children were not put in the middle of the divorce. This is the ideal situation, however, we do not always get the ideal situation. Very often divorces are high conflict and the two of you argue over everything and anything. Usually in these high conflict divorces, the children are put in the middle and used as weapons. The children feel they have to choose between their mother and their father. This is a very sad situation.

This conflict usually interferes with visitations and holidays too. Parents argue about pick up times and drop off times, how long they have the children for holidays and there is often arguments about can a child bring toys or clothes from Dad’s house to Mom’s house. In short, parents argue about everything and the children become sick and tired of the arguing.

The other factor that adds to this is grandparents saying negative things about the ex wife or ex-husband. This only increases the pressure and stress the children are dealing with after a divorce.

The final stressor is when one or both parents remarry or have a long term boyfriend or girlfriend. Then the arguments about she is not my child’s mother or he is not my child’s father and I don’t want them involved in my child’s life start. Also a new girlfriend or boyfriend can cause teens to argue with their parents because they want their parents back together.

In short in a high conflict divorce, children live in a war zone. They become use to arguing about everything and often feel they must choose sides. At times some children do choose sides hoping to end the fighting or because they are so confused. This type of divorce creates a great deal of issues for children and I cannot cover all the issues in this blog. I would need a book to cover all the issues. Most the time, teens become sick and tired of the fighting and wish that their parents would stop fighting so they could at least not have to worry about what will cause the next argument.

Graduation is one of those issues. Parents will often start arguing about issues such as, “I paid for everything you needed for high school and now your father wants to come.” Or “if your mother shows up, after everything she has done, I won’t be in the same room as her.” And of course there is always the issue of “he better not bring her to my child’s graduation.” What is a teenager to do?

They have spent the last four years working very hard in high school and graduation is a day for them to celebrate their accomplishment. They also usually want the people who they love and care about to be there with them to celebrate their accomplishment. However, how does this happen when Mom and Dad and grandparents are stating their terms about who can attend graduation and how graduation day will go because of the divorce.

Your teenager did not get divorced. You and your spouse divorced and even though you are no longer married, you are both still parents for your teenager and you need to act like parents and adults. This means putting aside all your feeling and issues so your teenager can truly celebrate their day, their graduation. Most parents have told their teens to stop being selfish and to think about someone else, at some point during High School. Well isn’t it time that you followed your own advice. Stop thinking about yourselves and your divorce and think about your teenager and how you can make your teenager’s graduation a happy day for them.

What you need to do is you and your ex spouse need to sit down together or email each other and discuss how the two of you can put your issues on hold for one day so your teenager can have what they deserve, a happy graduation. The two of you need to talk with grandparents too and other extended family and inform them what will be allowed and what will not. This doesn’t mean you have to act like best friends. You simply need to be civil to each other. If you don’t think you can sit next to each other at the graduation, then one of you sits on the left and one sits on the right. You don’t have to have a joint party either. You can decide to have separate parties. The key is communicating with each other before the graduation and decide how you can do it civilly. This will be the best graduation present that you can give your teenager. If you can allow them to have their graduation day to celebrate their accomplishment without having to worry about what fight there will be. You are also teaching them a lesson about love, being parents and relationships.

The most important thing to do is remember this is a celebration. So let your teenager celebrate and allow yourselves to celebrate with your teenager as their mother and father. Remember the divorce ended your marriage not your relationship together as parents. Do not allow your divorce to deprive you from enjoying your child’s High School graduation day with them. They only graduate from high school once.

Dr. Michael Rubino has 20 years experience working with teenagers and families coping with divorce. He is an expert in providing psychotherapy treatment for children and teenagers. For more information about Dr. Rubino or his private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

Do We Value Children’s Lives or Guns?

Do We Value Children’s Lives or Guns?

During 2020, we heard very little about mass shootings and shootings at schools because of the Coronavirus Pandemic. Due to the quarantine rules, most people stayed at home and we did not hear about mass shootings. Instead we heard about how many people were contracting the Coronavirus and dying from it. We were hearing about how many families were being destroyed by the Coronavirus forever. Therefore, we were not paying attention to the issue of mass shootints. Instead we were worrying about how we were going to survive the Coronavirus pandemic, when former President Trump was choosing to ignore it.

Now we are starting to gain control over the Coronavirus and starting to open the country. As we do start to open the Country up, the issue of mass shootings are becoming an issue again. I have written many articles about mass shootings. In November of 2019, I wrote my last article about mass shootings and I was hoping and praying it was my last. However, my hopes and prayers were not answered in the way I had hoped they would be answered. Looking back to November of 2019, as of July 31, 2019, there were 248 mass shootings, 246 people killed and 979 injured. Given the number of shootings in 2019, it averaged out to a mass shooting every 1.2. days. Those statistics were valid until July 31st. However in November 2019, there were three more shootings in California, Texas and Ohio. Therefore, there were 250 mass shootings in 2019.

Since we have reopened the Country, there have been 126 mass shootings, 148 people killed, 481 people injured for a total of 629 victims so far in 2021 (CDC). The first mass shooting was in March of this year in Atlanta. It’s a month later and we already have 126 mass shootings for 2021. Our US Capital has been attacked twice in 2021 and with all this violence the republicans in the Senate refuse to vote for safe and sane gun laws. What are we doing in the United States?

Let’s look back at the history of the mass shooting issue. As of November 15, 2019, which was the 319th day of the year there had been 336 mass shootings. The statistics for 2019 list 1347 killed in 2019 in mass shooting and 1,684 people injured. These statistics don’t account for how many families have been changed forever and how many first responders will be dealing with trauma reactions. Why did we allow the issue to get that big? When will we take action?

Initially after the first mass shootings, the former President said we would definitely be taking action and there would be universal background checks. He then made a public statement from the Oval Office that there would be no universal background checks. The former President stated the background checks we currently have are enough to keep us safe. He also publicly stated that the people who helped him win the election would not be happy with universal background checks. He had been speaking to the chairman of the NRA that day. Therefore it appeared the money the NRA donates to republican campaigns is more important than the children of the United States.

Another sad fact about the history of mass shootings is that the House of Representatives passed several sane gun laws. For months Mitch McConnell, the leader of the Senate, had held these bills on his desk just letting them sit so the Senate could not vote on them. Children and teenagers were being killed daily and a possible solution was sitting on Senator McConnell’s desk and he refuses to allow the Senate to debate and vote on the gun laws. His excuse was he was waiting for permission from former President Trump.

The former President initially said he would support sane gun laws and then he is tried to say it simply was a mental health issue. By doing so he did not help the issue and he reinforced the negative stigma about mental health in our country. When he referred to mental health issues, he called the people “sick” and stated that they needed to be locked up. The research clearly shows that people with mental health issues pose a danger to themselves by cutting or committing suicide. The research clearly shows that people with mental health issues are rarely dangerous to society. The Director of the American Psychiatric Association issued a statement stating the same information.

Mental health is not an issue causing mass shootings, hate is the issue. In fact the FBI was able to arrest three men planing mass shootings. One of the men arrested issued a statement that he was planing the shooting because he hated anyone who was not white. He was also at the Charlottesville protest and stated to a reporter he believed in only a nation for white people and was advocating killing anyone who was Jewish. This man was not being labeled as mental ill. He was being charged with charges related to a Hate crime. Again in order to be charged with a Hate crime you must be attacking someone because you hate them due to their ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation etc. The Klu Klux Klan has held rallies and have been accused of killing people for years, but no one in the group is labeled mentally ill. The KKK is labeled as a hate group.

So when I have children coming into my office saying they are afraid of being killed at school and the mass shooter drills scare them, what do I say to them? How can I say we are doing everything we can to protect them, when our government is not doing anything. How can I say don’t worry when mass shooting are reoccurring and more students are being killed at schools? Children have easy access to the news via their smartphones and the internet. They are aware of what is occurring and who is being honest with them or lying to them. For therapy to work, the children need to trust me. If I lie, they will not trust me. Again, with the statistics I cited for this year alone, how can I tell a child there is nothing to worry about.

The other issue is how do parents get children and teenagers to come to a psychotherapist’s office. The former President has been on national television stating and he continues to state in his speeches that all mass shooting is due to mental illness. He refers to the people as “sick puppies” and that they need to be “locked up in asylums.” He continues to reinforce the negative stereotype regarding psychotherapy. Therefore, teenagers and children will be worried that their parents are taking them to my office to be locked up. Many teenagers need psychotherapy for mental health issues such as depression. According to the CDC, one out of five children need psychotherapy. Anxiety disorders and depression have increased significantly since the Pandemic. Cutting is an epidemic in teenagers and children too. I have children as young as 10 who self- mutilate. Also suicide was the third leading cause of death for kids 10 to 18 years old. In the last few months, the CDC changed suicide from the third leading cause of death to the second leading cause of death. There are many children who need psychotherapy, but will be afraid of being locked up and will fight their parents about going to therapy.

Also what about the people who experienced a mass shooting, their family and friends and the first responders, their lives have been changed for ever. They are going to need years of psychotherapy to cope with their PTSD. However, besides be labeled as a victim, they are not going to want to be looked at as a “sick puppy” because they need therapy. This is what they will think and feel because of how the former President and Republican Senators have responded to mass shootings. We already have survivors of mass shootings and family members committing suicide because they cannot stand the pain. We have seen the same thing from veterans committing suicide because they did not have access or were embarrassed to seek psychotherapy. When will we learn? When will we stop demonizing mental health?

Since it appears the former President refused to act, we need to learn from the high school students from the Parkland, Florida shooting and take action ourselves. Remember by acting you may be saving the life of your child or a loved one. Call the Senators for your state and demand sane gun laws and if they are too afraid of the NRA, you will vote against them in the next election.

Some people will say I have no right to be writing this article. However, I see and hear the kids crying daily because they are afraid of being killed or their parents being killed. I also am trained in Critical Indent Debriefing and trauma therapy. I am tired of hearing how the first responders lives are being changed and the night terrors they experience. I am not afraid of the NRA. We have a huge problem with hate and race in our Nation that must be addressed. Also we also do not have adequate mental health services in our Nation. This is why the suicide rate went from the 3rd leading cause of death to the second leading cause of death for kids. Mental health issues is not causing the mass shootings! If it was we would have had the problem in the 1970s and 1980s, but we didn’t.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over twenty years experience treating children and teenagers. He is also trained to treat victims of trauma and to do Critical Incident Debriefing. For more information regarding Dr. Rubino visit his website http://www.RubinoCounseling.com or Facebook page www.Facebook.com/drrubino3

Do Children Need to Learn that Violence and Death are Now Normal in the United States?

Do Children Need to Learn that Violence and Death are Now Normal in the United States?

When will we learn that we need sane and safe gun laws? People must take a test in order to get a driver’s license and you must wear a seatbelt in a car. The government has not stopped people from driving or eliminated cars due to these laws that make driving safer. Therefore, if we have laws regarding driving and alcohol, how would safe and sane gun laws pose a threat to guns? We have safety laws regarding numerous activities and people still enjoy them and own things. Again, if we can do this with other aspects of our society, why can’t we implement safe and sane gun laws? Or are we ready to accept mass shootings as a normal every day event?

Due to the Coronavirus pandemic and the country being on lock down, the mass shooting significantly dropped. In fact there were no mass shooting in the United States after April 2020. However, mass shootings have been occurring in the United States since 1999. According to the CDC mass shooting have been increasing every year from 2010 to 2019. In fact, in 2019 there was a mass shooting every 1.2 days. There were so many we started to become numb to the news when a shooting occurred.

Since the last shootings occurred in 2019, many people thought maybe mass shooting were no longer an issue. However, now that we have started to reopen the country, mass shootings have returned as an issue. On March 26, 2021, we had the first mass shooting in Atlanta, Georgia. Two weeks later, there was another mass shooting in Boulder, Colorado. Again with both shootings, there were more senseless killings. Considering over 525,000 Americans have died due to the Coronavirus, we do not need anymore unnecessary deaths in our Country.

We are a Country of grief! People who lost loved ones in mass shootings before 2019 are still grieving the loss of loved ones. There families will never be the same. The grieving process does not stop after a funeral. The grieving process can last for years especially when it is for a child or parent who were senseless killed in a mass shooting. We also have people still grieving the loss of a loved one by a pandemic that former President Trump ignored allowing 525,000 Americans and counting to die from a virus. Also families who have a love one who died due to the Coronavirus never had the chance to personally say goodbye or have a complete funeral due to the restrictions associated with the Coronavirus.

As I said mass shootings are an issue again. Since the mass shooting in Atlanta, there have been a minimum of 22 mass shootings (CDC, NBC, CNN). There have been other shootings which are still being investigated to determine if they meet the CDC definition of a mass shooting. Regardless of how those shootings are defined, they still occurred and people were killed and wounded. Therefore, since the Atlanta mass shooting, we have added to the number of Americans who are grieving and dealing with traumatic reactions. Many of these people added are children and teenagers. How do we justify getting upset with teenagers when they act out by refusing to do school work or damaging property, when they are having to continue to deal with grief and trauma on a daily basis and they see no relief in sight.

Given how many families are being devastated by these mass shootings, what is the problem with enacting sane and safe gun laws? Republicans are spending numerous hours and money trying to change our voting laws, but are not willing to implement safe and sane gun laws to stop the senseless killings. How is making it a crime to give a person water who is waiting in line to vote protecting our voting system or our Country? The election of 2020 was the biggest Presidential election in our Country and numerous states and the Superior Courts in Sates and the Supreme Court all agreed in that the election of 2020 was one of the fairest elections with the least amount of problems in our Country’s history. Therefore, why waste time on voting laws? Why not focus on the violence and unnecessary killings that are occurring in the United States.

We need to address the massive amount of violence occurring in our Country. Besides mass shootings, the United States Capital Building has been attacked twice in 2021 with 4 Capital Police Officers being killed or dying from suicide (CDC, NBC, CNN). In addition to the attacks on the Capital, Asian Americans have been the victims of numerous physical attacks. Again, many have been killed by these attacks adding to the number of Americans grieving and dealing with traumatic reactions. These are occurring because the former President blamed China for the Coronavirus. However, he takes no responsibility for ignoring the medical experts who were telling the former President what he needed to do. His solution was to tell people to drink bleach. Something many people actually tried (CDC).

The former President ignored that we have a nation grieving and dealing with traumatic reactions. Now, as mass shootings resume and attacks on Asian Americans continue and people continue to die from the Coronavirus, the number of Americans grieving and dealing with traumatic reactions continue to grow. Remember a large number of these Americans are children and teenagers. People say they need psychotherapy. However, as a psychotherapist I can tell you many insurance companies are raising copays so high that families cannot afford therapy for their children and teenagers and also afford to buy food for their family. Many families are going without therapy or going to food banks.

We cannot allow the United States to be a country of grief and trauma. We must enact safe and sane gun laws. We have them for driving, the use of alcohol and for traveling. Therefore, safe and sane gun laws will not destroy the second amendment. Also voting laws are fine how they are right now. We need to focus on the real problems facing our children and teenagers. We need to stop the violence and ensure that anyone who needs psychotherapy can get it.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over twenty years experience treating children and teenagers and treating trauma victims. For more information regarding his work visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

Teenagers Continue to Experience Vicariously Trauma Daily

Teenagers Continue to Experience Vicariously Trauma Daily

Many people tend to assume only people who were directly exposed to a trauma will experience issues related to the trauma and may develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). However, this is not the truth. Many people may not have lived through the trauma, but they may know someone who did or they were exposed to very explicit images of the trauma or have been hearing about the trauma a lot on the news. It may also trigger memories of a trauma they experienced in their lives or in their family. This can cause what is referred to as vicarious trauma. Vicarious trauma is when someone is traumatized by an event but they did not experience the event themselves. Simply knowing about or hearing about the event is traumatizing to them. This is happening to many children and families in the United States. However, when are we going to pay attention to the way children in the United States are being traumatized over and over?

If this sounds confusing, let’s look at what children and teenagers have been dealing with and living through the last few years. This last year teenagers and children have been living with the trauma of the Coronavirus. Their schools were closed without warning and so were the sports and other after school activities stopped suddenly. In addition they were not able to hang out with friends and had to go to school remotely.

In addition to these changes, many children and teenagers had family members they could no longer see, such as grandparents and many had family members who died due to the Coronavirus. However, they were not able to attend funeral services and say goodbye. Over 525,000 Americans died to the Coronavirus. All of those people had family members and friends who are grieving for them still. A fact we tend to overlook. However, children and teenagers are dealing with it daily especially if they lost a parent, grandparents or a sibling.

While children and teenagers are still dealing with how poorly the Pandemic was handled by the government, now many are being told we are reopening states including schools. Therefore, they no longer have to deal with remote school now they will be back in their classrooms. This brings up anxiety about how school will be because they still need to be cautious so they don’t contract the Coronavirus. Many children and teenagers have told me they are very worried about being exposed to the Coronavirus or their parents being exposed to the Coronavirus.

In addition to the Coronavirus, children and teenagers now have to worry again about mass shootings. We just started opening the Country and already there have been two mass shootings. This brings up the anxiety and vicarious trauma children have been exposed to regarding school shootings for years. They have been increasing every year since 2010 (CDC) and in 2019 by November there had been 336 mass shootings averaging out to a mass shooting every 1.2 days (Gun Violence Archive). These are overwhelming statistics for adults and we are expecting children and teenagers to cope with them. The students know there have been no changes to the gun laws. Therefore, they are having to return to school and worry about mass school shootings.

Look at what they are returning to when they return to school. Today in most United States schools, the classroom doors are kept lock while class is in session and no one can enter a school campus without checking in with the main office and they must wear an identification badge while on campus. In fact, all school employees must wear official school identification badges while at work. Many elementary students noticed these changes and have asked why the door must be locked? Students are told it is for their safety. The school is preventing any people who do not belong at the school from getting near the students. No one mentions someone with a gun, but children have heard about and remember all the mass shootings and they know why the door needs to be locked. I have many elementary students mention this to me during their therapy sessions.

Now when we were in school we had fire alarm drills in case there ever was a fire in the school. No one thought much about them. Some students felt the fire alarm was too loud but no one really worried about a fire happening at school. We never worried about it because we never heard about any school fires and people dying.

Today students face more than fire alarm drills. Schools routinely have active shooter drills. During these drills students are taught to shelter in place and to remain very quiet so the shooter will not enter their room. Therefore, besides having heard about and remembering mass school shootings, school students know they are returning to a place where they could be killed. They know they are practicing what to do in case there is a shooter at their school trying to kill them. Therefore, they worry about could a shooting happen at their school and could they die. As a result of these fears, the CDC has documented that anxiety disorders and depression had significantly increasing in children since school shootings increased and they have documented a further increase in anxiety and depression due to the Coronavirus.

To add to the trauma students now face, if there is an incident, such as a bank robbery, involving someone with a gun near a school, the police put the school on lock down. The students must shelter in place and they don’t know if the person with the gun will come to their school or not. This creates a significant amount of anxiety for children and many are traumatized by the incident. Here is another incident causing trauma for children and teenagers. How many do we expect them to cope with at their ages? When will we provide mental health care for the children, teenagers, their parents, the school staff and the first responders? All of these people are being exposed to trauma regarding the Coronavirus and mass shootings on a regular basis. This creates traumatic reactions and exacerbates old traumatic reactions.

Another issue which adds to this trauma is gun control. Since the shooting in Florida many students have been actively campaigning for sane gun control. However, nothing has been done to enact sane gun control laws. High school students know nothing is being done and elementary children are hearing nothing is being done about guns. This makes them worry because they know guns are still out there that can be used to kill them. The shooting which occurred in New Zealand cause high school and elementary students to wonder why our Country does nothing about gun control. Our government has done nothing even though students and parents are demanding safe gun laws. While our government debates the issue, more students were killed and may be killed. Just look at the two mass shooting this past week. However, New Zealand in a matter of 3 weeks after a shooting banned all assault weapons. This makes students wonder why we have not done anything when we have a bigger problem with mass shootings. Also it doesn’t make them feel safe at school because they do not feel like a priority. Some people will say children and teenagers are not aware of such issues. However, remember with their Smartphones they have instant access to the news and this generation of teenagers are politically active.

Working with teenagers and children I have seen that anxiety and trauma reactions have

increased significantly for children. Also children are afraid of returning to school because they might be killed. These are responses to the mass shootings. Every time there is a mass shooting children become more anxious and afraid. We had two mass shootings this last week and as I am writing this article another mass shooting is occurring in the Florida Keys. We have just started to open the Country and we already have had 3 mass shootings. This will exacerbate previous traumatic reactions and create new ones. We are expecting children and teenagers to cope with the Coronavirus and mass shootings at the same time. For those children and teenagers not directly effected by the virus or shootings, they still have to cope with the issues which results in vicarious trauma.

Furthermore, if we want to reduce the vicarious trauma children and teenagers experience, we must be honest and not lie to children and teenagers. Remember, they have their smartphones phones and easy access to news and videos clips of the news. The best example is when the US Capital building was attacked by people trying to prevent President Biden from winning the Presidential Election. There have been Republican Congressmen and Senators saying they were safe and down playing the event. However, police were killed and injured and people were chanting “hang Pence”. To me that doesn’t sound safe. Additionally, despite the video showing these protesters breaking windows, spraying police with pepper spay and beating officers with flag poles, the former President Trump went on television saying the protesters were hugging the police, waving hello and walking calmly into the Capital. This type of blatant lie causes teenagers not to trust authority figures because they may be lying and it can cause them to second guess what they saw in the video. This creates a situation where teenagers do not know who to trust and this exacerbates their fear and traumatic reactions because they feel they have no one to trust. Children and teenagers need the truth in age appropriate terms. The truth is easier to handle than their emotions.

Summing up, children and teenagers in the United States have been traumatized and vicariously traumatized by mass shootings and the Coronavirus. As we start to open up the Country, they continue to have to deal with the Coronavirus and mass shootings. Therefore, they continue to be traumatized and vicariously traumatized. Many will need psychotherapy to help them with these issues. The American Association of Children and Adolescent Psychiatry has put out the following guidelines. If you notice any of these signs or symptoms in your child or teenager it explains how to start to talk to your child or teenager and how to find the appropriate psychotherapist for your child. It is important to get a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders and trauma issues http://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Talking-To-Children-About-Terrorism-And-War-087.aspx.

One final aspect about vicarious trauma that has emerged regarding mass shootings and the Coronavirus is suicide. Family members and survivors of mass shootings are feeling survivors guilt and as a result committing suicide. There was a report of 3 people who committed suicide who either survived a mass shooting or their child died in one. This has been occurring for a long time. It has been occurring since Columbine. Family members feel they can no longer cope with the pain. Survivors can’t cope with the guilt of surviving. Family and friends of some one who was killed or injured in a mass school shooting have had their lives changed forever! People, family members and first responders, especially hospital workers dealing with the Coronavirus are also committing suicide. They are dealing with depression, anxiety and trauma reactions on a daily basis. However, we do not have adequate mental health resources to help these people. Also people assume after a few months, most people may be grieving but can handle their situation. This is not true. They are experience anxiety and trauma that for many of them is very confusing. This only increases the anxiety and trauma. The children experiencing the shooter drills are also confused by their anxiety and traumatic reactions. They do not know what to do and this causes isolation and the feelings increase.

We must eliminate the stigma associated with mental health issues. We also need to make sure that anyone who is even remotely exposed to a mass shooting (including first responders and emergency room physicians) or anyone who has had to deal with the Coronavirus have access to mental health care. Not just for a month or two but for as long as they need psychotherapy and they should be able to receive the therapy without worrying about the cost.

We have a generation of children growing up with anxiety and traumatic reactions. If we don’t help them now, they will only get worse as time goes on. May be we need to take a lesson from New Zealand and how they responded to a mass shooting. They banned assault weapons after one shooting. We have been having shootings for 20 years and have done nothing, why? We have a great deal of information about the Coronavirus and we are arguing about wearing masks. Why?

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers and specializes in treating trauma. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.