Mental Health Crisis Created by the Coronavirus

Mental Health Crisis Created by the Coronavirus

We have a major mental health crisis coming our way and we are not prepared. Before the Coronavirus pandemic one out of five teenagers met the criteria for a mental health diagnosis and needed psychotherapy (CDC). In addition depression, anxiety and cutting were at epidemic rates for teenagers (CDC). To make matters worse, suicide had been the third leading cause of death for teenagers prior to the pandemic and has been moved from the third to the second leading cause of death for teenagers (CDC). Additionally, African-American teenagers were committing suicide at five times the rate of Caucasian teenagers (CDC). This means prior to the pandemic, we had many teenagers dying due to suicide and the rate has been increasing every year for the past ten years (CDC). In 2018 over 6200 teenagers between 10-18 committed suicide (CDC). If the number of teenagers committing suicide is increasing every year significantly, then how many teenagers committed suicide last year? How many teenagers will attempt or commit suicide this year?

Here are the statistics for teenage mental health prior to the pandemic. We know since the pandemic the number of teenagers reporting depression and anxiety have significantly increased and so have the number of teenage suicides and death due to drug overdoses have increased since the pandemic. I have seen a significant increase in patients calling my office for psychotherapy for their teenagers and children. How are we going to provide all these children and teenagers with psychotherapy? Additionally, many parents are having to stop their child’s psychotherapy because they can no longer afford the copayments. Many parents have lost their jobs or have had their hours cut which reduces their monthly income. Therefore, many parents are having to choose between paying rent and buying food or their child’s therapy. I am willing to make accommodations so the children and teenagers I treat can stay in therapy, however many therapists will not make accommodations. So what happens to all these children who need therapy because the pandemic has exacerbated their mental health issues? Why should parents have to decide between food on the table or therapy for their depressed teenager?

Another fact we cannot overlook is that this week we reached the point where 200,000 Americans have died due to the Coronavirus. This means there are 200,000 families who are grieving. Many children have lost parents and grandparents. Many parents have lost their parents and have lost their child too. The Coronavirus does and has killed children. How do we provide grief counseling to all of the grieving families and friends? With a record number of people out of work order besides finding therapists to help all these family members, how do you provide therapy at an affordable price? If you have a family of four that needs therapy, the monthly cost for therapy will be very expensive. Again people are having to choose between food for the family or therapy for the family.

Another factor impacting the mental health of children and parents is school. Because the President refuses to issue a national mandate regarding masks, children and teenagers are having to attend school remotely. Fourth percent of the parents in our Country have had to adjust their work schedules so there is someone at home to help the children. This has resulted in many parents having to reduce their pay. Again making it difficult to pay the rent and afford food. Additionally, many children and teenagers are becoming very frustrated because the remote learning is not well coordinated and they want to give up on school. This is adding more stress to families who are already over stressed. They are needing psychotherapy to help them, but they cannot afford therapy. Again what are we going to do to help these families?

One final point for this article, we hear that people have and do recover after being diagnosed with the Coronavirus. This is true, however, we have now learned something new about this new virus. A number of people who recover go on to develop what is being to referred to as “long haul syndrome.” People who develop this syndrome have heart palpitations, neurological problems, losing their hair and a condition referred to a brain fog. At this point no one knows how long it will last and who will develop it. It also is creating mental health issues such as depression. These people and their families will require therapy too. Again, how do we provide affordable therapy to these people? Since there is a negative stigma about mental health, we do not have enough therapists in the United States to treat all these people. Right now of course we are looking for a cure to the virus but we have not been paying attention to the collateral damage this virus has caused and how are we going to cope with it. Mental health is a major area, but we have not been paying attention to the mental health issues created by this virus and how are we going to address the mental health needs of the United States.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

An Important Role Model for All Teenagers

An Important Role Model for All Teenagers

On Friday, September 18, 2020, we lost an American legend and a person who taught all of us some very important lessons. The person we lost was Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg at the age of 87. While the politicians are arguing about who and how her place on the Supreme Court will be filled, let us take sometime to look at her legacy and honor what she has done for the United States. She fought for the rights for many people and groups who were discriminated against due to the law. She truly worked and devoted her life to make our Country “a more perfect Union.” Additionally, she is and excellent role model for teenagers. Yes she is a role model for teenage girls, but she is also an excellent role model for teenage boys too. Let’s take a moment to look at the lessons she taught teenagers and how teenagers can use the lessons she provided.

Justice Bader Ginsberg personally faced discrimination and negative stereotypes and she learned first hand how they were unfair to the person but also how the stereotypes and discrimination hurt our nation too. Justice Bader Ginsberg had three strikes against her. She was a woman, she was Jewish and she was a mother. Here are two examples of the discrimination and negative stereotypes she faced during her life. She lived in Nebraska with her husband and she was working for the United States Social Security office in Nebraska. When she had her first child she was demoted and received a pay cut because women with children should not be working. Another example is after she was accepted to Harvard University. A professor called her aside and asked her to justify why she should be at Harvard and deny a man from attending Harvard. She did not allow these acts of discrimination to stop her. She understood why she was facing the discrimination and she would not let the discrimination stop her from moving forward with her life and the discrimination did not stop her from fighting against it and other inequalities many people faced.

After Justice Bader Ginsberg finished her law education and she graduated tied for first place at Cornell University, she was unable to get a job at a law firm because she was a woman, Jewish and a mother. Married Jewish women were not supposed to be attorneys. They were suppose to stay at home and raise a family. Again the discrimination would not stop her from fulfilling her life’s dream and her potential. She became an attorney for the ACLU and started to challenge discrimination and prejudice legally. She also had a husband, Marty Ginsberg, who supported her. He was an attorney too, but he believed that his wife had the right to be an attorney too and encouraged her to continue.

She did continue and people started to notice her talent and she started to change barriers. She took on discrimination against women, discrimination against voting rights for minorities and discrimination against people with disabilities. Her talent was recognized by President Carter who appointed her to be a Federal Judge and then President Obama appointed her to the Supreme Court. She over came the fact that she was a woman, Jewish and a mother. She made the world better for herself and for thousands of American citizens.

In addition to all the discrimination she faced, she also faced numerous bouts of being diagnosed with cancer. Many people may have retired after their first diagnosis, but not Justice Bader Ginsberg. She continued to work through chemotherapy, radiation and surgeries. She did not allow cancer to stop her from fighting for people’s rights. If she was not able to make it to the Court, she participated via conference calls from her home and even from her hospital bed. This is a person with a strong drive and who was not going to let anything get in her way of making our Country “a more perfect Union” for everyone regardless of their gender, race, religion or sexual orientation.

Now that we of an understanding of what she faced and her work, let’s look at the important lessons she taught teenagers. First, she showed that one person can make significant changes in our world. Also her friendship with Justice Scalia (a strong republican) taught us that you can respect and be kind to people with different opinions from you. In fact, you can even be friends with someone who has different opinions or different background from you. This is very important for teenagers to remember that you can be kind and respect people who are different from you or has different beliefs.

Another very important lesson she taught teenagers is not to let someone else’s prejudice or negative stereotype about you to stop you from fulfilling your dreams or to cause you to doubt yourself. If I had listened to people when I graduated from U.C. Berkely, I would have never earned my doctorate degree. I was told when I graduated from U.C. Berkeley that people with physical and neurological disabilities don’t go on to get advanced degrees. I should just be happy getting a job. I ignored the comments and discrimination I faced a long the way and I earned a Master’s degree and my Doctorate degree. I followed Justice Bander Ginsberg example and followed the faith I had in myself and ignored the stereotypes and discrimination. Girls and other teenagers who are belong to a minority, also need to believe in themselves and follow their dreams. Do not let someone else tell you what you can achieve in your life based on their prejudices or stereotypes they hold. Follow the belief you have in yourself and pursue your dreams.

Another lesson Justice Bader Ginsberg taught teenagers is you have an obligation to speak out against injustices and to help other people by helping to eliminate discrimination and negative stereotypes. As our Constitution states, “all men are created equally.” If that statement is going to mean anything then everyone regardless of ethnicity, financial class, gender or religious beliefs need to have the same opportunities as white Americans. Therefore, supporting groups such as Black Lives Matter and other groups addressing the systemic discrimination in our Country is our responsibility. Justice Bader Ginsberg’s life was dedicated to eliminating systemic discrimination and racism. This is why her last request was her successor be named by the winner of the Presidential Election on November 3rd. We can help ensure that the intent of her last wish will be carried out if teenagers speak up and demand that any systemic discrimination or racism they observe is changed.

Justice Bader Ginsberg lived her life showing us that no one has the right to define us as a person and in the United States we are all equal and deserve to be treated equally with kindness and respect. I hear many teenagers telling me they feel the same way when I see them for therapy. Therefore, we can honor this amazing lady by encouraging our teenagers not to allow stereotypes and racism to define them as people. Furthermore, we can honor this amazing lady by encouraging our teenagers to speak up and fight against racism and discrimination they see in our society. Remember Justice Bader Ginsberg’s belief that everyone in the United States deserves to be treated with dignity, respect and kindness regardless of ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, financial class or disability status.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

Teenagers Encourages Us to Accept Our Differences

Teenagers Encourages Us to Accept Our Differences

We have many stereotypes about groups, such as people who enjoy sports, and about people from different ethnicities, financial status and education status, such as did they go to college or not. Most teenagers have been taught these stereotypes and feel that they need to conform to the stereotypes even if they disagree with the stereotypes. However, many teenagers also feel and believe that these stereotypes are wrong. As a result, they ignore the stereotypes they were taught and treat everyone with dignity and respect regardless of the person’s ethnicity or financial class. I have many teenagers asking me during their sessions how they can ignore the stereotypes without getting into trouble. They can clearly articulate why the stereotypes are wrong, but they know many adults strongly believe in the stereotypes and if they ignore the stereotypes, they could get into trouble with the adults who believe the stereotypes. They know taking a stand could create problems with parents, extended family and teachers just to name a few. However, they feel if they are going to be true to themselves, they must take the stand regardless of the cost.

We are seeing that the teenagers born after the year 2000, tend to have these beliefs and tend to act on them. As I have said before, the teenagers born after the year 2000 are a unique group and have different ideas and beliefs based on the many things they have experienced that no other group have kids have ever experienced. Remember these kids were born primarily after the 9/11 terrorist attack and have grown up with warnings about terrorist attacks and increased terrorist attacks around the world. Additionally our Country has been at war since they were born too. They also lived through the great recession and many where impacted by it. Finally, they have grown up with mass school shootings which around 2018 were occurring daily. Also because of this fact, they had mass shooter drills not fire alarms. All of this will impact how they see and react to the world.

Another thing these teenagers were exposed to were messages via movies and non-profit groups who work with teenagers and children that there was hope for the world and they were the hope. The children and teenagers were hearing they had the ability to change the world through their actions and by voting. Many children and teenagers have paid attention to these messages and believe them. As a result, they are trying to change the world.

Disney provided many movies with positive messages for children and teenagers. Beauty and the Beast taught children not to judge by appearance. You need to look inside the person to get an accurate view of their heart and beliefs. The movie, Frozen, taught children that it was alright to disregard the typical male stereotype. The movie said boys do cry and it’s normal. Finally, the movie showed that love is more powerful than hate. You can get more done and live a happier life by loving those around you instead of hating people. Finally in the High School Musical movies, children were taught that it’s normal for people to have different interests and the stereotypes could be wrong. In these movies you had a hispanic teenage girl as the lead and in the movie she was the smartest person and should how you could expect others without judging. You also had a white, overweight cheerleader, a black girl who was extremely intelligent and you had a black basketball player who also liked to cook. All the characters violated the ethnic stereotypes and all the characters were very good friends. In fact, the final song discusses how we are all in this together and need to work together and accept each other just the way we are. There was no need to judge and it was alright for people to have differences. A very powerful message. This message was also highlighted in the movie The Greatest Showman, a movie about P.T. Barnum. The newspaper critic provides the message of the movie, “putting people together of all different sizes and colors could be considered a celebration of humanity.” Again another message to accept people as they are and it’s alright for people to have differences. In fact, we should accept and celebrate our differences.

Children and teenagers watched these movies and paid attention to the message these movies were delivering. In addition to these movies you also have groups, such as Challenge Day, working with teenagers. These groups educate teenagers it’s alright to be different and the stereotypes regarding men and women are outdated. They are educating teenagers that everyone has the right to be accepted and loved just the way they were born. Additionally, teenagers are receiving the message they are the future and they can change the world. Teenagers are listening to this message and also starting to act.

A great example of how teenagers have listened to these messages are the teenagers from the high school in Parkland, Florida. These teenagers had to endure a horrific experience with a mass shooter at their high school. Typically after a shooting everyone discussed how changes need to be made. However, changes never seem to occur. However, these teenagers decided to take action. They formed a group to meet with politicians and demanded changes. These teenagers formed the group March for Our Lives and have established satellite groups in most states of the United States. They are still meeting with politicians but now all over the Country. They are also protesting and educating the public using social media.

Black Lives Matter is another great example. Teenagers are tired of seeing people being discriminated against because of their ethnicity. They feel everyone is equal it doesn’t matter if you are white, black, brown or asian. We are all equal and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. The teenagers are willing to put their beliefs into actions. They are willing to hold peaceful protests and to educate others about how society needs to change and accept everyone. They are determined to give meaning what is in scribed on the Statue of Liberty, “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door.” This statement implies that we all need to be treated equally. It also indicates our Country world eliminate systemic racism and discrimination.

Our Country is facing numerous issues regarding race and ethnicity. I think we need to remember what is on the Statue of Liberty and we need to pay attention to what the teenagers are pointing out and requesting our Country to do. The time has come to address systemic racism and discrimination in this United States. If we do, we will make life better for everyone in the Country. A very common mistake is this systemic discrimination only impacts people of color, however as the Disney movies point out is the systemic discrimination impacts people who are white too. Think about it because it does have an impact on our lives. A negative impact. The movies, novels and history have shown us that hate is toxic and love sets you free and improves your life. Listen to the teenagers and choose love.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.”

Teenagers Playing a Deadly Game with Benadryl

Teenagers Playing a Deadly Game with Benadryl

Teenagers will find ways to get high because they believe that it is fun. However, many teenagers are not aware that the ways they are choosing to get high can cause serious health risks even death. Teenagers were using the cough medicine, Robitussin, because it contains DMX an provides an easy high. Well teenagers are now using another allergy medication. Teenagers are now using the medication Benadryl made by Johnson and Johnson.

Many parents are familiar with Benadryl. It is a common medication pediatricians prescribe to parents when their children have allergies. This medication is considered safe for young children and parents can purchase it over the counter. Additionally, many pediatricians suggest that parents use this medication when children are having difficulties sleeping. Besides being a safe allergy medication for young children, it also has a tendency to make children and adults drowsy. Most people fall asleep after taking Benadryl.

Now the app TikTok has found away to abuse this medication. People who use TikTok have issued a challenge to other TikTok users. The challenge is to take as many Benadryl pills as they can so they start hallucinating and experience a high. Therefore, we have teenagers across the country taking dozens of Benadryl pills. Teenagers are able to get Benadryl easy because it is sold over the counter and is considered a safe allergy medication by most people. Therefore, most parents won’t suspect anything if their teenager tells them they are taking Benadryl for their allergies.

However this challenge posted on TikTok is dangerous and deadly. Johnson and Johnson has stated that Benadryl was not designed with the intention of taking dozens of Benadryl pills at a time. At this point a 15 year old girl has died from taking too many Benadryl pills. Additionally, three 15 year old teenage girls in Fort Worth, Texas are in the hospital because they took too many Benadryl pills. Johnson and Johnson has stated that if you take to much Benadryl it can cause seizures and serious heart problems. The company has the guidelines on the bottle regarding what is an appropriate dosage of Benadryl for different ages and weights. Johnson and Johnson is warning parents about this TikTok challenge so parents can address it with their teenagers.

Parents TikTok is very popular with teenagers right now. Teenagers are not thinking about how dangerous this challenge can be and that people can die. If your teenager uses TikTok discuss this challenge with them and watch to see if your teenager has any Benadryl. If they use TikTok and have Benadryl take the medication away from them. You may be saving their lives.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information about his work or private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or on Apple.

Am I a Second Class Citizen because I’m Black?

Am I a Second Class Citizen because I’m Black?

As a psychotherapist who works with black adolescents and other minority adolescents, I am seeing these adolescents feel hopeless and angry. Many of these teenagers have dreams of going into the military so they can serve our Country. They are very proud of the United States, but they want to know why the President doesn’t care about them and makes them feel like second class citizens. Many may think these teenagers are overreacting, but if you just look at today’s events it appears they are not overreacting.

Today the President traveled to Wisconsin, even though the governor, the mayor and community felt it was inappropriate for him to visit. He disregarded their requests and made the visit. Now since he went to Kenosha, Wisconsin, you would think that he would mention Jacob Blake or visit Mr. Blake. However, he did not mention Mr. Blake nor did he visit him either. In fact, he has not even called the family yet. His excuse is the family has an attorney. However, he did mention, Kyle, the 17 year old white adolescent from Illinois who decided he had the right to go to Wisconsin because of the protestors in Wisconsin. While he was there he shot and killed two people and seriously injured a third person. The President has sympathy for Kyle and mentioned that case and Kyle has attorneys. However, Kyle is also white and is an outspoken supporter of the President. Additionally, while he was in Kenosha, Wisconsin, two reporters asked the President about systemic racism. He ignored the first reporter and told the second reporter he was asking the wrong question. The President denied systemic racism and did not want to discuss it. He would discuss the violence in Portland, Oregon. He also mentioned a plane full of “thugs” who were going to cause problems in the Country. However, he could not provide concrete details at the moment about the plane. Another scare tactic that he uses so often.

Not mentioning the real victim is not uncommon for the President especially when the victim is a minority. He is on Twitter all the time but never mentioned Jacob Blake. He stated he spoke to the family’s pastor. However, the pastor he spoke to was from Illinois and was not Mr. Blake’s pastor. When George Floyd was murdered by police several weeks ago, again he did not mention Mr. Floyd or Tweet about it. Here is another incident when a black man was killed but the President did little to nothing to get involved or to rectify the problem. However, how can you rectify a problem when you are denying the fact that systemic racism exist. How does this make black teenagers feel? The President address issues when White people are involved but if the victim is black or a minority, he ignores the situation. This makes black teenagers feel like they are not important.

Another fact black teenagers see is that the President wants to protect Confederate statues and military bases and schools named after Confederate soldiers. This is the same President who verbally attacked football and basketball players who did not stand or took a knee for the flag during the National Anthem. These players were protesting the systemic racism in our society. The President attacked these sport stars, but wants to honor Confederate soldiers. The Confederate soldiers destroyed the flag of the United States and they were trying to destroy the United States and they supported slavery. What does this tell a black teenager if the President supports people who advocated for slavery? In my opinion it would tell me, I’m not important to the President.

Why is this important? Currently depression and anxiety are at epidemic rates for teenagers (CDC). Also suicide has moved from the third leading cause of death for teenagers to the second leading cause of death for teenagers (CDC). The terrifying fact is that the suicide rate for black teenagers is five times the rate for white teenagers (CDC). If that is the case, how many black teenagers are we losing to suicide? The teenagers I am working with are telling me based on everything I outlined above, they do not see a future for themselves. They feel hopeless and don’t see any point in trying due to systemic racism. They are even more confused because many of them are wanting to serve the United States. They don’t understand how a Country they want to serve and protect is willing to allow systemic racism to exist. They do know their are many Americans who support them, but when you hear this support for systemic racism coming from the President daily, it gives black teenagers little hope that anything will change.

Because there is a belief that nothing will change, this is why groups such as Black Lives Matter are important to teenagers. Black Lives Matter is focused on changing the systemic racism in our Country despite what other people may think about the group. The group is not racist, it is designed to eliminate systemic racism. This gives black teenagers some hope for their future. Another group, Alive and Free in San Francisco which was founded by Dr. Joseph Marshall also provides black teenagers with hope for their futures and the teenagers need this hope. For this reason I am proud to be one of the founding members of the National Alive and Free Board which connects professionals across our Country to provide teenagers with hope and to work on eliminating systemic racism. Dr. Marshall has helped over 200 black teenagers get into and graduate college. This is what can happen when we remove racism.

Mr. President is urge you to take a deep look into your attitudes and educate yourself about racism. It is necessary if we are going to eliminate systemic racism and also so black teenagers don’t feel like second class citizens in the United States.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information about his work visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or his podcasts on Spotify or Apple.

I Have A Dream but I Am Afraid

I Have A Dream but I Am Afraid

Today was the 57th year anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr’s, “I have a dream” speech. In Washington D.C. protestors had a protest today to honor the anniversary and to look at how close we have come to meeting the goals that Dr. Martin Luther King set 57 years ago. Unfortunately, it appears we have not made a great deal of progress when it comes time to racial equality. Statistics show this fact and I hear it every day in my office from the teenagers that I work with who come from minority backgrounds. Many of these teens and children are telling me that they do not feel safe in the United States.

One thing that many people ignore is that this generation of teenagers are actively involved in politics and very aware of what is occurring politically in our Country. Teenagers today have smartphones which give them access to everything that is going on in the world and our Country and they are paying attention. They are also very concerned about the possibility that Trump could be re-elected President. They feel if he is re-elected the progress which has been made regarding racism will be erased by Trump. They have a right to feel this way. Trump criticizes sport stars for not standing during the national anthem. He claims they are disrespectful to the United States. However, Trump wants to protect statues of Confederate soldiers. These soldiers did away with the United States Flag and were committing treason against the United States and wanted to keep slavery. Trump wants to honor these soldiers. If I was a black teenager, I would be worried about what Trump might do to my rights if he is elected for a second term. Teenagers are telling me about these fears.

Looking back after Trump was elected it became apparent to me how Trump was making teens and kids anxious and afraid. I had many children who were Hispanic and from other minority backgrounds asking me if they were safe in the U.S. They had heard what the President had been saying about deporting people, they were very afraid that their families would be deported. However, all the kids and their families were American citizens so they could not be deported. However, due to what they were hearing and seeing the President do, they were very afraid for their safety.

This past week provides another example to children and teenagers to worry about their safety. A few weeks ago we witnessed George Floyd, a black man, being murdered by the police. Many of us hoped that this incident would be the trigger for all of us to look at the institutional racism in our Country. However, we were wrong about this being the trigger to make changes in our Country. This last week Jacob Blake was shot seven times in his back and the police officer had the gun in Jacob’s back as he shot. The President never addressed the shooting and we have heard little from the police. However, a white, 17 year old male from Illinois felt it was his duty to go to Wisconsin to protect people. He shot and killed two people and walked down the middle of the street with his gun and the police did nothing. In fact, we are hearing he may have done nothing wrong because he was acting in self defense. However, he doesn’t live in the city and had no reason to take a gun, a gun he had no legal right to own, and go to Wisconsin to protect people. I may be wrong, but I thought that was the job of the police not a 17 year old Caucasian boy. It seems like the two men were treated differently due to their color.

The black adolescent boys all tell me they need to be careful when they are out so they don’t get arrested. Looking at the above example and the statistic that black teenagers are 15 times more likely to be arrested than Caucasian teenagers (DOJ, 2018) helps me to understand why they are so concerned. Also from my own experience working with teenagers on probation, I see the discrimination. I have had white teenage boys violate their probation numerous times and nothing is done. However, a black teen I was working with who was on home arrest had to go back to Juvenile Hall for a month for a probation violation. The reason was there was a power outage on the way home from his appointment with me. Because there was no power the monitor turned off and he was unable to call in because the phones were down. Probation decided he violated probation because the monitor went off and he did not call probation. The probation officer knew the power was off, but charged him with a violation anyway. Why? I also had some black teenagers tell me that at there high school students were using the “N” word and someone left and hanging noose on campus. The black students were assured that the incident would be addressed, but it never was addressed.

I have mentioned before that suicide is now at an epidemic rate and has been increasing every year for the past 20 years now so now it is the second leading cause of death for teenagers (CDC). However, Black teenagers are five times more likely than Caucasian teenagers to commit or attempt suicide. The reasons why the rate is higher for black teenagers seem to be racism and feeling like no matter how hard they try they feel they cannot succeed due to institutional racism (CDC). When I hear how many of the black teenagers I work with are being followed when they go to stores or if they say they want to be a physician or get their doctorate degree that their high school counselors discuss being plumbers or electricians with them instead. These teens are very bright and this must be very discouraging. I was told the same thing in college because I have a neurological disability. I share my story with these teenagers and encourage them to go for their dreams.

57 years ago today Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr disgust a dream where racism was not an issue and we were all treated equally. However, if we look at our society, we are very far from Dr. King’s dream. The teenagers who are speaking out and protesting are telling the truth and we need to listen to them. Many people criticize them for protesting during a pandemic, however no one says anything to President Trump about not wearing a mask and holding campaign rallies that violate all the safety guidelines regarding the pandemic. Again a white man is getting a way with exposing thousands of us to the pandemic, yet the protestors who wear masks and try to social distance are criticize. Stop and think about that point.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information regarding Dr. Rubino’s work or private practice visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/drrubino3. or listen to his podcasts on Apple or Spotify.

Teenagers Need to Know They are Important

Teenagers Need to Know They are Important

I have many teenagers who see me for therapy believing that no one loves them and that they are worthless. They tell me their parents don’t love them, their siblings don’t care about them and no one at school cares about them. They feel they are unloveable and no one cares if they live or die. Because they have this belief, they don’t care about themselves. They don’t care how they are doing in school and they see no future for themselves. As a result they don’t care what happens to them either.

There are many reasons why children have this feeling about themselves. For some their parents were drug addicts, for some were sexually or physically abused, some have gone from foster home to foster home their entire lives. As a result, they see no hope and no future for themselves. The most important point is not why teenagers have developed this attitude about themselves, it’s that they have this attitude. We need to look at what this belief will do to these teenagers and their lives.

Many teenagers who feel unlovable turn to drugs or alcohol to numb these feelings. Some turn to self-mutilating behaviors, such as cutting, again as a way to numb these feelings or as a way of punishing themselves. Often teenagers become sexually active at an very early age. They equate sex with love. Also many of these teens become involved with gangs and bullying. The gangs serve as a psedufamily for the teenagers. In fact, gangs consider their members as family members. Bullying is another way teens numb out their pain. They believe by making someone else look weak that it makes them look strong and people will respect them and love them. Also they can it is a way they feel they can hide from other that they feel worthless.

The above stated behaviors are a few ways that teenagers deal with feeling unlovable. However, the number of teenagers who feel this way are creating numerous problems for everyone. As a result of teens feeling unlovable, we have a severe drug problem in the teenage population. Teenagers are dying from accidental drug over dosages at an epidemic rate. According to the CDC the number of teens using drugs, such as heroin and meth, is at an epidemic rate. Cutting, suicide and being murdered are all at epidemic rates for teenagers (CDC). All because many of them don’t feel loved.

We are receiving this message in many ways that teenagers need to feel loved. In Disney’s movie, Frozen, they mention that people make poor choices and do hurtful things because they feel unloved. The movie goes further to say that if people feel loved you would be amazed at how they can change. Oprah in her last show commented on one thing she had learned from her show was that everyone wants to know that they are important to someone and that someone sees them and cares about what they say and do. Challenge Day, a program designed to work with teenagers, believes all teens deserve to feel loved and cared for by people. I have worked with Challenge Day and I am amazed every time that this big, tough teenager ends up crying on the floor when he realizes that someone cares. Teenagers are trying very hard to let us know they need to be loved when they act out. I have teenagers telling me they are willing to take a chance of overdosing just so they can escape the pain of feeling abandoned and unloved. It is heartbreaking to hear a teen tell you this as they try to hide the fact that they are crying.

We know love makes a difference to many people so why not teenagers? The teenagers I work with don’t really want to be the tough guy. They want to know that they are loved. When I tell a teen I’m working with in therapy that they deserve to be loved, they think I’m crazy. They test me in numerous ways to get me to throw them out of my office. They are testing the point I made that they are lovable. They try everything they can think of to prove me wrong. However, in reality they are hoping to fail and prove that I am right that they are lovable. So, I hold strong and tell them I won’t change my mind and I will not give up. I will not throw them out of therapy. If they decide to walk out that is their choice and I can’t stop it, but I will not throw them out because I know they are worthy of being loved. I also let them know if they do walk out that my door will always be opened to them.

After testing me, many of these teens decide they are worth it and decide to make a future for themselves. It is amazing to see and it is very nice to see. However, there are those teenagers who walk out and that is very disappointing. It’s not disappointing because I lost it is disappointing because the teenager will continue to live in pain.

The main point is that Challenge Day, Alive and Free (another program for teens) and other therapists like myself cannot be the only ones trying to help teenagers. We need everyone to help. Parents, teachers, physicians, psychotherapists, the juvenile justice system and our communities. We need to let children know from the day that they are born that they deserve to be loved and that they are important members of our society. We cannot continue to wait until these children are teenagers to tell them they are lovable. Waiting until they are teenagers may be too late and the teen may not believe you. If we start when they are babies, they will grow up with a sense that they are important and deserved to be loved. This could help reduce how many teens turn to drugs or violence.

So, think about how you can show a teenager that they deserve to be loved and that they are important. If everyone starts with one teenager, you would be surprised the changes we can make in someone’s life and the world.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist who specializes in treating children and teenagers. He has over 20 years experience treating teenagers. If you want more information about Dr. Rubino visit his website at www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/drrubino3.

Helping Teenagers Understand Responsibility

Helping Teenagers Understand Responsibility

We have people blaming teenagers and college students for not wearing masks, having big parties, such as pool parties, on the weekends and that college students are hanging out at bars and as a result of their behavior we blame them for Coronavirus rates increasing across the Country. College students and teenagers have been involved in a number of protests, such as Black Lives Matter, and we are saying the virus is increasing because of protestors not wearing masks and not social distancing too. Finally, we are looking at teenagers and college students across the Country having Coronavirus parties and this is another reason the virus is spreading. As of today, August 4, 2020, there have been 159,000 deaths in our Country due to the Coronavirus and we are averaging 1,000 more every day (CDC). There are a tremendous amount of people who have died in our Country and in my opinion we are being unfair blaming teenagers, college students and protestors.

If we look at the White House, what do we expect from teenagers? Today in an interview the President stated yes a 1,000 people are dying, but that is how it is. No empathy in his tone of voice and taking no responsibility. He has been holding press conferences about the Coronavirus and he has stated people can wear masks but he will not require it. Additionally, he has been going all over the Country and he does not wear a mask. He wore one only once. Therefore, what message is he sending to the Country and teenagers especially? Additionally at the President’s press conferences he continues to state that the malaria drug is a cure for the virus. However, numerous studies by our top medical experts have all shown that the drug is ineffective and can cause deadly side effects. Yet he stands in front of the Country and makes it a popularity contest by saying people like Dr. Fauci better. Again this is what teenagers do, if you confront them on a story that they cannot back up with facts, they say you don’t like me. How can we expect teenagers to be responsible about their actions, when the President cannot be reasonable about his actions?

The President has been pushing that all school children must return to school on time and in their school buildings. However, his son’s school has delayed the beginning of their school until October and they will be doing remote learning (ABC, CBS News, CNN). Again we have a message of do as I say not as I do. What are teenagers and college students going to think when it is clear the President is willing to gamble with their lives, but not his son’s life or his family’s life?

Let’s take a different look at this situation. If your teenage son was not doing well in school and he was in danger of not passing his classes and his response to you was, “it is what is.” How would you feel? If this same son spent every weekend hanging out with friends and not doing his homework or studying, what would you think? Furthermore, if your teen did see any reason to spend his weekend trying to repair his grades and he believed it was more important to hang out with friends because he needed a rest, what would you think? I don’t think you would approve of your son’s behavior. We are in the middle of a global pandemic and the President spends his weekends golfing not addressing the pandemic. Today, 8/4/20, was the first time in six months that he attended a meeting of the Coronavirus Task Team (ABC, CBS News, CNN). Looking at the standard the President is setting for teenagers, I’m sure, as I stated above, you would be disappointed in your son’s behavior, but how can you say anything based on the President’s actions? How do you argue with your teenager to do his geometry homework, when the President is ignoring 159,000 Americans dying?

Parents you are faced with only one option in my opinion. You need to explain to your son that yes the President is not being responsible and ignoring his duties. However, two wrongs do not make a right. The President can choose to be irresponsible and he will have to face the American voters and may lose his job. Just like the President will be judged by the voters for his choices, you need to point out to your son that his teacher will judge his choices about studying by the grade he receives in the class. Additionally, you will be judging his choices about school based on the grades he receives in his classes. Finally, you need to point out and educate them on the fact that just because someone else chooses to ignore their responsibilities, even if he is the President, it does not give him the right to ignore his responsibilities. The final choice is up to him and he must face the consequences for his actions.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information about Dr. Rubino’s work or private practice visit his website at http://www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page http://www.Facebook.com/drrubino3 or listen to his podcast on Apple or Spotify.

Teenagers May Need more Access to Electronics during the Pandemic

Teenagers May Need more Access to Electronics during the Pandemic

Most middle school and high school students have grown up with smart phones and computers for gaming and texting their friends. This brings up the common argument about how much time teens are spending on line. Many parents have concerns that their teenager is addicted to their smart phones and gaming. Teenagers feel that their parents are over reacting and they can’t become addicted to their devices.

However, due to the pandemic gaming is now one of the few safe activities teenagers can do. Most places such as movie theaters and malls are closed so gamine provides a safe way to hang out with friends. This is very important to their social development at their age. Additionally, research is showing that teenagers who have little access to normal social activities are becoming depressed during the pandemic (CDC). Therefore, we need to re-evaluate the issue of gaming during the pandemic.

While the truth is teenagers can become addicted to their computer devices and gaming. The World Health Organization (WHO) took a step this year and classified “Gaming Disorder” as a formal diagnosis. As I stated, many parents have been concerned about this for years. Also it does not just impact teenagers, as many may think. I have had couples come in for marriage counseling because Gaming was destroying a marriage. For several years the American Psychological Association has said it would be adding Gaming addiction as a formal diagnosis to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, however, so far the APA has not been able to decide on the specific criteria for this diagnosis. What the WHO has done is they have acknowledged what many parents have been reporting for years and helping us to take a step so it is acknowledged as a diagnosis. While it is a diagnosis according to the WHO, gaming again is one of the safe activities teenagers can engage in during the pandemic. This does create a difficult situation.

The United States appears to be behind other countries in identifying that video game addiction does exist and does create problems for individuals and families. Seoul, South Korea and Tokyo, Japan have inpatient treatment centers for gaming addiction. These rehabilitation centers have been open for years and have treated thousands of people over the years. Therefore, other countries have acknowledged Gaming addiction that United States parents have been reporting for years.

As a psychotherapist who treats teenagers, I would have to agree with the parents and I say Gaming addiction is real. I have seen teenagers become violent, punching holes in walls or physically threatening their parents, if there video games or cellphones are taken away as a punishment. Teenagers have told me they cannot function without their video games or cellphones and will do anything to get them back. This sounds like and look like a problem to me. A cellphone or PlayStation should not be a teenager’s life line.

However, as I stated above, the pandemic does create a different situation regarding teenagers gaming online with friends. Since this is a safe way for teenagers to maintain social contacts, I think we need to create new guidelines for the pandemic. Parents are aware that teenagers can become addicted, but they can monitor how their teenagers are acting before and after using electronics. Also maybe have a day without electronics, while allowing some extra time on other days. So try to balance out how much time they are on electronics along with doing other things such as going outside for walks to get exercise.

The statement from the WHO states that the Gaming must be interfering with activities of daily life, such as homework, and be present for at least a year. These guidelines seem sensible to me. Also the WHO cautions that issues such as depression and anxiety need to be ruled out before assigning the diagnosis of Gaming Addiction. Many teenagers who are depressed or dealing with severe anxiety do self-medicate with video games. Finally, the WHO states your child needs to be evaluated by a mental health clinician who specializes in treating and assessing children and teenagers. This is very important because typically children and teenagers do not always have the typical symptoms we associate with depression or anxiety. A clinician experienced in assessing children and teenagers can make the appropriate diagnosis. Given these guidelines it appears to me that parents can allow teenagers to use their electronics more during this time of the pandemic. Parents can make sure to balance electronic time with other activities such as exercise. Furthermore, parents need to be observing their teenagers mood on a daily basis. If the teen is looking depressed or acting anxious then the parents need to schedule a time to have their teenager evaluated by a mental health professional who specializes in treating children and teenagers.

I have included a link to a segment on Good Morning America which discusses the diagnosis and other issues I have discussed to assist you in understanding what the WHO is referring to with Gaming Addiction, https://youtu.be/axG1tLdutmY.

The World Health Organization has taken an important step in helping us understand and define a problem many parents have been reporting for years. This is not a bad thing. I view it as a positive step. Technology is moving very fast. In fact, it is moving so fast we cannot keep up with all the new issues we need to deal with as a result of new technology. The more we understand this technology the more we all can benefit and avoid potential serious problems.

With that be stated, the Coronavirus pandemic does present parents and teenagers with a entirely new set of issues. If we stay calm and flexible, we should be able to address these new issues without a great deal of stress for parents or teenagers. Remember this is a new situation for everyone and no one has experienced this type of health situation before. Therefore, if we all work together, we should be able to find solutions to the new issues we continue to face on a daily basis.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating and assessing children and teenagers. For more information about his work visit his website http://www.RubinoCounseling.com or Facebook page http://www.Facebook.com/drrubino3.

Outside Family Activities during the Pandemic

Outside Family Activities during the Pandemic

Since the Coronavirus has hit, we have had to change our work lives and family lives. Change the family life has been a challenge for many parents. It has become more of a challenge since summer has started and the kids want to go outside. They are tired of being inside. I found some good recommendations on Lori Lite’s blog regarding reducing stress for children. All of these activities can be done wearing a mask and keeping the social distancing requirements. These are perfect activities during the pandemic and with the State being closed down. Also getting outside in the fresh air and sunshine is great for the whole family since we have been locked down for several months. It’s a great family bonding experience and a great way to reduce everyone’s stress. Here are some fun outdoor activities to do as a family:

Go For a Walk:
Not only is this a completely free activity, but it is also an excellent opportunity to talk more with your family. However, remember you need to wear your masks, keep appropriate social distance from others and use your sunscreen. Take the time to ask them about they are feeling about the situation with school, friends, or anything else that interests them. You can take a walk around the block or head to a trail nearby. This is also a great way to get in more exercise as a family and can encourage a healthier lifestyle. You can easily take a walk after dinner or make a day out of it as well. It’s amazing the topics of conversation that come up with kids when there aren’t the distractions of being inside, screens, phones, or chores.

Go For a Ride:
Riding with family, like walking, is great bonding activity. Again, remember your helmets, masks, sunscreen and to social distance from others. At first, it’s good to do it on footpaths and then get to cycle-paths to build up each of your skills and also to bit by bit learn how you ride together and communicate with each other. Like walking, it’s amazing the conversations that will arise with your family. The beauty of cycling with your family is the different places you can see. You can do an off-road trail and explore the bush. You can ride around a harbor, lake, river or parkland – chatting about the wildlife, views, houses and architecture. As long as you remember to social distance from others and to wear your masks. Of course, you don’t have to ride all the time, there will be plenty of playgrounds to stop at and explore and many times there are great trees which are just beckoning your kids to stop, get off their bikes and climb. Consider making cycling a regular family adventure and build lifetime memories with your kids!

Have a Picnic
Enjoy the next sunny day with your family by having a picnic. You and your kids can prepare the food together in the morning. Choose foods you all love and have them help pack everything you need for the picnic. Then you all can spend the day in the park or even your backyard enjoying each other’s company. If you are at a park, remember your masks and to keep appropriate social distance from others. Picnics can also be an opportunity to play games, try out new recipes, and find new parks around your neighborhood. 

Water Balloon Fight:
You and your kids can do this in the backyard or even at the nearby park. Grab a large bucket and a bunch of balloons to fill with water. You can make your own rules with this kind of activity or even make it into a hide-and-seek game. This will also get your family moving and exercising without even realizing it. Again, remember you still need your masks and to social distance from others at a park. You can change it up by using raw eggs at times. This may be a good idea if it’s a little too cold for water balloons.

These are a few ideas. Now that we have started the ball rolling, you can also ask your kids about activities or games they may want to play. You may be amazed at their creativity and again it’s a great way to keep the communication flowing between you and your kids.

Dr. Michael Rubino is a psychotherapist with over 20 years experience treating children and teenagers. For more information about his work with teenagers or his private practice visit his website at http://www.RubinoCounseling.com or his Facebook page at http://www.Facebook.com/drrubino3.